I grabbed my phone and sent a text to Kace.
Jett: Send Pepper up to the Bourbon Room.
Pulling my tie off, I thought how I didn’t need Goldie, I had four other pussies to choose from, well technically two, since I respected Tootse and Francy’s relationship. I was going to make sure I reverted back to the man that took what he wanted because I couldn’t get attached for many reasons and reason number one, as much as I hated to admit it, was so I could protect the girl who dug her nails into me. I had to protect Goldie from my dad and I had to protect myself from Goldie.
***
When I walked into the Bourbon Room, Pepper was standing naked, in the middle of the room, with her hands behind her back and her chest puffed out just like I wanted. As I walked toward her, I took in her body, her beautiful body but to my demise, there was something missing, a spark that ignited a fire in my bones. I ignored the lack of spark, even though a voice in the back of my head was screaming she wasn’t Goldie.
“You pleased me tonight, Pepper.”
“Thank you,” she replied as she looked straight ahead.
“Do you have something to say to me?” I asked, like always.
She nodded and met my eyes. “What are you doing Jett? You don’t want me up here, I’m not the one you want, the one you need.”
Even though she practically knocked the wind out of me with her comment, I held my composure together.
“Funny Pepper, I don’t remember asking for your opinion.”
“You should have seen the look on her face, Jett. She was devastated.”
“She knows the rules,” I gritted out.
“Yeah, but do you? You led her on yesterday. What was she suppose to…”
“Enough,” I cut her off, as I ran my hands through my hair and paced the length of the room. “I don’t want to fucking hear this. Now, are you going to submit or not?” I was losing my cool and fast.
Pepper was silent for a moment as she waited for me to stop pacing and look up at her. I caught my appearance in one of the mirrors on the back wall and was disgusted with myself. My clothes were disheveled, my hair was a mess and my eyes were hollow.
“Do you want me to submit?”
No, I thought as I took in her body, but my mind was telling me I had to say yes. I had to take Pepper in order to get the thought of Goldie out of my head, even though deep down, all I wanted to do was go to her bedroom, wrap my arms around her and kiss her head until she fell asleep. Fucking maneater.
“Yes,” I said hoarsely, as I looked down at the ground.
I felt Pepper walk up to me and lift my head to look her in the eyes.
“I don’t believe you and I refuse to submit to you when your mind is thinking about someone else. I don’t need this room Jett, but Goldie does. She needs you, more than you will ever know.”
“I can’t give her what she wants…ever.”
Pepper shrugged her shoulders. “That’s not my problem.” She grabbed her robe, wrapped it around her body and walked out of the Bourbon Room, leaving me frustrated, anxious and beyond confused.
I couldn’t give Goldie what she wanted, as if I actually knew what she wanted. For a brief moment last night, I caught a glimpse of her yearning for something more, but she tamped it away quickly before I could fully freak the fuck out.
I hated to admit it but Kace warned me, the arrogant fuck. He told me Goldie wasn’t like Pepper and Babs and, fuck, was he right. Pepper and Babs lacked the emotional connection that normal women usually carried around when it came to sex. I hoped that Goldie was the same way, but by the way she looked at me last night and from what Pepper just told me, she was not lacking in emotional attachment at all. She had a full dose of it.
Fuck. I ran my hands through my unruly hair and tried to comprehend how to handle the situation I was in. By no means did I want Goldie to leave. No, I wanted her to stay more than anything, but how did I keep my distance? Especially when she was creeping slowly but surely under my skin.
My phone beeped as I walked back to my office irritated and ready to plow my fist through a wall. I took a look at my phone and read the text message that came in.
Rex Titan: Better get ready to lose everything…once again. You thought you could take her away from me, but little do you know, she has always belonged to me, just like Natasha.
How did he know it was Goldie? That was my first fucking question. Was she in contact with him while she lived under my roof? The thought of Goldie still being connected to Rex while sleeping with me had my pulse skyrocketing. Furious, irate, violent weren’t even good enough words to describe the way I was feeling.
I started typing out a response to the asshat, but then stopped myself. That was exactly what Rex wanted, for me to fly off the deep end. I had to make it seem like I didn’t care, even though there was a burning need running through my fist to punch Rex directly in the nut sac. My phone beeped again.
Rex Titan: Oh, and don’t bother with Lot 17, your dad and I have it covered. Not only will you lose Goldie, but you will lose your property as well. Let me know what it feels like to be the low man on the totem pole…again, dickhead.
I clenched my teeth as I refrained from tossing another piece of furniture across my room. Instead of responding, I put my phone down and headed for my shower. I needed to step away, take a deep breath, and figure out how the hell I was going to fix the cluster fuck that my life had turned into ever since Goldie entered it.
Chapter Thirty Eight
“Somebody That I Used To Know”
Goldie/Lo
The floor of the Toulouse Room was getting harder and harder as I continued to sit practically bare-assed on it, legs crossed with my head in my hands. It had been three long days of no Jett, countless lap dances, and the pain of my parent’s death anniversary hovering over my head.
Flashes of my parent’s lifeless bodies amongst the devastation from Hurricane Katrina kept running through my mind, making me feel ill for the better part of my days. The thoughts were not only affecting my ability to perform, but also my ability to just wake up in the morning. Luckily, my phone was programmed with five different alarms, so I didn’t miss anymore practices or workouts.
I found zero enjoyment lately in anything I did as I walked around the house aimlessly, feeling numb to the world. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t from Jett neglecting me; it was from my parent’s anniversary, but deep down, I knew it was a combination of things. A combination of no sex, no Jett, and no unconditional love that every girl needed, or at least I did.
Comfort, that was what I wanted and I knew I wasn’t going to get it through anyone, at least no one in the Lafayette Club. I thought about the meeting I was supposed to have with Rex today and the thought of his warm arms wrapped around my body; it had me thinking that maybe I could go just to see what he had to say, just to find comfort in an old friend.
I felt a warm presence kneel next to me, but I didn’t look up. I didn’t want to because, whoever it was, I didn’t want to talk to them. All the girls were back in their rooms, preparing for tonight, so that only left two people, Jett and Kace. Neither of whom I wanted to talk to because Kace was an ass ninety-five percent of the time when he was around me and Jett, well, he had turned completely cold since our date night.