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I am old, he says.

The woman opens herself up to hold the man. She feels his body tremble slightly. You are doing all you can for the interest of China, she says gently. Would you pay the price if there is one?

The man says yes.

You are stubborn.

It was our marriage vow.

I haven't forgotten. She lays her head on his chest. I swore that I would proudly collect your head if you are slaughtered for your belief.

Fear gives way to courage. The next day the Lius convey their fears to Deng and the rest of their friends. The cold air is now in everyone's lungs. Some members begin to plan their escape while the rest wait.

I am alone with my husband. He sent for me and only me. To be with me is his way of rewarding me. He expects me to appreciate it and I do. Six months ago I was crying, What's the body that is empty of a soul?

I am fifty-two years old and I have a spiritual marriage with Mao.

Outside there is a symphony of crickets. Tonight it sounds magnificent. Mao and I sit facing each other. The tea is getting cold, but our feelings have just warmed up. It's past midnight and he is not tired, nor am I. He is in his robe and I am in an army uniform. It doesn't matter what I wear now. But I still come carefully dressed. I want to resemble the way I looked back in Yenan.

In the rattan chair he sits like a big ship stuck on the rocks. His belly is a carry-around table. He rests his tea mug on the "table." His face is getting puffier. His spider-web wrinkles spread out. His eyes are much smaller now. The lines on his face have become feminine. All are beautiful to me.

You have done a terrific job in keeping me informed, he says, lighting up a cigarette.

I tell him not to mention it. You have my loyalty forever.

My colleagues call me a madman. What do you think?

Stalin and Chiang Kai-shek used to call you the same thing, didn't they? It's part of the hysteria-your rivals are jealous of your dominance. But the truth is no one saves China but Mao Tse-tung.

No, no, no, listen, you've got to listen to me, something is happening. I am not the man you used to know. Come and sit by me. Yes, just like this.

We chat. He tells me of his long waking nights. How he suspects an ongoing conspiracy. He describes his horror of not being able to control the situation. It crystallized when he returned to the capital. When he saw that everything was in order-his absence of five months caused no stir-he panics. You see, Liu has proved to the Party and the citizens that he can run the country without me.

He stops talking. I need to be left alone now. Oh, wait. On second thought, don't go. Stay and finish your tea.

He sits back down. Yes, this is what I am going to do. Got to place an order… Are you with me, Jiang Ching? Come closer. There are voices inside my head. I can hear Liu ask what his fault is, and I can hear myself replying: I simply can't sleep when I hear your footsteps walking around my bed.

I wait until my husband finishes his monologue. What do you think? he asks again. He looks at me eagerly.

I can't come up with a response. I have lost my concentration. I begin to improvise my answer. I speak in my usual style. It is your vision that will lead China to greatness. I say that the hostility is part of the business. Conspiracy comes as a package of high power. I smile. Anyway, dear Chairman, we are here to celebrate living.

I feel rather out of place. His mood suddenly changes. I am tired, he says. You have to go now.

I bid him good-bye and walk toward the door.

Jiang Ching, he calls, getting up from the rattan chair. Do you believe that we are capable of driving people to the horizon of a great existence?

Yes, I reply. We will grow a tremendous red honeysuckle and populate the sky with it.

The next morning Vice Chairman Liu visits Mao in his study. Liu is not only anxious but nervous. Mao greets him warmly. Mao jokes about his trip. Liu is affected by Mao's humor and lightness. He begins to relax. But when they sit down, Mao's tune changes.

It was a rather sad scene when I got off the train, Mao begins. School gates were closed. There weren't any people in the streets. The mass activity used to be like bamboo shoots in spring-shooting up in good spirits. But it is out of sight now. Who has put out the wildfires? Who has repressed the students? Who is afraid of the people? It used to be the warlords, Chiang Kai-shek and the reactionaries. Mao makes a motion striking his arms and speaks loudly. Those who repress the students will end up being destroyed themselves.

Vice Chairman Liu is stunned with disbelief. Mao becomes a stranger in his eyes. Painfully Liu questions his own ability and judgment. He can't imagine Mao being the organizer of the coup d'état of his own government.

***

Student Kuai Da-fu from Qinghua University has become a national Maoist icon. He has proven himself a talented organizer. He has grown taller since I last saw him. When I point this out to him, he is embarrassed. It makes me like him even better. His behavior reflects my effort. Kang Sheng says Kuai Da-fu is my pet. I can't disagree. The young man needs help in building self-confidence. I tell Kuai Da-fu that he shouldn't worry about being inexperienced. Chairman Mao started his rebellion when he was the same age. I praise Kuai Da-fu and encourage his every step. You have a true understanding of Maoism. You are a natural leader.

I like to watch Kuai Da-fu when he speaks to his fellow students. Part of his attractiveness comes from his awkwardness. His face turns from pale pink to red and then blue. He doesn't know enough, but he tries hard to be taken seriously. He has turned eighteen today. To put gas in his ego tank, Kang Sheng goes out of his way to help. He follows Kuai Da-fu and shouts slogans. He shows the crowd that Kuai Da-fu has a direct connection to Mao.

The boy is near the sun. The boy is golden. The students long to be given the same power and respect as their leader, Kuai Da-fu. The eager ones have already set themselves up to get noticed. Their names are Tan Hou-lan from Beijing Teachers University, Han Ai-jin from Beijing Aviation Institute, Wang Da-bin from Beijing College of Geology and the forty-year-old little-known literary critic Nie Yuan-zi. They each lead their schools and work hard to please Madame Mao Jiang Ching. Like hundreds and thousands of bees swarming to attack an animal, they try to kick the Work Teams off the campuses. There is resistance. The Work Teams insist on setting the classes back in order. Fights break out while the tension continues to mount.

Appointed by Vice Chairman Liu, the head of the Work Teams, Yelin, stands firm. Although he has released Kuai Da-fu from house arrest, Yelin has gone to Liu and Deng and obtained permission to criticize Kuai Da-fu as a negative example. While Yelin begins his public criticism, Madame Mao Jiang Ching and Kang Sheng come to Kuai Da-fu's rescue. Without notifying Yelin, Jiang Ching and Kang Sheng call up a student rally and demand that the Work Teams disperse.

Yelin begins to understand that the fight is not just between him and the students. Higher powers are involved. Something he has refused to believe is happening. To avoid confrontation, Yelin leaves the campus and goes to hide at the headquarters of the People's Liberation Army, where he originally came from.

Kuai Da-fu is determined to live up to Madame Mao Jiang Ching's expectation. He has organized a student body into an army called the Jing-gang Mountain Group. The students proclaim themselves soldiers and sing "Unity Is Power" day in and day out from campus to campus. They are joined by thousands of other students from outer provinces. The Jing-gang Mountain Group is now a 600,000-member organization with Kuai Da-fu as its commander in chief.