“If you’re going to lie to me than at least come up with a better excuse!” I shout.
“It is the truth! I’m not lying to you. I’VE BEEN FUCKING BUSY! Get over yourself, ADALYNN!” he shouts right back at me.
“You’re not lying? Go fuck yourself, Jaxon! If you have enough time to take a shit you have enough time to send me a text to ask how my day was or respond to one of the millions texts I’ve sent you!”
Jax takes two long strides and gets in my face. I can feel the anger rolling off him. I know he’s about to lose that self-control he’s so big on. Good!
“Don’t try to act all high and mighty, Adalynn! Talking is a two-way street! You can’t blame this all on me!”
“You’re right, talking is a two-way street. Too bad you NEVER PICK UP YOUR PHONE! It’s kind of hard to carry a conversation with myself.”
Jax pulls out his phone. “Really, when have you called me lately? I don’t see any missed calls from you, princess!”
Do not kill him. Do not kill him.
“Don’t you dare try to turn this around on me!”
I yank his phone out of his hand and throw it at the wall. His phone shatters. Well I guess I’m going to have to settle for killing his phone.
“Are you crazy!” he shouts at me at the same time I shout, “I have called you! I’ve given you every chance in the world, Jax. Repeatedly I’ve tried to fix us, but I can’t do it alone!”
“Maybe I don’t want to fix this, ever thought of that?”
I’m too shocked to say anything. I clutch my stomach as if he punched me. His verbal abuse isn’t over, he’s just getting started.
“The world doesn’t revolve around you, Adalynn!”
“I know that!” I snap.
“Then act like it!” he shouts back.
“What are you talking about? ”
“Nothing, forget it.”
“No, I will not forget it! If you have something to tell me, then say it!”
Jax rubs his hand over his face. His voice is once again calm when he speaks. “Let’s just talk later, we both said things we didn’t mean.”
“We’ve said things we didn’t mean? Really? What did I say that I didn’t mean? We’re not friends since YOU have been avoiding me. I want our friendship back. There’s nothing I said that I didn’t mean, Jax. So please don’t put words in my mouth.”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I ask.
He doesn’t say anything at first. He gazes around the room. I know before he opens his mouth that it isn’t good since he can’t even look at me.
“Us,” Jax finally says.
“There is no us, that’s the point! You’ve been avoiding me so what exactly can’t you do anymore, Jax?”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know. It’s that little voice in my head that I was always afraid of. I know without a doubt what he’s about to say, yet it doesn’t make it easier.
“There isn’t a friendship to fix because we’ve never been friends.”
My throat is suddenly dry, but I manage to choke out. “We’re not friends?”
“No.”
The absoluteness in his voice helps me find mine again, “No? What am I to you?”
“Logan’s little sister.”
I land a perfect punch to Jax’s jaw. I’m so pissed I don’t feel pain in my hand. I’m not even satisfied when Jax stumbles back and I see the split lip. He rubs his jaw and wipes the blood on his shirt.
“All those nights I let you in my bed.” I yell, remembering our time together. “I gave you my virginity! None of that means anything to you?” I shove him as hard as I can. “After EVERYTHING, that’s all I am to you! Logan’s sister! After all those times I patched you up when your dad beat the shit out of you, all I am is Logan’s little sister!”
I desperately want to hurt him how he’s hurt me. My body is screaming at me to hit him again, but it won’t change anything.
“You’re pathetic! Get out!”
“Ads, let me explain,” he pleads.
I push him towards the door. He needs to leave now. I don’t want him to see me crumble. I can’t let him know how much he’s killing me. I bite my lip to keep from begging him to not do this to us. The pain helps center me. I square my shoulders as I turn to face the one man that has the power to destroy me. And he just did.
“My name is Adalynn. Don’t call me, Ads again. We’re not friends, we have never been friends. I’m just your best friend’s little sister, remember?”
“I’m so—”
My eyes blaze as I dare him to utter another work. I don’t need his apology. I need him to leave.
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear you’re sorry. You came over and said what you had to say, now you can leave.” I snap my hand out for my key. “Give me my key, please.”
He had said the one thing that I always feared he would say. He must sense that he might get hit again because he sighs and reaches into his back pocket. My hand trembles as he sets my key into my hand. It feels like this, us, is finally over.
Jax spins on his heel and walks to the door. He hesitates before opening it. He rests his forehead on the door and sighs. After a few seconds, he finally opens it. I let out the breath I was holding. I was sure he was going to say something. Wishful thinking.
I can’t believe he’s just going to walk out. After everything, this is how it ends between us? I grip the door handle and glare at the one person I thought would always be here for me. I never thought he wouldn’t be in my life. I thought I could always count on him. I guess I was wrong.
“I’m glad I can finally see the person you really are. I could never be friends with someone like you. So thank you, thank you for finally showing me your true colors.” I slam the door in his face.
I slide to the floor. The rage from seconds ago starts to disappear. I feel empty without it, without Jax in my life. I rock back and forth, hitting my back against the door. Slamming myself into the hard wood. I wince from the pain and stop.
Closing my eyes, I replay everything that happened. I wish I could have done something different, said something different, to have Jax still in my life. It’s unimaginable pain hearing the one thing you always feared was true. No matter how I look at the situation, I don’t think I could have said or done something to change his mind.
I finally get off the floor and pick up Jax’s broken phone. I throw it away. I know he’ll have his assistant replace the phone in the morning. I wouldn’t want to go buy a new one and pretend everything was normal between us.
My phone chimes in my bedroom. When I pick it up, I see that it’s Kohen.
Kohen: Hope I don’t wake you, but I wanted to tell you as soon as possible. I can’t make it tomorrow. I have an emergency surgery I can’t get out of. I already called your brother so he knows that I won’t be taking you and he can pick you up instead.
I slap my hand over my face. I forgot about the fundraiser. I’ll have to face Jax tomorrow. I will have to pretend like he didn’t just shatter my heart. I won’t let him see how devastated I am.
I need to get myself under control if I have any hope of confronting Jax tomorrow. I close my eyes in an attempt to calm down. Immediately I see Jax’s face when he told me I’m just Logan’s little sister. My mind won’t stop replaying it.
I don’t even care that Kohen can’t make it. I would’ve been a terrible date because the only thing occupying my mind would be to stay calm and not show Jax how I feel. Kohen does not deserve the back burner.
Tomorrow night is going to be hell.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Are you two ready yet?” Connor asks from the other side of my bedroom door.