Cursing myself for not pushing the subject this morning, I fidget with the straps of my practice suit. I can’t stay still. I’m itching to fumble into my bag for my phone and text Jax, but I don’t want to in front of my brother.
“How did you get home?” I ask instead, pretending that I’m not scared shitless.
Jax didn’t sneak into my room last night. Every night I make sure the house alarm is off and that my window is unlocked, just in case he needs to sleep over here. When he’s here, I can take care of him and know that he’s okay. When he’s not, I always think the worst. I always imagine him bloody, broken on the floor, unable to move. I usually don’t get any sleep, and if I do, I have nightmares.
“Connor.” Logan focuses on his phone again.
“Hmm, well I haven’t seen him since this morning when he stole my last yogurt.” I try to act like I’m not worried so that I can get to my room as quickly as possible. “I didn’t see him at school at all, but I hardly do unless I eat lunch with you guys. I just thought you guys went off campus for lunch. Have you called him?”
“Huh?”
“See that shiny thing in your hand? It’s called a phone. Use it. Call Jax,” I snap at him.
Logan doesn’t know things about his best friend that I do, but still, he should realize something is wrong if Jax wasn’t at practice. Jax never misses practice.
“I did. No worries though, Addie, he’ll text me when he’s feeling better.”
“Feeling better?” I squeak out.
Logan rubs my wet hair. “Don’t worry, you won’t get sick before your meet this weekend.”
Forcing myself to laugh, I just nod. Jax getting me sick was the last thing on my mind.
“Okay, well, tell him I hope he feels better.” I move towards the stairs. “I’m gonna jump in the shower. I didn’t have time after practice since Mom had to go pick up Hads from ballet.”
He nods. “Connor is gonna bring over something to eat since the parentals have that charity thing. Want to watch a movie with us?” he asks while he texts away on his phone.
“No. I’m just gonna eat in my room then go to bed. I’m pretty sure Coach is trying to kill us with all the in-n-outs we had to do today.” I don’t even wait for a response before dashing up the stairs to my room.
I’m tearing into my bag as I reach the top of the stairs. As I near my door I’m already calling Jax. It goes straight to voicemail.
“Call me when you get this . . . I’m worried,” I say as I open my door.
I lock my door before turning on the light. I scream when I see a pale Jax sitting on my bed, head in his hands. He lifts his head and gives me a weak smile.
“Hi,” he whispers.
“Ja—”
I hear Logan running up the stairs.
“What’s wrong Addie?” Logan asks on the other side of my locked door.
Jax winces as he tries to get up. I hold up my hand to tell him to stay put. He doesn’t move again, but he doesn’t take his eyes off my door, either.
“Sorry, I thought I saw a spider,” I call with a false laugh.
“Thought you saw a spider?” Logan asks.
“Yeah, but it was just lint. I’m gonna jump in the shower then I’ll be down to grab some food.”
“You’re lucky the guys weren’t here. I don’t think Connor and Jax would ever let you live that down. I thought somebody was in there trying to kill you.”
I force myself to chuckle again. Logan’s steps drift away and when I can’t hear him anymore, I sigh.
“That was close,” Jax says.
Putting my hands over my face, I force myself to take deep calming breaths. “We need to tell someone,” I manage to say when I finally lower my hands.
“I have five more months left and I’m free.”
“Jax, I can’t keep lying. You could die!” I plead with him.
He attempts to stand but he’s too weak. “If you do, I’ll lose everything.” I know he’s talking about college. A new life for himself, out of his father’s shadow. “I can’t risk going into the system. The beatings aren’t as bad anymore.”
I hate that I agree with him. On some messed-up level, Wyatt has lightened up since Jax has gotten older. He’s not the easily beaten child anymore. Wyatt saves his punishments for when he can unexpectedly lash out at him. Usually with some sort of weapon to make the beating that much more severe. Jax used to suffer from the lick of Wyatt’s belt, now it’s from anything that Wyatt can find.
My anger disappears when I realize the extent of his pain. I shuffle towards him and decide not to push the subject.
“Ever heard of a cell phone?” I ask.
“Yeah, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jax says quietly.
“You didn’t.”
Jax raises an eyebrow.
“Okay. Fine. But in my defense, I wasn’t expecting to walk in here with you in my bed.” Jax gaze sinks to the rug. “Which brings us back to the the whole cell phone thing. Where’s your phone, Jax?”
“Left it at home. I didn’t have time to grab it this morning. I barely had time to grab my car keys.”
Forcing myself to remain calm, I ask the question I’m dreading to have answered. “What happened?”
Wincing, Jax turns around and carefully lifts his shirt. At first I think Jax’s back is covered in sparkles. Then I see the blood. Not sparkles. Glass.
“How long?” I ask, already flying towards the first aid kit I keep safely hidden at the bottom of my closet.
After the first night I found Jax, I realized that I needed to get my own first aid kit that had more to offer than a range of Band-Aids. Plus, I’m pretty sure my parents would’ve noticed if our medical supplies kept disappearing. Walking back to Jax, I attempt the one-eyebrow thing that he does so well. By Jax’s smirk, I don’t think I pulled it off.
Gripping the tweezers, threatening, I say, “I can either be really nice or I can be really rough.”
“I can just have someone else do it,” Jax bluffs.
I call his bluff. Waving my hand towards the door I say, “Go right ahead, I’ll even lend you my first aid kit.”
I know he won’t go to anyone else which will mean that he will just suffer. I’m about to say never mind when Jax lets out a big huff of air.
“Fine. This morning.”
I busy myself with the tweezers. This morning. Okay, that’s better than what I was thinking. I was thought something happened last night and that’s why he didn’t come over, because he couldn’t. At least he was safe last night. I hope. Jax sucks in a breath when I get closer to him.