“Shut the door,” Jett said as I felt him come closer.
I coiled up farther, as small as I could go because right now, I didn’t want him near me, touching me. His touch was deadly to me. With one touch, he had the ability to make me forget all his past transgressions and do whatever he wanted.
The soft click of my door rang through the room, letting me know that I was fully alone with Jett now. The bed dipped as he sat down next to me, but I continued to look away. I didn’t want to see him and I didn’t want him to see me like this. I was a pathetic mess.
From the touch of his hand to my back, I recoiled away from him, trying to stay as far away as possible. I needed to avoid his heated touch; it was the only way I would be able to stay away, to keep my distance.
“Goldie, please talk to me.”
The only noises escaping me were the little sobs that wouldn’t stop, that kept drenching my pillow until it felt like the entire thing was soaked.
“Goldie, please…”
Nope, nothing was coming out, even if I wanted to. I completely lost it. Everything came tumbling down as I cried harder into my pillow. The strong confident woman I once was, was long gone and in her place was a meager woman whose life revolved around a man’s touch. There were glimpses of the real me every once in a while but there was something about Jett that made me crazy, that made me into a different person that needed him so damn bad that if I didn’t get all of him, I turned into a repressed, pathetic mess.
Jett’s weight lifted off the bed and his footsteps retreated. More tears fell as I thought about how easily he was giving up. He could have at least fought a little harder, maybe explain himself. But that wasn’t the stoic man’s prowess, nope he walked away when things got tough and he never opened himself up so why would he start now?
I sucked in a deep breath as I prepared for a long night of overthinking everything I did to deserve such treatment and trying to decide what to do in the morning.
Just when I was gearing up for a long night full of tears and heartache, Jett’s silhouette stood in front of me and what I could see from my vantage point was he’d lost his tie and jacket and unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his smooth and muscular chest. He wasn’t playing fair.
He sat down on my bed, and slid down next to me so our faces were inches apart and our bodies were feeding heat off each other.
His hand gravitated toward my hair and put it behind my ear, revealing my bloodshot eyes. Luckily, Babs was nice enough to wipe my makeup off so I didn’t look like a crazed melting lunatic. I was still in my dress but my shoes were on the ground, along with my purse and phone.
“I’m so sorry you had to hear me say those horrible words earlier,” he spoke softly, as if it actually pained him for what happened.
Irritated with him, I tried to turn away but his strong hands stopped me.
“Please just listen to me, Goldie.”
Not saying anything to him, I stayed still and waited for him to continue. I was actually interested to hear his reasoning, to see how he dug himself out of this hole.
Pressing his hand against my face, he made me look at him and that’s when I lost it because I wasn’t looking at the strong man who dominated the bedroom and exuded confidence everywhere he went, no, instead I was staring into the eyes of a confused and lost man who looked like his heart was breaking in half.
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to will the image out of my mind but there was no use, it was engrained in my mind, he was engrained in my mind.
“Goldie.” His voice rang out tight, as if a vise was closing in on him. “Please look at me.”
Mustering all the courage in my body, I opened my eyes and stared into his pools of deep blue that were laced with regret.
He exhaled and gripped my face with both hands.
“You’re fucking annihilating me right now. Seeing you like this, it’s gutting me, little one.” I tried pulling away but he stopped and looked down at my neck. His fingers grazed my necklace as he swallowed hard. “You’re still wearing it.” His gaze went back to my face, showing a broken down man, it was too much to take in.
“Goldie, I want you to know that what you heard was so far from the truth. I can’t get into it too much because I will not allow you to get wrapped up in my fucked-up world but that man I was talking to would do anything to bring me down and he saw my weakness, he saw right through me and I had to deflect him, make him think differently.”
“Your weakness?” I croaked out, my eyes growing heavy from crying for too long.
“You Goldie, you’re my weakness and he saw that.”
“How?” I sniffed.
Caressing my face gently, he said, “By the way I held you, looked at you, worshipped the ground you walked on. He saw it all and he fucking called me out on it.” Jett pulled away, frustrated with himself.
“What does it matter?”
Turning back toward me, he answered, “Because he is dangerous…”
I huffed and tried to turn away again but he stopped me and pulled me back in his direction.
“I’m not fucking kidding,” he warned. “He is a desperate man who would do anything and I mean anything to get what he wanted, even if that meant harming you. He wouldn’t think twice about it.”
The concern in his eyes made me realize that he was serious and not bullshitting me for his own benefit.
“Does this have to do with Lot 17?” I asked, trying to piece everything together.
“I don’t want to get into that right now.”
“That means yes,” I interrupted.
Ignoring me, he continued, “What I want to talk about is what you heard and how everything about it was a lie. You’re everything to me, Goldie. Slowly, you have widdled your heart into mine and have stolen every part of my body. You own me, Goldie, and there is no one that I want more, no one that I want to hold more and no one that I want to wear my necklace more than you.”
A stray tear trickled down my cheek as I blinked away others.
“Why is it so hard?”
Rubbing my face with his thumbs, he said, “Because my life is so messed up that I just had to drag you into it because the moment I saw you in the cemetery, I couldn’t walk away. So now you have to deal with my bullshit emotions, my inability to be the man that you need and horrible people in my life who want nothing but my money and power.”
“You’re so much more than that,” I confessed, as I watched the strong man I once knew continue to crumble into a pile right in front of me. No wonder he kept this side away from me for so long, it was gut-wrenching to see him so emotionally drained.
Shaking his head, he pulled away a little and looked at something over my shoulder, like he was contemplating. “There is so much you don’t know that I’m terrified to tell you and I know you need to know, to understand me, but I can’t, I just can’t, especially with everything that is going on.”
“I understand that but you not telling me is slowly tearing me apart. If you only warned me tonight, I could have been prepared for what you said.”
“I didn’t think I would run into him there,” Jett stated agitated with himself. “He wasn’t supposed to be there.”
“Well now that I know, I can be prepared for next time.”
“There won’t be a next time,” he stated without hesitation.
I sat up and looked down at him. He avoided all eye contact with me.
“What do you mean there won’t be a next time? Don’t you have other events you have to go to? Don’t you have some more ass kissing you have to do?”
“Yes, but you’re not going.”
“Because of one asshole?”
The bed rocked as Jett sat up straight and looked me dead in the eyes. “What are you not getting about this? He is a dangerous man, incredibly dangerous and has no problem getting rid of someone to get what he wants. I swore I would do anything to protect you, to keep you safe and I will live up to that. You’re not to go to any events and you are to stay in the club until further notice.”