What a fuss we kicked up.
Ditzsche was a loner, some said, and a loner isn’t a good advertisement for family holidays. And Ditzsche had been in the Stasi, and thinking of the Stasi puts people off wanting to enjoy social activities. And so on, and so forth, Ditzsche this, Ditzsche that.
But then the ferryman said, “Friends: ten eggs for two marks. That’s a fair price, you won’t get fairer. And you all buy them. On the quiet, but you buy them. And it’s not as if we were going to show Ditzsche on the postcard, just his egg box. The egg box doesn’t have a past history in the Stasi. All of us here know it. It shows that if you make the wrong decisions, if you lose your job and you’re poor and everyone hates you because they all think you were an informer, and you’re too stupid to deny it, it shows, like I say, that if life really kicks your arse so hard that you fall flat on your face, and you have diabetes into the bargain, right, well, all that doesn’t necessarily keep you from selling very good eggs at a fair price.”
The Creative Committee fell silent.
And when its silence was over, we voted on the egg box, but it still wasn’t decisive, three against three. So we asked the photographer for her opinion. That was Frau Kranz, because if you can paint you can also take photographs. She didn’t hesitate long: “Yes, well, the egg box will do, in fact it’s almost original somehow, a colorful, idyllic countryside theme in this bloody dismal road, the egg box is okay.”
That was a little harsh of her, but Frau Kranz is like that. Every two years since then, on account of inflation, there’s been a new postcard showing the egg box left out by Dietmar Dietz, known as Ditzsche, twice orphaned, the loner, the postman who is still suspected to this day of snooping around looking at people’s post, the diabetic whose shirts don’t fit him any more, but he has no money or maybe no inclination to buy new shirts, because his chickens don’t care about shirts and every day could be his last. But Ditzsche wakes up and gets on with life, and we bet everyone will come to his funeral, the egg box will come too, and most of us will really wear mourning, and the egg box will end up in the Homeland House with the rest of the GDR junk, ten eggs: two euros, with the best will in the world you won’t find a fairer price. Recently Ditzsche has hung a friendly-looking plastic hen from the box, by way of decoration.
Sometimes, when you take ten large Uckermark eggs out of the box and leave two euros, or sometimes two euros twenty cents, you can hear the chickens cackling in the yard. If you come to buy eggs at night, you hear music inside the building. It’s like that tonight. Tonight there’s music in Ditzsche’s apartment, and there are shadowy figures behind the curtains, and the soles of shoes moving over the floorboards. Or maybe it’s just the curtains moving. Or nothing moves at all. The music is tango or salsa or merengue, here we’re not so sure exactly what.
THE VIXEN RUNS STRAIGHT ALONG BESIDE THE water. She picks up the scent of an old female human in the water, one she has sometimes met in the old forest. This human animal can stay peacefully in one place for a long time. Humans don’t often act that way. Usually this female’s scent is mingled with other fine aromas that the vixen likes to taste: dyer’s woad, umber and cinnabar and resin. Now she also picks up the sharp sweetness of fermented fruits, the potassium and manganese of tears. Good. Danger doesn’t smell of tears.
The vixen, going farther, soon comes upon a second female human, a large specimen. Close to the place where humans put their dead into the earth, she is walking round three objects on the bank, humming quiet, angry human sounds. The vixen is curious; what’s here? The female human smells of carrots, the objects — three dome-like things — have a scent of tin and copper and a third something that attracts the vixen.
The female human sounds as if she wants to have a fight with the domes, but the domes don’t do anything. The vixen waits. After a while the female goes away. The vixen circles the domes as the female human did, scenting them. Under the metal she scents ways she has already gone. Prey she has killed. Food stolen from containers that were easy to bite through. She scents the fast dog fox whom she lured to her and tricked in the cold time, and who bit the back of her neck and helped her to feed her cubs at first. She let him think that he had tricked her, and it wasn’t her own game and what she wanted.
It’s all there. All the aromas she has ever scented. Including her sister’s last flight and the dogs that she disturbed. The humans’ dogs came so close to the vixen that she could scent their muzzles; they tasted of their masters’ caressing fingers. The vixen fled here to the human colony instead of deeper into the undergrowth. The dangerous humans and dogs were in the forest, they wouldn’t be able to protect their own earths at the same time. She is still alive, her sister isn’t.
Every scent under the domes belongs to a Before. In all of them together, the vixen scents her own survival. It calls her, she wants to free it, she wants to have it for its own sake, she begins digging, wants to get under the domes. The vixen yelps, pants, alarmed and encouraged because under the domes and in the survival there’s a scent that makes her think: me.
She wants to tear herself away, must get to her cubs, the chickens are close, she catches an enticing scent of one of her own kind from the largest dome: a fox, a dog fox. She scents his survival, beginning on the moor in a long-gone Before, how his mother vixen disappears, how two young human males feed him, one of them tall, one short, how he follows them without fear, and they follow him. They hunt together, and he entices a vixen, then another vixen, lives in caves and with the humans in human buildings, and he dies in something made of wood and iron that gives him great pain. The vixen learns with him, conquers with him, fears for him — finally runs away from his lifeless existence.
We are confused. Three bells stand on the bank of the Deep Lake. In the middle is the Old Lady, dark and sturdy. The twins flank her, bright and slender, the two moons of a dark planet. A slight sound is the only illusion; the bells are real. A kilo of copper sells for 5.32 euros. The takings wouldn’t have been bad.
WE ARE SUSPICIOUS. FOR ABOUT THE LAST THREE weeks a young man has been hanging around the village from late at night until dawn. As soon as Frau or Herr Zieschke opens the bakery he comes in to order orange juice and a yeast pastry with vanilla filling. At the tall counter in the corner where you can stand to eat, he folds his hands as if in prayer.
Frau Zieschke, behind the till, straightens her back.
Herr Zieschke leafs through yesterday’s paper.
Not until he has gone do they go into the back of the shop to make sandwiches or do whatever bakers do at the back of their shops.
He wears Adidas tracksuits. A white one with black stripes and a blue one with yellow stripes. Dark dirt clings between the stripes. The shoulder of the blue tracksuit was torn one day, and the skin under it bloody and abraded. Pale, a pale man. His watery eyes are reddened and almost never blink.
Adidas man, people call him.
We know about awkward characters. We know about ruins. We’ve seen dilapidation before and the shame that goes with all that. But we always know what happened before, and talk about why. Now here comes someone in an even worse state, and he stays out until dawn and no one knows who he is, he gives us nothing to talk about.
Orange juice and yeast pastry with vanilla filling.
After eating his breakfast, he sometimes presses his fist into the palm of his other hand, and his whole torso trembles. Sometimes. He. Rolls up. His. Sleeves. Above his elbows. As slowly as that.