“Busy. We’re getting ready for a show at the gallery. Have you spoken with Isabel? She’s agreed to supply four paintings, but I haven’t been able to get in contact with her. I think she’s still mad at me.”
Sawyer smiled. Isabel had initially set the two up and she had voiced her displeasure with Sonya’s decision to put things on hold and her less than enthusiastic attitude toward all things BDSM. Isabel was protective of him and though it was often annoying at times, it was also nice knowing that she cared. Of course, it was her protective nature that had gotten her into the whole mess with her father over a year ago.
Sonya’s voice became distant as he recalled that horrible night again; Isabel confronting her father and the shit storm that came after. He often wondered what would’ve happened if he and Dylan hadn’t shown up that fateful night. That would’ve been an even worse mess to clean up than simply killing Emilio and Simons. As fragile as Isabel’s psyche was, he had no doubt she never would’ve recovered if she had taken the same action herself.
“Are you still there?” Sonya asked, breaking through Sawyer’s thoughts.
“Yes, I’m here. It’s just good to hear your voice. If Isabel agreed to four paintings, I’m sure she’ll follow through with her commitment, but I’ll have her call you to verify.”
“I’ve missed you’re voice, too,” she sighed, her once loving tone gone and replaced by something else; distance and dejection.
Had so much time passed that she had gotten over him already? Feeling forlorn at the thought, he let out a long slow breath.
“I went to the Dark Asylum today.” As the words left his mouth, his nerves tensed.
There was a quiet pause before Sonya responded blandly. “So you went through with it then. How did that go?”
“It was interesting and… educational, to say the least. I learned a lot in one day. I wish you had been there to learn with me.”
“We’ve been through this. I’m not ready for… that. I’m not even sure I ever will be. That lifestyle… it’s just so…” she answered in a grudging tone.
He interrupted before she could say the judgmental words he hoped she would never say. He wanted to live the lifestyle with her… if only she would consider the possibility. “Please don’t, Sonya, don’t do that. Don’t judge.”
“I’m sorry. I’m trying not to. I know how much it means to you. I also know how important Dylan and Isabel are to you. I just hope they’re not influencing you to do something that goes against who you really are.”
Sawyer shook his head. The conversation was turning out to be a replay of what they had discussed months before and the unwelcome tension stretched ever tighter between them.
His voice took on a strong, disciplinarian tone. “I’m not easily influenced, Sonya, and no one can make me do anything I don’t want. But you already know that, don’t you?”
She remained silent, not answering and the chill between them seemed to grow. Damn her silence. It was only one of a few things about her that drove him insane.
“Answer me, please,” he urged her.
“You won’t like the answer I have for you.” Now her voice was curt and patronizing.
“Can we not do this? I just wanted to talk to you; to tell you that…” he debated whether or not to speak his true feelings but remembered what Sarah had mentioned about open communication. “I want you to be a part of my life and this new experience.”
He could hear a soft gasp of surprise on the other end of the phone. “Sawyer… wow.”
Chuckling at her response and also surprised by his own admission, he countered, “Yeah, I know. It’s a lot to take in isn’t it? I’m trying to be more open. It’s one of the things that I learned today.”
“I see. What else did you learn?”
Sonya suddenly became interested and Sawyer cheered up when he detected thawing in her frigid tone. “That I’m not a sadist.”
“Well that’s good to hear,” she laughed incredulously. “Did you ever have any doubt about that?”
“Honestly, yes.”
“Oh. Well… I don’t quite know how to respond to that. Did you ever want to hurt me?” she asked with anxiety in her soft voice.
“No. Did I ever lead you to believe that I wanted to?”
“No. Never. It’s just strange that you weren’t sure.” It was hard not to detect the note of bewilderment in Sonya’s tone.
“If you knew my past, not really,” he stated, suddenly realizing his almost admission.
“I don’t know about your past. You never shared anything. Or have you forgotten about that?”
Reeling from the sting of Sonya’s statement, he shook his head and sighed. “No, I haven’t forgotten.”
He sat wordless, waiting for her next response. He almost wished she would ask about his past so he could be free from his secrets and not be forced to do it on his own, but she didn’t. After sitting for more than a minute in silence, Sawyer spoke with hopefulness in his voice.
“Can I see you? I’d like the chance to talk you into coming to the club with me.”
Sonya let out a heavy sigh and he could hear the sound of her moistening her lips. Would she go? The silence was deafening and his heart sank.
“Maybe. I can’t make you any promises right now, but this new, more open Sawyer is definitely an improvement, so… we’ll see.”
Chapter 4
When the weekend rolled around, Sawyer felt animated despite Sonya’s refusal to go to the club. He held on to the hope that she would soon change her mind. His heart ached at the thought of continuing his journey without her, but he was prepared to do it, no matter how heartbreaking the thought was. He had to. He owed it to himself to explore this part of his life.
New things were on the horizon for him. Even with the possibility of facing a future without Sonya, he couldn’t help feeling optimistic. The last time he had felt this energized was when met Sonya. Before that, it had been years.
He owed Isabel a big thanks for everything she had brought about. Namely the changes she had inspired in Dylan that in turn made him discuss his love for her and his lifestyle choices. It was strange to think of the Dylan before and the Dylan after Isabel. It was two completely different men. He wondered if Dylan realized that.
Also, he owed her a great debt for introducing him to Sonya. Although things hadn’t worked out the way either of them had wanted, Sonya had brought him emotionally back to life and awakened the feelings he had buried alongside his wife.
A gift was definitely in order to convey his deep gratitude. The image of her body hanging from the suspension rig flashed in his mind. He hoped he hadn’t hurt her too badly the previous day when he whipped her. He reminded himself to ask her when he saw her.
Sawyer arrived to work later than usual after stopping to get something for Isabel and found Dylan looking more stressed than usual.
“What’s the problem?”
Looking up from his desk, Dylan’s eyes flickered with annoyance. “You don’t want to know. I knew it was too good to be true,” he commented somberly.
“What is it now?”
“Someone is contesting the disbursement of Emilio’s estate. They want an investigation into his death.”
Sawyer frowned with cold fury. Emilio Ibanez. Again. Even dead he was wreaking havoc on their lives. After his death, it had come out that he surprisingly had no will and so all money and property was to be released to his only living family member, Isabel. The amount his sizable estate was worth was staggering, in the hundreds of millions.
Sawyer quickly became irritated. “Who?”
“A business partner. Fuck, Morrison. We don’t need this kind of stress. Not with us trying…” he snapped his mouth closed and cut his statement short as if he had inadvertently spoken.