I cut off her message by ripping the phone from Ryder and hitting the reply button. “Cece, calm down, I’m fine. I promise I’ll message you as soon as I get home. Have fun and I love you.” I put my phone back in my purse and ignore the chime I get a second later. I shift uncomfortably as I feel Ryder watch me. “Sorry about that. She’s a little protective.” I apologize again, still feeling guilty he heard her say that.
“Don’t worry about it, I’m used to it.”
I think about his easy response. “Why is everyone afraid of you?”
I hear him grunt. “Because they’re pussies.”
I smile and shake my head, letting him know that answer doesn’t suffice. “Come on, you have to give me more than that. It’s only fair after everything I’ve shared with you.”
Silence surrounds us and I start to think he isn’t going to bite, but he finally does. “Because I know how to take care of myself, and I’ve had to shut people up a time or two. But a lot of it is also their imagination. I don’t let people in my personal life, and since they don’t get to see it that scares them, and they conjure up all sorts of shit.”
“Why don’t you let anyone in your personal life?”
“Because I just don’t.”
By his abrupt answer I know he isn’t going to clarify further and it makes me wonder why I’m here. “Why did you bring me here?”
“Because I wanted to be alone with you.”
“Why?” I ask again softly, needing to know more.
“Because you intrigue me, Emily Michaels.”
I smile at the use of my full name and think about his answer. “I intrigue you, or my disability intrigues you?”
“Both,” he answers truthfully. “But more you.”
I nod, appreciating his honesty. “And now that you know, are you satisfied?”
There’s a moment of silence. “No, but I have a feeling I could know everything there is about you and it still won’t be enough.”
Something shifts in the humid night air between us, it’s something powerful and something I have never felt before. “I want to see you, Ryder. Will you let me?” My heart thunders wildly while I wait for his answer, scared for his rejection.
“Yeah, Em, you can see me.” He encircles my wrists and raises my hands to frame his face.
Moving in a little closer, I feel my way to the top then run my fingers through his hair, and it surprises me how soft it feels. “Your hair is longer than I expected,” I muse as I reach the ends, which brushes over the top of his ears. Starting at the back of his neck, I begin lightly dragging my fingers across his rough jaw, feeling light stubble. “Your jaw is square and strong,” I state softly before moving up to his eyebrows to trace the slight arch. “Your eyes are dark green.” When I feel him tense, I can no longer keep a straight face and bust out laughing. “Cece told me.” I hear him grunt, unimpressed, clearly not finding me as funny as I find myself. “Oh come on, you have to admit it was funny.”
“Hilarious,” he replies dryly, which makes me laugh even harder.
“Okay, sorry, I’m done now,” I lie as a few more snickers escape me. Composing myself, I continue my path and trace the length of his nose, feeling a small bump. “Is this visible?”
“No.”
I nod then drag my fingers down to his lips. They’re warm and softer than I expected. I spend extra time tracing the outline of them, and try really hard to picture what they look like.
Suddenly, a low growl penetrates the air. “Emily, I’m trying really hard to do the right thing here, but I’ve decided I don’t give a fuck what’s right anymore.”
My breath catches in my throat, his husky tone sending a shiver of awareness down my spine. “What do you mean?” I blurt out stupidly, knowing exactly what he’s saying.
His warm hand cups the side of my face as his thumb brushes over my bottom lip. “I want to kiss you, Em. I’ve been fucking dying to know what you taste like.”
Oh god. I want that so bad too, but I’m also scared. I have a feeling I am way out of my league here. “Okay, but I must warn you, I’m probably not going to be any good at it.”
I feel him falter. “Are you fucking telling me that you have never kissed a guy before?”
I nod; I refuse to count Kyle forcefully shoving his tongue down my throat a kiss. I know that probably makes him want to back away now, but I felt like I had to be honest. “I’ve been really sheltered from the outside world, unless it’s political parties I’ve been forced to attend. And any guys who I’m forced to associate with do not appeal to me.”
“But I appeal to you.”
It’s more of a statement than a question but I find myself answering anyway. “Yes.”
I feel him move in closer, and my heart thunders in anticipation for what’s to possibly come. “I guess that’s lucky for me then.”
Before I can question that further, his warm lips suddenly brush mine and I gasp, feeling the soft touch through my entire body. His mouth is demanding, yet gentle, and when his tongue lightly licks the seam of my lips I open and grant him the permission he seeks. A whimper escapes me at the first sweep of his tongue, his incredible taste flooding my senses.
Releasing a deep groan that reverberates against my lips, Ryder’s hands move to my hips, gripping them firmly before lifting me and bringing me over to straddle him. My fingers weave through his hair as our mouths create a heated passion, our tongues stroking and exploring one another intimately. I never thought my first kiss would feel like this. That it would feel so natural, and that it would reach the very depths of my soul.
“I knew you would be the sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever tasted,” he mutters against my lips before pulling back and trailing his hot, wet mouth down the column of my throat.
I take in lungfuls of much needed air, and want to tell him how good he tastes too, but can’t seem to form words. All I can manage is an incoherent moan while I tilt my head to the side to give him more access. My body comes alive with sensations I’ve never felt before, a foreign ache starting between my legs. My hips start moving on their own accord and I whimper, the hard feeling of his erection giving me the friction I so desperately crave.
“Fuck, Em, we have to stop.”
“Why?” I ask breathlessly, not liking that idea at all.
“Because I’m close to fucking losing control and I don’t want to fuck this up.”
I pull back slightly, keeping our faces close while the sound of our heavy breathing mingles in the silent night. “And what is this, Ryder?” I ask softly, wondering if it means anything. After everything Cece has told me about him, it’s very possible this does not mean the same to him as it does to me.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I’m only at school for one semester then I’m leaving for college.” Disappointment crushes me, knowing that he’s only here for a few months. “I’m not going to lie, Em, I’m not the kind of guy that thinks past the first night with anyone.”
I swallow past the hurt clogging my throat when I realize I’m no different to him than anyone else, but I should have known better. I’m just about to push away from him when I feel him reach up and cup the side of my face. “But, for some reason, you’re different. I know I should stay far away from you but I don’t think I can, not even if I wanted to.”
His confession has relief and pleasure embracing my heart. I lay my hand on the side of his face and trail my fingers over his lips. “I don’t want you to stay away from me. I like you, Ryder, and I like being around you.” I’m not sure I should have revealed that quite yet but I’m not someone who has ever been good at hiding my feelings.
“Me too, baby,” he replies, calming my doubt. Grabbing my wrist, he places a soft kiss on the inside of my palm before laying it back on his face. The whole gesture warms my heart.
“My parents won’t ever be okay with this,” I whisper sadly. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but they won’t.”