I feel him stand a moment later and sense him stare at me. Even though what he just did to me was so intimate I still feel rather exposed, so I grab my blanket to cover myself, but his hands stop my efforts. “Please don’t hide from me, Em, you’re fucking perfect, baby.”
My stomach does a little flip at the sincerity of his words and I give him a small smile before letting go of the blanket. I’ve never had anyone make me feel as beautiful as he does.
I hear the sound of his belt a moment later as he rids himself of his pants. Next is the sound of a wrapper being ripped open, and my heart thunders in both nervousness and anticipation. I feel him come over me a moment later, his bare body blanketing mine, and again it’s like a shock to my system, but even more so it has warmth flooding my heart.
“Are you sure about this, Em?” Ryder whispers. “We can stop now, and I can just hold you.”
I shake my head, dismissing his suggestion right away. “I’m sure. I want to feel you everywhere.”
I hear him release what sounds like a relieved breath before pressing a soft kiss to my lips. He rises up a moment later and I feel the tip of his erection slip into me. My legs clamp around his hips and I gasp at the tight invasion.
“Oh fuck!” he groans. “Try to relax, baby.” I loosen my grip on his hips and breathe through the fiery, yet exquisite pleasure my body is going through. He stills once he’s buried as deep as he can go, giving me time to adjust. “You okay, Em?” he grinds out huskily, concern evident in his tone.
“Yes, it feels a little better, just go slow.”
He does, slowly rocking in and out of me, filling my heart as he fills my body. “Open your eyes, Em.” I open them, not realizing they were even closed until he said something. I sense his face close to mine, and he plants a soft kiss at the corner of my eye. “You’re so beautiful, and you feel so fucking perfect.”
I swallow thickly, the insecurities my mother scarred on my heart, about my disability, disappearing with every sincere word he breathes. “You do too,” I whisper softly. My hands immediately find his face, needing to see him, but, for the first time in my life, my touch isn’t enough. I swallow back my resentment at not being able to truly see him. To look into his incredible, dark green eyes I hear so much about while he completes my soul.
Before I can stop it a single tear escapes, which has Ryder stilling. “What’s wrong, baby, do you want me to stop?”
I shake my head. “For the first time in my life I’m resenting my disability. I hate that I can’t see you right now.” My breath hitches as I struggle to hold in my pain.
His hand encircles my wrist and he presses a soft kiss to the inside of my palm before laying it back on his face. “You see me, Em, far better than anyone else ever has. All you need to do now is feel me, baby. Just feel me.”
I think about his words and smile. He always knows what to say to make everything right. My fingers trace the familiar curves and lines of his face, and I notice one side is more pronounced than the other, which is not how it normally is. I quickly remember his earlier upset tonight. “Ryder?”
I feel him shake his head. “Forget it, Em, just think about this, only me inside of you and how perfect it is.”
I know someone hurt him tonight, which in return hurts me, but I try to tamp it down and do what he says, not wanting anything to ruin this moment. I wrap my arms around his neck to bring him closer and press a careful kiss to the swollen part of his jaw. “I love you, Ryder.” I feel him falter but I don’t stop. “I love everything about you and I think you’re absolutely perfect,” I tell him truthfully, knowing no one has ever told him that before, but they should have because it’s the truth.
He drops his forehead to mine and I feel his breathing turn heavy. “No one is going to fuck with this, Em. You hear me? You are mine!” he grinds out and starts thrusting into me possessively.
“Yes, yours!” I agree breathlessly, because it’s the truth. For the first time in my life I finally do feel like I belong, that I am where I was always meant to be. With Ryder.
“That’s right, baby, and I will not let anyone keep you from me.” His pace increases and turns almost desperate. I know he’s talking about my father and the impending doom we are waiting for.
I wrap one of my legs around his hip, wanting to feel more of him. “Never, I won’t ever leave you, no matter what,” I whisper reassuringly, wanting him to know that nothing my father says or does will ever make me leave him.
He buries his face in my neck but doesn’t let his thrusts falter. My nails dig into his shoulders and I hold on to him with the same desperation.
“Oh fuck! I don’t think I can hold back much longer, baby. You feel too damn good.”
“Don’t hold back, just let go.” I lift my hips to match his frantic thrusts, my body more accepting of his now.
“Fuck,” he groans a moment later then stills when he’s seated deep inside of me, finally letting go. He settles more on top of me but is careful to keep from crushing me with his weight. I hold him close while we catch our breaths and reflect on what just happened.
“You okay?” he whispers, his lips close to my ear.
“Yes, I’ve never been more okay in my entire life.”
Giving me a long kiss on the forehead, he pulls out of me with a groan and I instantly miss his connection. He leaves to use my washroom and I feel Summer jump back up on the bed. Oops. I guess she kind of lost her spot. I giggle, feeling a little weird at what she just witnessed, and give her a kiss on the head. “Sorry, girl.” She gives me a lick and rubs against the side of my face, not seeming all that upset.
“That dog better not be taking my spot.”
I bite my lip with a smirk. “This dog’s name is Summer. She is my guide dog and my very best friend.”
“Guide dog?”
“Yes, and this is actually her spot, but I’m sure I can work something out for you.”
He grunts, which makes me giggle, and I lead Summer to the foot of my bed so Ryder can crawl back in. He wastes no time doing so and he gives me a long, slow, leisurely kiss before pulling me down next to him and wrapping me in his arms. It’s my very favorite place to be, not only because I love being so close to him but also because he makes me feel safe. When he holds me like this I feel like we are in our own world, one that’s impenetrable, and no one can take it away from us.
“So tell me about your dog. What does she do?”
Smiling, I turn on my side and his fingers find their place on my bare back, drawing lazy, soft circles. “She’s probably one of the smartest dogs you will ever meet. She is trained to do amazing things. To press elevator buttons, to judge height and width of something so I don’t run into anything, she stops at curbs and doesn’t cross unless it’s safe do so. I only put her harness on and use her as my guide dog if I’m not familiar with my surroundings. We have to work together, but she really does take care of me. She always has my back if I ever misjudge anything. I never have to worry about her leading me in the wrong direction.”
“I have to admit that’s pretty cool and I’m glad she takes care of you even though I know you’re fine on your own.”
I smile. “You’re right I am, but I love having her too.”
A comfortable silence settles over us, and my hands find his face so I can see him. I trace his lips, which has him pressing a kiss to my fingers. I move across the swollen part of his jaw and gentle my touch, remembering his earlier upset. “Do you want to talk about what happened earlier tonight?”
“Not really, no,” he replies quietly.
I push on nervously, hoping he will open up. “Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset.”
He’s quiet for a long moment before he finally opens up. “I just hate it here, Em. I fucking hate it so much. I especially hate who and where I come from and that it completely defines me.”