I believe it.
“You seem different,” Logan says, bringing me out of my head.
“Uh . . . Thanks?”
“It’s a compliment,” Connor chimes in.
“Okay . . .” I say slowly.
“You’re okay,” Logan says.
“Yes,” I say, answering him, even though it wasn’t a question.
“I’m glad, baby girl.”
I want to tell him everything about the affair with Jax, but I don’t. I promise myself that I’ll tell him truth when he comes back. That’s when I’ll seek answers to my missing memory.
Logan yawns loudly. Holy hell. I’m tired just looking at him. “When’s the last time you slept?” I ask.
He waves me off.
“I’m serious, Logan. You need to sleep more. You need to take better care of yourself.” The fear of losing him overwhelms me and I force the tears away. Which is a new thing for me. I never have to fight this hard not to cry. It’s inconvenient, to say the least.
“Relax. I’ve just been putting in more hours to make sure everything is ready for our meeting. Once the deal is finalized, I promise I’ll sleep for a week straight.”
“Not good enough,” I say while I stand up to leave.
“Ad—”
“No.” I gesture at Connor. “We’re leaving.” I point at my brother. “And you’re going to bed.”
Connor seems like he’s about to protest, but I glare at him, making his words die on his lips. Logan gets up and hands my purse and jacket to me.
“Thanks.” I tap my foot at Connor, who nurses his beer on the couch.
“Fine.” He sets down the Corona. “You win. Let’s go.”
He gives my brother that one-arm-hug thing guys do. “Meet you at the airport.”
“Don’t be late,” Logan says sternly which makes him laugh. Connor is never late.
“I’ll miss you,” I tell my brother as we embrace.
“I’m only going to be gone for two weeks.”
I nod, words escaping me. I don’t want him to leave. I know it’s two weeks, but it feels like a lifetime until I’ll see him again. Two weeks and hopefully I’ll find out the truth. After giving Logan one more hug, I leave his penthouse with Connor. The second the elevator door closes, Connor interrogates me.
“Any plans with the hot doc while we’re gone?”
“Nope,” I say, which isn’t a lie.
We don’t have plans. Well, anything set. I have plans to ambush him at his apartment tonight, but that’s not a set plan. So technically I’m not lying.
Connor nods. Then with a tight smile he asks, “And plans with the best friend?”
“Harper?” I ask, needing to make sure. I sense we’re not talking about my best friend, we’re talking about his.
“Not your best friend. But when you see that little fire cracker, tell her I said hi.”
I stare at the closed elevators door. I can’t tell him what’s going on with Jax. If I do, he’ll tell Logan, and Logan won’t leave. He needs to leave. I need to figure this out on my own.
The elevator reaches the parking level and we walk to his car. Opening the passenger door for me, Connor remains silent. I’m hoping that the subject is dropped. Even thinking about it makes me cringe.
Connor waits until we’re on the road, heading the short distance to my place. “Jax . . . any plans with him?”
“Nope,” I say, not wanting to go into details.
“Have you guys talked lately?”
“Yup.”
Connor doesn’t give up, he keeps pushing. “About . . .”
Keeping my eyes on the road, I decide to confide in him. He isn’t a stranger. This is Connor. If I can’t talk to him, then I don’t know who I can talk to. Besides, he might have unexpected insight on Jax.
I look at him then turn away. “How much do you know?” I ask, squinting to spot the stars in the night sky. I can’t see any because of the city lights.
“A little of this . . . A little of that.”
I force my hand to stay in my lap even though I really, really want to smack him across the head. Just once. “Connor,” I warn.
I can feel Connor’s eyes on me, but I don’t face him. I can’t. If I do, I’ll lose my resolve, and ask him about my blank past. I need to ease into that.
“I know pretty much everything that’s been going on lately. Even before Jax said anything, I knew there was something go on.”
“What did he say?”
When Connor doesn’t answer right away, I scrutinize him. His features are serious, all traces of humor gone. I know instantly that I made the right choice to talk to him about this. I should have done it sooner. Maybe things could have been different. I squash that idea. No matter what he says, it won’t change anything. Jax is keeping something from me. I can’t forgive him.
“Let’s get a beer,” he says, opening his door. It’s then that I notice we’re stopped.
When Connor comes around to open my door, I start to tell him that it’s fine, we can talk about this when he returns from his trip, but he interrupts me.
“We’re both going to need a beer to handle this conversation.”
I nod, knowing he’s right, but I still make an attempt to stay in the car. “You do realize you have a flight to catch tomorrow?”
Connor pulls me out of the car. “You do realize that I’m going to be sleeping the entire flight, right?”
“Fine,” I say as I follow him into a little pub.
We’re at one of my favorite pubs in New York. It’s about a block away from my place so I’ve always been able to walk a short distance to grab a beer. The boys love it here, too. I need to bring Harper here. I make a mental note to call her tomorrow so that we can come here and talk about everything that happened last night.
This pub is the perfect place for something like that. It’s crowded to the point where you won’t be overheard, but quiet enough where you don’t have to yell. Other than a few lamps attached to the walls near the tables, the only real lighting in the place is the bar. Three huge lighting fixtures hang from the ceiling above it. The glass wall behind the bar gives the illusion that you’re the only one in the place when you’re sitting at a table against the wall. Which is exactly why I choose a table near the back while Connor goes to order our beers.
Connor returns with two beers and two glasses of clear liquid in shot glasses, and shoots me a smile when I glare at the shot glasses. He knows I’m not a shot drinker, I’m barely a drinker at all.
“No.” I say at the same time Connor says, “Yes.”
“No.” I say when he places my beer and the offending shot in front of me.
Ignoring me, Connor downs his shot and waits for me to do the same. I don’t. Which just makes him smile even wider. “One shot for one secret,” he prompts and wiggles his eyebrows at me.
“Shots for secrets?”
He nods and pushes the shot closer to me.
“Do I get to ask the questions?”
He shrugs. “If you want to, but I don’t think you’ll ask the right question.”
I eye him while coming up with a plan. I have to tread lightly. “Fine, first shot you tell me something you think I want to know, and the next one I ask the question I want to know.”
“How many secrets do you want the answers to?”
“I only need one.”
He leaves without a word. A few minutes later, he rejoins me with two more shots. He lifts the first glass and clinks it to mine. I gulp the vodka down, my insides feeling like they’re on fire the entire time. I can feel the burn all the way down to my stomach.
I gulp down half my beer. “Start . . . talking,” I wheeze when I can finally find my voice again. I hate vodka.
“Where would you like me start?”
“How about with the secret I just earned from that shot.” Any amount of patience that I have has disappeared.
“Jax has started seeing—”