“You’re here because Rike is hot and the sex is phenomenal. Don’t delude yourself.”
“The sex is phenomenal,” I say with feeling and she giggles. A real noise that strings hope along me like fireworks.
“Tell me about the wedding,” I say.
Tears fill her eyes and she shakes her head. “I can’t, Peyton.”
“I’m not asking for much, sugar. What colors were you using?”
“Teal and black. My dress was white with a light teal lace overlay and black accents. It was so damn gorgeous.” Her voice cracks and for just a second, I think she’s going to give in. Let me in. Tell me everything that she’s been keeping bottled up and secret. But she takes a sip of her coffee, fighting to get control, and she gives me a watery smile. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”
“Why?” I whisper. “Fuck, Lindsay, he loves you. The kind of crazy, stop-the-world-from-spinning love that people only dream about. Why on earth are you walking away from that?”
“Because it’s the kind of love that stops the world from spinning. And if the world stops spinning, it dies. I don’t want him to get this close to having it all, and then throw it away to take care of a cripple who can’t be what he needs. I refuse to be the reason he doesn’t get his dreams.”
I stare at her, stunned by the fierce passion in her voice. By the pure belief that she’s right.
There isn’t a way to convince her that she isn’t. And she isn’t walking away because she doesn’t love him. Which makes it so much more difficult.
She’s walking away because she loves him too much.
Chapter 27 : Before
“We should go away,” Lindsay says.
I look at her, pulled out of my sketch for just a moment. Peyton is half-asleep, her head on my thigh and my fingers sifting through her hair as I draw.
“Why?”
She looks over her shoulder, at where Scott is banging on guitar strings. He’s been in a shitty mood since we came home from Austin two weeks ago. The waiting is killing him.
I understand. It’s slowly driving me crazy, and I have the tattoo shop and songwriting to distract me. Scott only has the music. It’s always been harder for him.
“Where would we go?” Peyton asks, sleepily.
“My parents’ condo.”
“You know it’s freezing, right?” she asks, a smile in her voice.
“So we wear sweaters and get drunk in the hot tub instead of bikinis and drunk on the beach. Come on. It’ll be good to get out of the city for a while, and we’re on break. It’s perfect.”
Peyton peers up at me, her gaze questioning. She’s been skittish around Scott for the past few weeks, since that night in the club—and he’s noticed, even if he hasn’t commented. Shoving us all into a small condo for a few days will either cure her of that or make things worse.
“It sound fun,” I say and she lets out a tiny sigh. “Fine. When do we leave?”
Lindsay shrieks, a happy noise that makes my ears hurt, and Peyton giggles.
“If we leave tomorrow, we can put up a tree and celebrate Christmas!” Linds says, bouncing off the table and darting to her room. “I’m calling Daddy!”
***
It takes less than three hours to get the condo and for Lindsay’s father to arrange plane tickets—his present to us, and when we argued, the man was having none of it.
I don’t like Peyton’s parents, but as parents go, Lindsay did good.
The girls are darting from room to room, stealing clothes and packing and laughing. Scott lands on the couch next to me, his bag on the kitchen table with mine.
We don’t need much, and pack fast—a skill I learned in the system that I still carry.
“Think it’s a good idea to force Red into this?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? She could have said no.”
“And you could have said the room was taken.”
I go still and Scotty curses. “Dude. You know I don’t give a fuck, but it messes with shit. She isn’t one of the girls we took home from Barrie’s.”
“I fucking know that,” I snap. “She wanted to stay. So fuck off. She’ll be fine.”
He looks at me for a minute, skepticism in his gaze, and I growl softly. “I’m not doing anything that will fuck up what I have with her. You ought to know that. She’s all that matters.”
“What if she doesn’t want this? If the next step is signing with this studio and moving to be closer to the indie scene? You know the five year plan.”
I do. It’s always been the plan—work and build our name in Knoxville before we move to Nashville or Austin.
When we made the plan, it was just us. Two friends with no attachments and big-ass dreams. The girls changed that. I glance at Lindsay as she almost runs past with a sweater and a wide smile. “What about her? Can you let go of her if we leave and she doesn’t follow?”
“Lindsay will. She already knows the plan. She’s known from the beginning.”
I stare at him in shock and he lets out a sharp laugh. “One day, dude, you’re going to stop being a distrustful ass, and start letting people in. You might want to do it before Peyton wakes up and realizes how much you don’t tell her.”
He gets up and follows Lindsay into the bedroom, and I stare at the closed door for a long minute.
Then I stand and walk into our room. Peyton is half in the closet, wrestling a dress off a hanger. She grins at me when she tosses it on the bed, and then stills, staring at me. Her brow furrows. “What’s wrong?”
“Would you move with me? To Austin?”
She blinks, her mouth falling open.
She’s still so fucking beautiful it hurts. And she’s scared. I can see it in her gaze, darting away from mine.
“If this works out, for Scott and me. Would you follow me?”
“Do you want me to?” she asks, her voice shaking.
I move, coming off the bed and catching her around the waist, kissing her hard and fast. “Fuck yes. I love you, Fish. You’re everything to me. I don’t want you to move with me. I want to marry you. I want you with me forever. I want every vacation to be this mad dash around while you giggle and plan. You writing while I draw. I want you to steal my razor and bitch when I touch your coffee and I want every fucking holiday with you. I want everything, Peyton. I don’t even care about the music. I love it, and I love being able to do it with Scott, but if it ever comes down to you or the music, I’m going to pick you. Every fucking time, I’ll pick you.”
She’s leaning against me, her head on my chest, and I can feel her shoulders shaking. When she looks up, her eyes are bright and shiny, but she’s smiling, this brilliant fucking smile that makes my insides ache. “Did you just propose?”
I don’t even think about it. “Yeah. You saying yes?”
“You fucking idiot,” she murmurs, and then she’s kissing me, and every fucking thing in my world is right, because she’s in my arms.
“Is that a yes?” I ask desperately, and she laughs.
“Of course. It’s never been a choice, Rike. I love you—and that means Scott, and everything that come with him. So yes. I’ll move to Austin with you. I’ll move anywhere. And I’ll marry you whenever you’re ready.”
“This weekend.”
She laughs, and she nods before she kisses me.
This. This is the real shit I’ve been chasing for so long. The family I always wanted and never had. The friends in the other room. This girl, in my arms.
This girl. She will always be everything I’ve ever wanted.
Chapter 28 : After
It's
laughter and little
lessons and heartbreak.