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For a drunk’s next step, all four directions are equally mathematically probable. A dark figure fitting this description approaches us on the sidewalk. Ayu suggests crossing to the other side of the road. “Alcohol is a problem here; people become drunk more quickly for genetic reasons,” she says. The guy staggers away.

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Russian Squat

A squatting position radiating nonchalance in which the upper arms rest on the knee while you gaze seriously into the distance. The body language is reminiscent of hip-hop record covers of the ’90s or shitting in the woods. Suitable paraphernalia includes track pants and bling. Early in 2016 there was a short trend of posting photos of the Russian squat on Facebook and Instagram, but after two weeks the fashion was over, which was one of the better pieces of news in 2016.

I ask her about the reasons behind the propaganda against her minority. “After the collapse of the Soviet Union we wanted independence, but Moscow didn’t approve,” she replies. The powers that be like to flex their muscles here. Like this afternoon. She wanted to attend a Buddhist lecture on altruism, but the Tibetan guest speaker was arrested shortly beforehand. Why he was arrested remains a mystery.

For our evening meal we go to a self-service canteen called Vostok, which is well hidden on the second floor above a supermarket and which I never would have discovered alone. The pelmeni, dumplings with sour cream, taste fantastic and cost virtually nothing. It’s always a pleasure to go with locals to their favorite places.

Back on the street we talk about Schopenhauer and Thomas Mann, about The Tin Drum and Wagner, about Berlin and Dresden. Ayu plans to take some German lessons soon, but she already seems to know more about the country’s culture than most Germans of her age.

“I have a couple of friends in Berlin. There, I like a lot that people who make an effort to become integrated are accepted. Russia, on the other hand, is pretty racist—especially in Saint Petersburg and Moscow.”

The street is gloomy, the asphalt uneven and full of cracks—there are often earthquakes here. There are no streetlights; the only light comes from a few windows. Every now and then a barking dog runs up to us; sometimes we come across men tottering in an uncoordinated manner. But no one bothers us, and eventually we say our goodbyes and catch cabs home. The drunken wrestlers must be elsewhere tonight.

OLKHON ISLAND

Population: 1,500

Federal District: Siberia

OLKHON SHOKOGUN

OLKHON ISLAND IN Lake Baikal is the destination I’ve been most eagerly looking forward to visiting. My private dacha owner, Yevgeni in Novosibirsk, went into rhapsodies about the hiking opportunities there, the photos of the region look stunning, and my host there, Sergei, appears to be particularly interesting—a former investment banker who gave up his job to build an Orthodox church in the village of Khuzhir, where he now rings the bell every day. He also invites large numbers of guests to stay without charge in his self-built wooden house. His story is so inspiring that there are articles about him in the international press. A friend who had been to Olkhon told me of his meeting with Sergei with a glint in his eye.

Unfortunately, one of the cast-iron laws of travel is that it’s precisely the place of which you have the highest expectations that has the greatest potential to disappoint. Like the Paris syndrome (in Japanese: Pari shōkōgun), which describes a heavy depression that affects Asian travelers to France who expect the city of love to be oozing in romance, full of gorgeous women wearing Louis Vuitton dresses and humming Édith Piaf melodies from dawn till dusk, only to discover that it stinks of urine and tourist groups are not greeted with open arms.

The journey from Irkutsk takes six hours in a minibus, the interior of which is skillfully padded with foam so the roof and sides resemble a recording studio. Further clues to the driving style and the quality of the road are provided by the many cracks and small holes in the windshield and the multitude of saint figurines dangling below the rearview mirror.

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A Twitter account that, with pitch-black humor, pokes fun at Russia, its propaganda, and at “Russia’s” American president, Donald Trump. It displays photos or short videos with titles like “Putin: Russia against censorship outside Russia,” “Russians are safe from invading NATO forces” (the photo shows vehicles stuck in deep mud), or “Putin: Russia is investing heavily in hi-tech products, e.g., cereals.” The platform has more than fourteen thousand followers, nearly a tenth of the number that follow the original Sputnik.

A small car ferry transports the bus across the deepest lake in the world; the water is a vibrant turquoise and the sky slightly cloudy. My first impression of Olkhon is that its greenish-yellow hills and happy cows remind me of the Shetland Islands. The good news is that the dirt road to Khuzhir is rough, but less rough than I expected. The bad news is that Sergei is not there. “He’s in France at the moment,” says a young man, who is presumably his son, as I arrive at the address Sergei had sent me when he confirmed my couchsurfing request. It’s great that he offers me accommodation in his absence, but a pity that I can’t meet him personally.

There’s a mattress prepared for me in an army tent of about 130 square feet pitched on a green area next to the church. It smells of methylated spirits and instant noodles, and apart from me there are a travel blogger couple from Finland, a geologist from France, and three Russian backpackers. There’s room for all on other mattresses in the tent.

In the local corner shop, I witness the attempts of a group of Chinese tourists to explain to the vendor that one of them doesn’t want to buy all of the specially priced pack of four fruit yogurts, but only a single one. This leads to considerable communication difficulties: the grumpy lady at the counter doesn’t want to split the product; the customers don’t understand why. Paris syndrome in the house?

The majority of visitors to the island come from China, which is astonishing as the island doesn’t fit the usual criteria for vacation destinations. Tourist research surveys claim that the vacationing Chinese are mostly interested in luxury stores, high-class hotels, and good wireless reception. You can forget about all of these in the dusty Wild West town of Khuzhir; most of the guest rooms don’t even come with a shower. “But in all our schoolbooks they tell us that Lake Baikal is beautiful,” a tourist from Chengdu tells me, adding: “And there’s a popular Chinese song about it, too.” Investors have already noticed the potential; on the southern shores of the lake, at Baykalsk, there are plans for a modern tourist paradise specifically tailored to the needs of guests from the Far East. A pool of Chinese companies headed by Chungjingxin are planning to invest an incredible US$12 billion in the project; this amounts to twice the cost of building Disneyland in Shanghai.

At sunset, everyone gathers for the photo op at Skala Shamanka, a craggy rock extending into the lake that local shamans believe to be the home of the god Khan Gutababai. They’ve decorated a number of poles with colorful materials to make things a bit prettier for the holy resident. They say that people who come here should only have clear and positive thoughts, because everything is amplified here. Well, that’s really great; I’m still annoyed about missing Sergei.