“Corneille said that ‘love and reason are sworn enemies.’ Don’t let your fear of what could have been affect what you two have.” Usually in the past when my dad deals advice, he allows me to process it and handle things on my own time. He’s still leaning forward, looking at me patiently, waiting for me to respond.
“I can’t believe Kendall called you!”
He gives me a slight smile and shakes his head. “She didn’t. Max came by last night to help me replace the transmission.”
“He told you what happened?”
“I think he’s having a really difficult time and was looking for some advice on how to heal things with you guys from someone that knows you, and has disappointed you before.” His brown eyes focus on mine before he continues. “He loves you, Ace, and if you’re not ready, or aren’t able to get past this, I’ll support you, but I think he’s genuine when he says he loves you. And I believe him when he says he has no feelings for this other girl. I don’t want you to throw away a good thing because you hit a speed bump. Relationships are going to have their ups and their downs, but if you can’t forgive and ride out the bad, you’re never going to get the really great.” He lifts his dark eyebrows at me.
I drop his gaze and set my pen down, running my fingers down the spine of my text book. “I’m nothing like her, Dad. She’s beautiful, in a really high-maintenance, plastic surgery, ‘I don’t know how to open my own car door’ sense.”
“That’s what you’re worried about?” His tone makes me feel like I’m being ridiculous and childish arguing that my half is smaller than his. I shrug, keeping my eyes on my fingers so I don’t have to see his expression.
“Sometimes I really wish you could see yourself through my eyes, or Max’s, so you had just a fraction of an idea of how special you are.”
“You’re my dad,” I protest.
“Yes, I am. And I’m very proud to be your dad, Ace, but even if I wasn’t I’d still be able to recognize what a remarkable person you are. It kills me that you doubt yourself so much. If there was one thing that I wish I could change about you it would be your confidence in yourself because you have the potential to do amazing things, but if you continue to doubt yourself, you’re always going to prevent yourself from making the leap from amazing to extraordinary.”
I take a deep breath and glance up at him to see his eyes focused on me. “It wasn’t easy for him to come talk to me. He looked terrified when he said another girl kissed him. He had no pride during the entire conversation. It was sincere, and I think he’s pretty hurt and afraid right now.”
I sit up and shove my books and note cards back in my bag. “I’ll see you next weekend, Dad.” I climb out of the car and walk around to where he’s standing with a proud grin on his face, one that reminds me of the look he used to give me when he’d come to my soccer games and gift to me after I pulled off a particularly difficult maneuver.
“Thanks for the advice,” I say softly and press a kiss to his cheek before I turn to leave.
“I love you too, Ace.”
“I love you too.”
Max’s Jeep is thankfully the only car in the driveway as I arrive. I slowly ascend the stairs, feeling my heart beat more intensely with each step that I take toward Max’s closed bedroom door. I reach for the handle and allow the door to swing open fully before I step inside, silently cursing myself for not knocking and making such a dramatic and bizarre entrance. I look around, taking in the fact that the room is still pretty messy, but not nearly as destroyed as it had been earlier this week.
His bathroom door opens and Max steps out with a towel wrapped around his waist. His torso’s still damp from showering as he looks at me with shock and hesitation marred on his features. It’s obvious he’s thinking the worst from the distance I’ve worked to create.
“Ace, are you—”
I cross the few feet between us and press my mouth against his before he can finish. I feel his surprise as he hesitantly kisses me back, and I wrap my arms around his neck and push up on my toes to deepen the kiss. He becomes responsive nearly instantly, lacing his hand through my hair up to the back of my neck as his other falls to my waist. His fingers clench as my tongue traces his, and we kiss until my lips are numb.
We stare at each other for a long moment. “God, I’ve missed you.” He breathes, threading his fingers further into my hair.
“I don’t fully understand your relationship with her. It intimidates me that she’s known you for so long, and that you guys have such a history. I think I just—” I let out a deep sigh while rubbing the hem of my shorts between my thumb and forefinger as I divert my eyes to look over Max’s shoulder, looking for something to focus on while he reads my soul.
Max’s hand slowly unravels from my hair and slides along my jaw, stopping at my chin where he gently clasps and turns my head so my eyes return to his. “You just what?”
“I don’t know. It scared me, Max. It really scared me. It still does … I mean, I’m nothing like her.”
“Why are you afraid?” he whispers.
“Because obviously you cared for her if you guys dated off and on for years; there was something bringing you back to her. And when I see her, all I see is everything that I’m not. I mean the dress, the eyelashes, the inflatable pool toys she calls her chest.” Max laughs and wraps the hand holding my chin back to my neck and brings his other hand up to cup my face as I stare into his sapphire eyes.
“I’ve never cared for anyone the way that I care for you. It scares me, like nightmare inducing scares me, how much you could hurt me,” I admit quietly.
“How do you not see it?” His thumb softly brushes my cheek as his eyes warm, turning a brilliant blue. “Ace, I know. I know who you are, and that’s why I love you. I love that you will throw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and go out in public with me. And I love that you have a ridiculous number of old shirts that you wear without a care in the world, because even when you’re wearing them with jeans, you’re always the most gorgeous girl in the room.” His face tilts closer to mine, his eyes shifting between mine before his head shakes slightly.
“I don’t want you to be like her, and I’m not just talking about the way that you look, because even if she was as beautiful as you are, I still wouldn’t be with her. That’s why we kept breaking up. We were trying to force a circle through a square. We never fit. She never knew me. You.” Max’s head shakes again as his eyes close. When they open again they settle on mine. “You know me. You know me better than anyone.”
“You’re so much more than she is. Everything about you is what I want. Your brilliance, your sense of humor, your heart, the fact that you can’t stay awake through an entire movie … all of it is what makes me love you more every single day. Converse shoes and all, it’s you that I want. It will always be you. I can’t go back, not now.”
“What about the boobs?”
Max laughs, shaking his head. “I choose you, Ace. Only you.”
I lunge at him, kissing him again with all of the love and strength that he’s just bestowed upon me.