Instead, he helped me get dressed, which almost made me ready for round two—until he pulled out the Xbox controllers. I kicked his butt in a Sonic racing game, and afterward, he held me on the couch while we clicked through the channels.
I almost fell asleep in his lap while he stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. It was such a comfort to have him there. I wanted him to stay over but I wasn’t sure if I could ask him, or even if I should.
I had stood naked in front of him and not felt shy in the least bit. Hadn’t even felt the need to hide my stomach or my ass. The way he looked at me with such reverence and passion was something I’d never experienced before. He asked me to watch him while he relished my body, and that was, hands down, the most erotic experience of my life.
But I still didn’t know where we stand or how to define us. I was living in the gray and just trying to enjoy it, but I’d never done that before. Been with someone for the sake of being with them—with no parameters or definitions caging us in.
It felt unnatural, but also, in a way, freeing. There were no expectations about loyalty or communication, and Lord knows that boy could make quite a statement with his tongue.
I was free to do what I wanted with anybody else, really, but the reality was, I didn’t want to. And I knew with an unspoken degree of certainty, neither did he.
And that right there was the difference between Quinn and Joel.
Even though Quinn had no claims on me, my gut told me he wanted me, and this time, I was listening. But something was holding him back. Something in his past that he needed to work through. Someone or something had hurt him, and that made me feel protective of him.
The problem would be letting him go. Defending my own heart would not be easy. If we kept going this way, I’d eventually fall for him. Hard. If I wasn’t falling already.
The team had been on the road and between work and classes, we’d only had time to text. But he was coming home today and my stomach buzzed with anticipation when his text came in.
Quinn: Hey, sexy. Do you already have plans? If not, want to catch dinner and a movie?
Me: Sounds like a plan. I can be ready in an hour.
I jumped in the shower and contemplated what to wear. I decided on jeans and a dressier top with my wedges. This would be the first time we were out in public together, but considering this was a large town, the chances of us running into anyone we knew was slim, unless we stuck to the regular college haunts.
Besides, did it matter anymore? Tracey said that most everyone had figured it out anyway. Although I wasn’t sure exactly what they’d figured out if Quinn and I didn’t even know ourselves.
Avery had come home from work and was changing in the bedroom when Quinn knocked on the door.
“I’ll get it,” she said, pulling her shirt over her head. Mischief blazed in her eyes.
“You rein it in, asshead,” I said, still trying to figure out what to do with my hair. “I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.”
I heard Avery let Quinn inside while I started to tuck my hair up in a messy bun.
“So, is this, like, a real date?” Avery asked. No hello, no nothing.
What in the hell was she doing? She told me to live in the gray and then she went and asked him a so-not-gray question. I knew she was just trying to feel him out, but talk about Holy mixed signals, Batman.
“I guess you could call it that,” Quinn said, his gravelly voice rumbling up my spine and warming me in all the right places.
“What are you guys gonna do when you finally run into Joel?”
“Dunno,” he said. I brushed back a piece of my hair, listening to his reply. I couldn’t help myself. “That motherfucker didn’t deserve her anyway, so who the hell cares.”
My hands stilled in my hair. I hadn’t been expecting that response.
“Good answer,” Avery said. I imagined her folding her arms across her chest like a surrogate parent or big sister or something. “Do you think you deserve her?”
A gasp caught in my throat and I sagged against the sink. I was going to kick her ass.
“I’m not sure,” Quinn said and I sucked in a breath. “But I’m sure as hell trying to be worthy of her.”
Shit. What the hell had just happened? Everything suddenly seemed flipped around. Here I was just going with the flow, living in the unknown, and Avery had turned this into something heavy.
Something I wasn’t sure if I had wanted to hear, because it was too perfect. He was almost too perfect. And if it didn’t work out, my heart was going to have a long recovery time.
Joel had nothing on what Quinn had made me feel in just a handful of weeks.
I closed my eyes and inhaled a lungful of air. I needed to get out there before Avery said anything else to embarrass me. Although maybe I should thank her. Maybe Quinn had been feeling the same thing—this compelling pull to be together. And maybe we should do something about it.
I opened the bathroom door and stepped out. Quinn looked stunning in relaxed jeans, a black fitted T-shirt, and canvas flip-flops. I could even see the manly hair on his toes.
He didn’t have his Titans ball cap on today, and his copper hair was twisted upward in a kind of a modified Mohawk. Like he had run his fingers through the mess before walking out the door.
“Just trying to do something with my hair. Sorry,” I said and then shot Avery a look. She shrugged as if challenging me to be mad at her.
“I like when you wear your hair up,” he said, his eyes gliding over me. “Shows off your cheekbones.”
I felt a blush creep up my face. “Thanks.”
“I’m headed up to five,” Avery said, winking at me. “Have fun, kids.”
She left us standing in the living room facing each other. I realized then just how much I’d missed seeing him all week. I felt like skipping our plans, pulling him down on the couch, and spending all evening groping him.
“So, um . . . any idea what movie you want to see?” he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.
We definitely needed to do more than make out like a couple of teenagers. We needed to do real things, out in public, so we could see how we navigated the world together. What we had in common. How well we could discuss things. “I wouldn’t mind checking out the new Star Trek movie.”
“Really?” he rubbed his jaw as if this pronouncement had made his more confused about me. “Video games. Star Trek. You really did grow up in a house full of brothers, didn’t you?”
“Maybe,” I said. “But remember, I’m the oldest, so I influenced them.”
“Point taken,” he said, holding the door open for me.
When I slid into the leather front seat of his car, I said, “So how’s Fury holding up?”
“Pretty well,” he said, his cheeks lifting into a grin. “But she doesn’t like to park in busy movie-theater lots where people will touch her. So she may drop you at the door while she finds a spot away from the crowd.”
I just shook my head and laughed.
At the theater, we bought popcorn, Milk Duds, and large sodas. After we settled in our seats in the crowded room, I opened the box of chocolate caramel confections and dumped them in the large tub.
“Um,” Quinn said, scratching his chin.
“Sweet and salty—it’s a must-have for movie watching.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously.” I picked up a Milk Dud, flanked it with two pieces of popcorn, and then brought it to his lips. “Here. I guarantee you’ll fall in love. You’ll never watch a movie without them again.”
“If you say so. . . .” He dragged the sweet and salty mixture into his mouth but kept my fingers enclosed between his lips. I held in a gasp while he ran his tongue over my thumb and then sucked on my forefinger before releasing my hand and chewing what remained.