‘The Workers’ Federation’s Dare-to-Die Squad went to repel the troops in the east. I’m sure most of them have been killed by now.’
‘If my binoculars hadn’t been smashed, I’d be able to see what was going on over there,’ Chen Di said. He’d lost his powerful army torch too.
The sound of gunfire intensified on all sides. The student standing next to me had spent some time in the army. ‘Those shots are from automatic rifles and machine guns,’ he said authoritatively. ‘The troops are firing horizontally into the crowds. Only a few of them are shooting into the air. They must have killed a lot of people by now.’
It felt as though we were standing behind the scenes in a theatre, overhearing the noisy commotion taking place on the stage. The students and civilians listened to the gunfire, clutching their masks, waiting for the soldiers to flood onto the Square. A few couples had wrapped themselves tightly together in blankets and had lain down on the ground to sleep. Friends were helping each other pin their student identity cards to the insides of their pockets. Foreign reporters and press photographers gripped their cameras, but didn’t know where to point them. In the spot where I’d gone to block the armoured personnel carrier, I could see a bus in flames. Thick clouds of smoke swirled up and scattered into the night sky. Several armoured personnel carriers and tanks were now zipping back and forth along Changan Avenue.
My fingers remembered the warmth of Nuwa’s blood. Mou Sen’s blood was already cold by the time I touched it. Were those two people really no longer alive? I still couldn’t accept it. I knew Tian Yi must have arrived at the hospital by now. Even if she’d wanted to return to the Square, she would have had difficulty breaking back through the ring of encirclement. I knew she would live, and that I would perhaps end up dead, like Mou Sen. For a moment, I considered running away, but the thought filled me with shame.
‘Go and fetch Wang Fei,’ Hai Feng said, arriving with Shao Jian and Cao Ming.
‘We’ve just received some inside information that General Secretary Zhao Ziyang wants us to stay here until dawn,’ Cao Ming said. ‘If we stand our ground, the reformers will be able to regain the upper hand. Don’t forget, Zhao Ziyang is Deputy Chairman of the Central Military Commission as well as General Secretary, so he has some control over the army. But we need to give him time to mobilise his troops.’
‘All right, we’ll stay in the Square,’ Lin Lu said, forgetting that only Bai Ling could make this decision. ‘Make an announcement asking everyone to form a human wall. There are 10,000 of us here now. If the soldiers want to drag us out one by one, it will take them at least until dawn.’
‘We can’t stay here,’ I said. ‘The north-eastern corner of the Square has been sealed. When the troops arrive from the west, they will launch the crackdown.’ I still didn’t dare mention that Mou Sen had been killed.
‘Yes, we must leave,’ Zi Duo concurred, rising feebly to his feet. ‘I don’t care whether the information you received about Zhao Ziyang is true or not. You have no right to put the students’ lives at risk!’
‘This discussion is for members of the Defend Tiananmen Square Headquarters only, Sir,’ Old Fu said. ‘You aren’t entitled to take part.’
‘We’ve spent the last three weeks debating whether to leave or stay,’ Shao Jian said, his usually mild voice rising in pitch. ‘We must come to a decision now!’
‘Hou Dejian and I want to speak to the martial law troops,’ Zi Duo said. ‘We’ll ask them to give you time to vacate the Square.’
‘You must return to the campuses and keep the flame of your movement burning,’ Hou Dejian said, walking over. ‘You can’t just sit here and wait for them to arrest you.’
‘If you go and negotiate with the army, you’ll be on your own,’ Old Fu said. ‘You can’t speak on behalf of the Headquarters.’
‘The army has already pulled down the Workers’ Federation’s tent,’ Tang Guoxian said, squeezing over to us with Zhang Jie. ‘The north side of Changan Avenue is packed with martial law troops now.’
I pulled Tang Guoxian to the side and whispered in his ear: ‘Mou Sen’s been killed.’
‘I heard he was hit by a bullet and was taken to the emergency tent. He’s dead? My God…’ His expression froze in disbelief.
I looked over at Tiananmen Gate and saw thousands of soldiers pouring out from the black arch beneath Chairman Mao’s portrait. Reflected firelight flickered across their metal helmets. The fires blazing in the distance looked like funeral pyres burning in a graveyard.
After the god Zi You was killed by the emperor, he turned into a maple tree. A red snake lies coiled beneath the tree, keeping watch over it.
‘… I beg you to sign the contract. I have an invalid wife at home who’s waiting for me to bring her some medicine.’
‘I’ll only agree to move if you give me the same compensation my neighbours received. Why should I be punished for my son’s mistake? I’ve devoted my life to the Party, and now that I’m old and frail, they want to take away my flat. So much for their so-called “Three Represents” policy…’
‘It’s not easy being a relocation officer. I only earn a base salary of three hundred yuan a month. I have to rely on my bonuses to get by. If you sign this contract, my job will be done and I’ll leave you in peace…’
‘You’re wasting your time. I’ll never sign it. If they attempt to drag me out of here, I’ll throw myself off Tiananmen Gate, or I’ll jump out of this window.’ When my mother’s mind is clear, her voice becomes much louder.
‘It’s not like the old days. The government won’t forcibly evict you. But think things through. If you stay here over winter, how will you survive without water, electricity or heating? And besides, the Hong Kong developers have promised to offer you a reward if you agree to move out in time…’
‘You’d better go now. My phone is ringing…’ She pushes the officer out of the door, then answers the phone. ‘Hello! Really? That’s wonderful. Congratulations!… The compound is being pulled down. All the roads have been blocked off. Most of the residents have moved out… I don’t know yet. The new flats around here are so expensive…’ I don’t hear the phone click after my mother hangs up. She probably hasn’t put the receiver down properly. I hear her mutter, ‘What’s wrong with that girl? She’s about to marry her foreign fiancé, but she’s still thinking about you. That’s so bourgeois!’
That must have been Tian Yi on the phone. She will be marrying her boyfriend this Christmas.
When my mother leaves the flat these days, she often ends up sitting outside for hours. If anyone asks her what she’s doing, she’ll say, ‘I’m going to the airport. I’m just waiting for a car to pick me up…’ In the afternoon, she’ll forget what she did in the morning. She has locked herself out of the flat several times. She tells people she is going to move to England, and is just waiting for her visa to be issued. She often mixes up Master Yao and my father, and asks why every man she’s known has ended up in jail. She says that her dead father’s soul has laid a curse on her.
Sometimes she comes over to me and says, ‘I’m going to look at a flat. It’s got three bedrooms and two bathrooms…’ Before she leaves, she makes me a bowl of maize congee and sprinkles some dried shredded pork over the top. Then she inserts the feeding tube into my nose, attaches the funnel to the end and pours the congee in. When the bowl’s empty, she mutters, ‘I know you’re only pretending to be dead,’ or ‘I’m going away with your father now. He’s taking me to America to meet his old college friends…’ Sometimes she says very softly, ‘Look at your skin. It’s much smoother. That’s a sign you’re going to come back to life again soon, my son…’ Then she says goodbye and leaves.