Then there were the girls’ opinions. They either bragged about a night they spent with Ryder, or you heard them talking about wanting to spend a night with him. And for some reason that really bothered me. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it and I know I have no right to feel that way, but when it comes to Ryder Jameson it seems like my feelings, or rather my hormones, have a mind of their own.
Unfortunately, for as much as I want to know more about Ryder, all his appearances have been brief and I haven’t gotten much more than a greeting from him. That was until yesterday morning, after class, when Jimmy had asked me if I was going to the beach party the next night. I told him yes and that I would see him there.
After I walked out of the classroom and was headed to my next class, Ryder stopped me in the hallway. “Em, wait up!” I halted and couldn’t stop the small flutter in my tummy at the nickname he had given me. He started calling me it the day after the Kyle incident, but my flutter vanished quickly when he said, “Don’t go to that party tomorrow night.”
His sudden hard tone had me perplexed. “Why?”
“Because it’s not a good place for someone like you.”
I reared back, insulted and angry yet also hurt, but I made sure to swallow back the latter. “Someone like me?” I asked though clenched teeth.
“Shit, that came out wrong. That is not what I meant. I’m just saying…”
I put my hand up to silence him. “I’ll have you know, Ryder Jameson, that just because I am blind I’m not a complete invalid. I’m actually capable of a lot of things, and…”
“Damn it, Emily, that isn’t what I meant.”
“Really? Then enlighten me, what did you mean?”
He released a frustrated breath. “Look, I just meant that a lot of assholes go to these parties and…”
“Are you going?”
“What?” he asked, clearly caught off guard by the question.
“I said, are you going?”
He paused before answering. “I thought about it, yeah.”
“That’s what I thought. I guess I’ll see ya there… No pun intended,” I bit out before stalking off.
When I reflect back on it I guess it wasn’t fair of me to say, but I was hurt. I had hoped that he would have noticed how independent I am, but a lot of people don’t, they only see a blind girl. Which is okay, I know they just don’t understand it. I do believe his concern was genuine and he was probably just looking out for me, which was sweet. But now all I want to do is show up at this party and prove to him that I could be a part of something like this. And if I was being honest, I wanted to prove it to myself too.
“We’re here,” Cece announces excitedly, pulling me from my thoughts. We both get out of the car and she comes over right away to link arms with me. “Don’t worry, girl, I got your back and I won’t leave you.”
“You can come and go as you please. I don’t need a babysitter,” My tone is a bit harsher than I intended it to be.
Her step falters. “My aren’t we touchy tonight,” she replies, not really sounding offended, “but you’re right, you don’t need a sitter. I will get you familiar with the surroundings then I’ll mingle on my own if you don’t want to come. You have your phone if you need me.”
“Thanks,” I mumble, feeling guilty now for being touchy.
“You’re welcome,” she responds before kissing my cheek. Even if we don’t agree on a lot of things, she really does have a good heart and I am very lucky to have her as my friend.
“And may I just say how stunning you look tonight.”
I scoff. “Yeah, I’ll just bet I look all sorts of sexy with my sunglasses on at night.”
“I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can…” We both burst out laughing at Cece’s horrendous voice singing the popular eighties song. “Okay, all joking aside you do look beautiful. I’m telling you, girl, you are rocking that dress.”
“Thanks, Cece,” I respond thickly, my heart warming at her compliment. “I’m sure you look beautiful too.”
“Yup, I sure do.” We both giggle at her not-so-subtle modesty.
Once we reach the sand we toe off our sandals and start across the beach to where I hear nothing but chaos. Music thumps loudly through the air, laughter and shouts from both males and females fill the night. I know the moment we reach the party because I instantly feel bodies surround me, knocking into me.
My heart begins to pound with anxiety, but I quickly tamp it down and take a deep breath. You can do this, Emily. You are more than capable. Just breathe and tone your senses down. It’s something I have to tell myself often when I’m around a crowd. Being blind, my other senses are very heightened to make up for what I lack. Which means I am extremely attuned to my surroundings and sensitive to people’s energies, it can become overwhelming if I don’t ground myself.
Cece walks me around the party, letting me get a feel for the surroundings. A few people greet me and I’m able to figure out who most of them are by the sound of their voice, though it’s a little tricky with all the noise.
After getting drinks we settle by the fire, but it isn’t long before Cece is off doing her own thing. Which unfortunately leaves me alone next to Jimmy Newman. Don’t get me wrong, he’s nice and all, but sometimes a little too nice. It seems he always has to touch you when he talks to you.
I was surprised to hear he and his friends would be here. Mainly because I’ve always been told we never mingle, but Cece says that doesn’t count for the beach parties. That only counts when the parties are at someone’s house. Our side doesn’t go to theirs and they don’t come to ours, but this is mutual territory. I personally think the whole thing is ridiculous, but I gave up trying to understand any of that nonsense a long time ago.
I feel Jimmy sloppily sling an arm around my shoulder, and get a whiff of his beer breath. “Ya know, Emily, you’re cool. You’re not stuck up like the rest of the bitches that come from your side.”
I bite back an amused smile. “Er, thanks. I guess.”
“And you’re pretty too. Even with your sunglasses on.”
I giggle at his slurred words and shake my head. I’m just about to throw his arm off me when I suddenly feel a large presence looming over us. A strong, masculine scent penetrates my senses, mixing in with the ocean breeze, and makes my heart skip a beat. I instantly know who it is by my body’s reaction.
Jimmy’s arm suddenly vanishes from around my shoulders. “Uh… I’ll catch you later, Emily.”
I put my hand out to stop him from leaving. “You don’t have to leave, Jimmy.” I tell him firmly, knowing Ryder’s presence is making him want to tuck tale and run.
“Uh…”
“Actually, he does.” Ryder’s hard, bossy tone grates on my nerves. It also makes me feel something else, something I don’t want to acknowledge.
Before I can argue further, Jimmy is already gone. I tilt my head up to the person in front of me. “Ryder,” I greet, not hiding my annoyance. “I’m surprised you’re here. Although I guess I shouldn’t be. You did say lots of assholes come to these sort of things.” Oh that was a good one, Emily. I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling at my witty greeting.
I hear him grunt before I feel him sit beside me. Oh heck. My heart falters, and the heat of his body engulfs mine, warming me more than the fire does. Damn traitorous body.
“I guess that means you’re still pissed at me.”
“Nope.” I lie. “I appreciate your warning, but as you can see I am getting along here just fine, blind and all. I didn’t even walk into the fire.”
I feel him watch me, a long moment of silence stretching out between us. “I didn’t mean it how you took it, Em.”
I soften at his sincere tone and the use of my nickname. “Actually, you did, but it’s okay. I’m used to it and I do know that your concern was genuine.”
“No, you’re wrong. I wasn’t talking about your blindness, I was talking about your innocence.”