“It doesn’t define you,” I reply softly, running my fingers through his hair. “Other people may let that define you, but that doesn’t mean it’s who you are. That just means they’re judgmental assholes.”
“Did you just say assholes?” he asks with a hint of amusement in his tone.
“Yes, I did, now be quiet, I’m not finished.”
He chuckles and pulls me closer. “Damn, Em, I like this riled up side of yours.”
“Oh be quiet.” I giggle, but quickly become serious once again. “I mean it, Ryder. No one defines who you are but yourself, and anyone that knows you, and I mean really knows you, will see you’re amazing and perfect. Just like I do.”
I sense him staring at me and I wait for him to say something, but instead of answering I notice his fingers change direction from the lazy circles they were just drawing moments ago. They start drawing sharp lines and I try to follow its pattern. My heart stalls in my chest when I think he just spelled something out but I can’t be sure. When he moves back up to the top and starts again, I pay closer attention and realize I was right, that he’s spelling a message. After he finishes for the second time I know he just spelled ‘I love you’. I lay still, not knowing if I should respond, just in case I’m wrong, but thankfully I don’t have to.
“Do you know what I just wrote, Em?” he asks softly, with an edge of vulnerability in his voice.
“Yes. I- I think so.”
He suddenly flips me over so I’m on my back and the top half of his body comes over mine. I feel his face close, his breath whispering across my lips. “Come with me, Emily.”
“Where?” I ask in confusion.
“I’ve been accepted to the University Of Florida and I want you to come with me.”
Shock has me stilling. “What? But- but how? I have school.”
“We can get you distance learning or something. I’ll help you.”
“But what about money? I can’t work right now, Ryder, and with my disability…”
“You don’t have to. Thanks to Hector, I have a job lined up already with his cousin who owns a garage there. He is going to take me on and let me work around my classes.”
I shake my head, my mind having a hard time comprehending all this, and then feel him rest his forehead on mine. “I’ll take care of you, Em. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”
My throat burns with emotion and I swallow thickly before laying my hand on the side of his face. “Oh, Ryder, I know you would, it’s not that, but I don’t want you to take care of me, at least not like that. You’re going to have school, a job, I don’t want you to have to worry about taking care of me too.”
“I don’t give a shit about any of that. This is the only way I can think of that we can be together. We can get the fuck away from all this shit and live in a place where no one knows us. Where we come from won’t matter there.”
I think about everything he says, my mind running a million miles a minute. I desperately want to say yes, but… I know I can’t. At least not yet, not until I’m more independent. I don’t want to have to rely on him. I want to be able to contribute. If only my trust fund from my grandmother was accessible then it would at least help, but right now I have nothing to offer.
He senses my answer through my silence. “Never mind, it was a stupid idea,” he says before laying back down beside me.
“No, it wasn’t,” I rush to say and sit up. “I want to say yes so badly, Ryder, but I just…”
“Em, it’s fine, really, just forget about it.” The finality of his tone has me lying back down. He puts an arm over me, but it’s not the same as it was a few minutes ago. I can sense he’s upset, which has my throat clogging with emotion. Not only because I don’t want him to be mad at me, but also because I know he’s been accepted and will be leaving for Florida soon.
Tears begin to spill down my cheeks, I try to keep them silent but a little sniffle escapes before I can stop it. Ryder releases a deep breath before coming over top of me again. “Come on, Em, please don’t cry.”
I shake my head and try to swallow past my tears so I can respond. “I just don’t want you to be mad. I want to say yes so badly, Ryder, I really do. I love you so much, but…”
“I know, baby. I’m not mad, I promise. It was just a thought.”
“I don’t want to lose you,” I tell him, my words falling off on a small sob.
“You aren’t going to lose me, I promise. We will think of another way. Let’s just enjoy tonight for what it is and worry about it tomorrow, okay?”
I nod and he leans in to give me one more kiss. One that completely connects our souls and locks us in our own world, one I never want to live without.
Chapter 7
Ryder
The sound of a gasp pulls me from a deep sleep. My eyes snap open and I see a Mexican lady staring at Emily and me in horror, which has me realizing I fell asleep. Oh fuck! I look down at Emily draped across my chest and I’m thankful to see her nightgown is back in place. I clear my throat, wondering how I should start damage control when Emily lulls from sleep.
“Emily Michaels, are you crazy?” the lady shouts in a loud whisper before closing the door behind her.
Emily shoots up in a panic, still half asleep. I quickly steady her and glare at the bitch who’s yelling at her. “Rosa… I-I.”
“It’s my fault, not hers,” I say as I grab my shirt off the floor and throw it over my head. The lady watches me nervously, and I’m fucking thankful my pants are on. I fully intended to leave last night, but Emily felt so damn good next to me. I don’t remember sleep taking me.
I lean over now and pull Emily into my arms. “I accidentally fell asleep. Sorry, Em.”
She lays a hand on my face. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to.” I encircle her wrist and kiss the palm of her hand.
“You are lucky your father left early this morning,” the lady cuts in, still sounding pissed, but her expression is a little softer as she watches us. “But your mother is in the shower. So you need to get out right now!” she adds, pointing directly at me.
“I’ll see you in trig, baby.” Since we are already busted I don’t hold back from kissing her.
Her cheeks turn pink but she gives me her usual smile that knocks me on my ass. “Bye, Ryder.”
I stand and move to make my exit out the window when the lady intercepts me. “What are you doing, you stupid boy? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” I rear back in shock. Jesus, she’s feisty for being little. She shakes her head then grabs me by the arm. “Come, now, I’ll sneak you out the front, but we have to hurry.”
I let her drag me out of the room and hear Emily giggle just as the lady closes the door behind us. I follow along beside her through the massive house and try to ignore her questioning eyes, hoping that will keep her silent, unfortunately it doesn’t. “You must end this.”
I shake my head. “No, I won’t. No one is going to keep me from her.”
She expels a worried sigh and stops me once we get to the bottom of the stairs. “Listen to me. I know you guys care about each other, I can see that, but you do not know what you are getting involved in when it comes to her father. You are not only putting yourself in danger but you are risking Emily’s safety as well.”
Emily’s safety? “What the hell are you talking about?”
She looks away for a split second before swinging her gaze back to mine and I’m shocked to see the fear in it. “Governor Michaels is a ruthless man, more than you will ever know. That is all I will tell you. I am begging you, for both of your sakes, you need to let her go.”
“If her safety is in danger then why the hell would I leave her?”
“She won’t be in any danger if you leave her be.”
I think about her words and just the thought has my chest constricting with panic. I shake my head. “No,” I state firmly and head for the door. “I’ll take care of her. I won’t let anyone hurt her, not even her father.”