Our worlds came colliding together
Only two of us taking on it all
Teetering, only two of us on the edge of forever
Falling, only two of us left standing
Only two of us stepping side by side
You showed me an undying love
Together, trust was our lifelong test
Each day happy or sad you’ve become my above
No touch left, only the warmth of you
Making my broken heart seamless
Now I’m done
I’m beautifully done
Your green sparkle, wit and charm is all I need
All I’ll ever need
Now I’m done … yeaaaah
I’m beautifully done
As my breath pushed out the last note and I opened my eyes, I was met with tears and smiles from our family and friends. Wet faces with heart-stopping smiles. The love emitting from the room was beautiful and overpowering. I breathed in deeply and let it consume me. I let it soak into every part of my being. I could only feel lucky. The emotion I struggled to keep at bay while I sang finally overflowed, and Tack was around the drums in a nanosecond to wrap me in his arms. His hold was the strength I needed.
Leaning down, he kissed my forehead and whispered in my ear, “I love you, Mom, you sounded so beautiful. It was perfect. Thank you … from all of us.”
“Love you, honey.” I paused a moment to take another deep breath. “Thanks for the push to get up there, it was special. I wish you and Paige all the love and happiness that we’ve been lucky enough to have. Congratulations, baby. Now promise me you won’t make me cry too hard.” I handed him the mic and left him chuckling as I made my way to my seat.
“Uh-hum.” Tack cleared his throat and I felt my own tighten. “My lovely bride and I would like to thank all of you for coming and sharing our special day with us. Yeah, yeah, don’t roll your eyes, we know it took us forever, but it was a technicality. We’ve been married in our eyes from day one. Today is not just about us, though, it’s about family. And that’s what all of you are—family. We’d also like to thank my brother and his gorgeous wife for hosting today. I do believe Lil missed her calling as a full-time party planner, don’t you agree?”
The room cheered and hooted, missing when Tack lifted his chin with sincere appreciation toward Chase, who had found his place next to Lil. But I didn’t miss it, I never would.
Tack looked my way, took a deep breath and continued on. “I asked my mom to sing this song for two reasons. First because she has the absolute sickest voice…” The tent erupted again, cutting him off this time and my cheeks pinked. “But more importantly, there was no way I could let a day as important as today go by without paying tribute to the greatest man I’ll ever know … a man who showed me how to be a brother, a son, a husband, and God willing, a father one day. A man who only knew about family and only knew loyalty. He taught me that being a man means your word means something. And I can tell you, as can half the people in this room, that Asher Craig was a man of his word. He looked me in the eye and promised he would love my mother and our family until the day he died and he did just that. And he didn’t just do it—he did it like he lived life, in grand fucking fashion. Sorry, Mom-” His eyes cut to me, knowing I always disapproved of cursing. But at the same time, he sounded just like Asher, and I’d never disapprove of that. Tack’s eyes softened and I knew I needed to brace. “Not many men would change their last name, especially not at twenty-one, but then again, not many men had Asher Craig as their father figure. Proud doesn’t begin to cut it. It’s not a legacy I’d ever let die and I just hope I’m man enough to do it justice.” Tack picked up two amber filled glasses, bending down to hand me one. The room stood as he lifted the other above his head, “To Asher Craig … Pop, this one’s for you, beautifully done.” Tack closed his pooled eyes before they spilled, tipped back his head and drained his scotch. The emotion-filled room followed suit, raising glasses and toasting, “To Asher.”
I couldn’t begin to describe the feelings that coursed through me as I stood there watching and listening to my son’s beautiful tribute to the love of my life. It was as close to an outer body experience as I thought possible. For a second I thought my weak leg was going to give out, but then I felt it.
I felt him … he was holding me up. Like he always had.
The barbed wire knot in my throat released, the squeeze around my heart subsided, and the static in my head cleared. All I heard was music and I relished in the love. His love. He was there with me, my ace in the sky, my protector.
He physically left me two years ago, but I was not alone. I could never be alone, not when my heart and soul belonged to him. People sometimes say that when you love that deeply, part of you dies with your soulmate. They’re wrong. He was alive in me. And I would carry him with me along our path until we met again.
The glow from the lanterns lining the beach and the moon high in the sky was the only illumination we had on our sparkly toes. Lil, Sierra, and I had left our insanely high heels back in the tent and walked down to the Adirondacks, beach side. Sitting side by side with our feet crossed and resting on the small table in front of us, we were admiring our pedicures. Because that’s what best friends did.
“I’m thinking I’m finally getting the courage to do it. If I drink enough it won’t hurt, or you can just give me some numbing cream or something, right? You’ve done it twice now, Tal, it can’t be that bad.” Lil was rambling, but I knew exactly what she was talking about.
“What the hell are you talking about, Asspuck? Geeze, too much champagne and you’re freaking bumbling.” Sier obviously did not.
“Tal’s tats. I wanna do it. I love them.” Lil pulled up her foot like she was admiring her boys’ names already there. I bent my knee and traced the three letters on my other arch. ACE. I felt the heat of their stares on my finger. “Tal, you okay?” Lil whispered. “I mean I know you’re okay, but tonight was a lot. It was emotional. For all of us.”
“You know I could say that I’m not. That I’m a mess. That I want to crawl into a black hole, under a rock and never come out. That I would do anything to bring him back to get just one more minute. But I don’t need to. Our time was enough … it was what we were given.”
Lili sucked in a sharp breath and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Did I tell you the story about when Ash and I were scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef?”
“Umm. Who knows? Pretty sure I lost track after your fiftieth trip.” Sierra haphazardly huffed and dragged a finger under her wet eye. Typical Sier comeback, pissed she was getting emotional.
“Well, too bad. It’s a good one.” I loved that I could so easily slip back into my memories. “The sky and the water were the same vibrant blue, it was crazy how when you looked out to the horizon it was completely seamless. Anyway, we had just stripped off our wet suits from the dive of our lives. I had taken my seat at the stern and lifted my face to the sun, reliving what I just witnessed moments before. It was beyond anything you could have ever dreamed—spectacular, breathtaking, completely redefining my perfect paradise. I truly had never seen anything more beautiful.”
“Oh Tal,” Lili croaked, wiggling into my chair and draping her arm around my shoulder.