He’d realized that Coco was in a difficult position and he knew that she might have to leave the man she loved if he didn’t do something to prevent it. He was beginning to understand his role as a man; that it was part of his job to protect the weak. Maybe he finally understood that when he saw Coco’s reaction when he tried to look at her.
As for Coco, she was able to see that, now that he knew she could never be his mother, Jesse was trying to treat her like a lady—a lady who was living with him and his father. In that instant a great weight lifted from her shoulders, and she was finally able to tell him how she really felt.
“I don’t want to be your mother,” she said.
The tangled thoughts flying around inside her head had formed a single, simple sentence as the words left her mouth.
“I know,” replied Jesse, “I’ve already got a mama. You’re my dad’s girlfriend.”
“And I love your dad.”
“I know that, too, but what I don’t understand is why you like him.
He’s just a damn drunk.”
“Of course you don’t understand. You’re still just a kid. You don’t even have a girlfriend yet.”
“Yeah? Well, maybe that’s because I’m a homo…”
“What?”
“I’m only joking!” he said with a grin. “Oh, shoot, the fire’s gone out already.”
Coco could hardly believe she was finally having a normal conversation with Jesse! She was almost in tears. It was exactly what she had wished for all along. She didn’t want gratitude for her efforts to look after him. And she didn’t want him to love her like his mother. She just wanted him to treat her like a woman.
Coco put her hand on his back as she followed him in from the balcony. He was so skinny that she could feel his ribs and each of the bones in his spine. No love. No layers of hate. Just bones.
Jesse said good night as he went back to his room and closed the door behind him. Then he opened it again and stuck his head out.
“Hey,” he said with a shy grin, “are girls really that great?”
Coco stifled a laugh. He would remember what his dad had told him till he found out the truth for himself.
“You’d better believe it,” she replied with smile. “And men aren’t that bad either.”
Copyright
This book is being published within the Japanese Literature Publishing Program, managed by the Japan Association for Cultural Exchange on behalf of the Agency for Cultural Affairs of Japan.
BEDTIME EYES. Copyright © 2006 by Amy Yamada. English translation copyright © 2006 by Yumi Gunji and Marc Jardine. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
“Bedtime Eyes” (“Beddo taimu aizu”) copyright © 1985 by Amy Yamada, originally published by Kawade Shobo Shinsha in Tokyo, Japan. “The Piano Player’s Fingers” (“Yubi to tawamura”) and “Jesse” (“Jeshi no sebone”) copyright © 1986 by Amy Yamada, originally published by Kawade Shobo Shinsha in Tokyo, Japan.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Yamada, Amy, 1959-
[Beddo taimu aizu. English]
Bedtime eyes / by Amy Yamada; translated by Yumi Gunji and Marc Jardine.
p. cm.
ISBN 0-312-35226-3
EAN 978-0-312-35226-4
I. Gunji, Yumi. II. Jardine, Marc.
PL865.A489B43 2006
895.6"35—dc22
2005052041
First Edition: May 2006
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