Kohen is always the responsible one. Why wouldn’t he pack his charger? But I don’t understand why he would lie to me, either. Something isn’t right.
“I just said I didn’t,” he snaps.
I decide to drop the charger thing. It’s not that big a deal. It’s definitely not worth arguing about and setting him off before our weekend even starts. I’m so over fighting. Fighting with Jax, and the war with myself wondering if I should be here or not, is exhausting.
“Did the text go through to Logan and Harper, though?” I ask with forced lightness in my voice.
“It should have. Why?”
“Just wondering. I got a text from her before my phone died, asking where I was.” It’s my turn to shrug.
Kohen turns around with the same smile on his face, but it seems forced. Weird. “You can use my phone if you want to check that they got it.”
I’m tempted to take him up on the offer, but I feel like it’s a trap. To see if I trust him enough. I decide to let it go. I can always use his phone tomorrow to call Logan and ask how his flight was. Yeah, I’ll do that. It’s not like I can call him now since he’s on a plane and I can’t call Harper since I don’t have her number memorized. Something that I’m going to have to do in the future in case this happens again.
I wave off his suggestion. “No, it’s fine. I’ll check in with Logan tomorrow.”
Kohen nods and carries our plates outside. I grab the glasses of wine that he’s already filled. I take a sip while I follow him. Walking up to him, I kiss him on his cheek for his thoughtfulness. He managed to pick up my favorite wine and prepare one of my favorite meals. Pesto pasta with roasted tomatoes. Yum.
“It’s perfect,” I tell him as I sit down.
“You’re perfect.” He captures my hand and kisses my palm.
I don’t even bother to correct him as it will just cause a fight between us. Like it usually does whenever he calls me perfect. I’m so far from perfect, it’s laughable.
Chapter Thirty-Two
I curl up closer into the warm arms around me. They squeeze me tighter. I’m afraid that I’m dreaming so I keep my eyes firmly shut. I’m in Jax’s arms again. I don’t care about the repercussions of being here with him. If I’m dreaming, I never want to wake up. I want to forget about the secrets and be happy in the arms of the man I love. Eyes still tightly closed, I turn around so that I can snuggle into his chest. Inhaling deeply I feel like I’m home.
“Are you really here?”
“Where else would I be, babe?” a voice that doesn’t belong to Jax whispers back.
Immediately my entire body tenses. It wasn’t real. I’m not with Jax. It was just a dream. When I open my eyes, Kohen’s dark blue ones stare back at me. If I wasn’t in Kohen’s arms right now, I would smack myself. I can’t believe that my dream of Jax was so vivid that I carried it with me when I woke up . . . actually I can. Jax isn’t the type of guy easily forgotten, dream or otherwise. I take a couple deep breaths and count to five. I can do this. I can move on. Kohen is changing, he wants to be better for me, for us.
Remembering that I never answered him I say, “I thought you would be up by now.”
“I’ve been up for an hour or so. I just couldn’t get out of bed. I finally have you and I’m never going to let you go.” He squeezes me closer to prove his point. I know that I should find his statement endearing, but I don’t. The way he said “never” isn’t settling well with me.
“Do you want to go on the boat today?” Kohen sits up and yanks me with him so that I’m still using his chest as a pillow.
“I would love to,” I say with more enthusiasm than I’m feeling.
“Great. Then we should start getting ready. There’s a storm coming so we need to be back before it hits.” Kohen climbs out of bed.
“No more sleep?” I complain.
Kohen stops in his tracks on the way to the bathroom. “You’ve slept enough, Adalynn. It’s time to get up now. You might be able to take a nap later when we get back since you’ll be awake all night this time.” He shoots me a warning look before continuing to the bathroom.
Well, I guess someone isn’t in the mood to be playful this morning. Rolling my eyes, I wonder if the tampons in the bathroom are for me or for him. With his moods swings this morning, it’s a tough call. Hesitantly I walk over to the bathroom.
“Do we have any special plans tonight?” I reach for my toothbrush.
Kohen doesn’t answer me at first. He continues to brush his teeth without looking at me. Its obvious that he’s mad, I just have no idea why. He was fine a few minutes ago. If he’s seriously mad about my joke, he needs to get over it. I enjoy my sleep more than anyone I know and that’s not something that’s going to change.
“Everything is special if you’re involved,” Kohen says once he’s done brushing his teeth.
I can’t help the nervousness sinking into my voice when I ask, “Well, is there anything special for tonight since you just said you want me awake?”
If he’s hinting that he wants to take our relationship further, I’m out of here. That is not going slow and it’s not what I want. Even though taking our relationship to the next level might help me wash away my feelings for Jax, I can’t. I’m not ready and it wouldn’t be fair to Kohen since there’s a good chance I’ll be picturing Jax which is so not how I’ve imagined our first time.
Kohen marches over to turn on the shower. He takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself, I think. Again, I have no idea what’s going on. All I asked was a simple question.
“I would just prefer that you don’t pass out on me again.” He strips out of his gym shorts, steps into the shower and closes the door.
Feeling guilty that I’m ruining our morning and the only day we’re going to be here, I contemplate joining him in the shower. I know it’s not my fault for how he’s acting this morning. If I’m enough for him, I should be able to snap him out of it and make him happy.
Chewing my lip, I lift my shirt, but stop before it even grazes my belly button. I don’t want Kohen to see me naked for the first time pissed at me. Deciding to let him calm down, I change into a bikini and a pair of shorts, despite the chill in the air. I’ll make us breakfast and call my brother while waiting for everything to cook. Perfect game plan. I steal Kohen’s phone and head down the stairs.
In the kitchen, I press the home screen on Kohen’s phone. I frown. It’s password-protected. He’s never had one before. I know the easiest thing would be to ask for the password, or to at least wait for him to come down here. I do neither. The easiest way is always the most boring. Hmm . . . My finger hovers over the screen. I can’t think of anything to guess. I doubt it’s his birthday . . . which I don’t even know. I try mine instead. I’m not surprised when it vibrates in my hand, informing me that I didn’t crack the code.
I set his phone on the counter and start making pancakes. There’s a lot that I don’t know about Kohen. That isn’t soothing since I’m trapped here with him until tomorrow when we go back to the city. I need to make a point of getting to know him before we return. This is our make-it-or-break-it vacation.
I’m not tip-toeing around someone I’m in a relationship with, I’ve done enough of that with Jax. If I continue to have this sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach, I have to end it. Kohen isn’t the type of guy to use as a rebound. He’s the plan-your-future-with, marrying type of man. I can’t even say who I see in my future. Before I always saw Jax, but now it’s just me. Alone.
I jump a good three feet in the air when Kohen startles me. “Why is my phone down here?”
“Breakfast is almost ready.” I ignore his question.
His sandy brown hair is still wet from the shower. A few drops drizzle down his wet hair and onto on his white pull-over. I start to feel hot. My reaction to the sight of him takes me by surprise. My mouth waters, imagining what he’ll taste like if I lick up the water. I swallow loudly.