“For this. For you. For everything.” That wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say, because I was struggling with words.
Paul wasn’t. “Let’s get a picture, then I need to bandage it.”
As Paul used Phoenix’s phone to take a few shots, and I did, too, with my own phone, I suddenly knew what I wanted. Phoenix had been wanting to practice his own tattoo skills but hadn’t been able to. Now was his chance.
“Phoenix, I want that little bluebird on me.” I wanted a visual reminder of him on my body, just like I was on his. “Can you do it?”
“What?” he asked, looking startled. “Are you sure? Where?”
My first thought was over my heart, but then I would never be able to see it. “Here.” I pointed to the inside of my wrist. “Tiny, like the charm on the necklace. Quarter size.”
He nodded. “Okay. If it’s okay with Paul. Can I borrow your equipment?”
“Sure, Birthday Boy. Since you won’t let any of us buy you a beer or a shot.” Paul shook his head at me in mock sorrow. “Who ever heard of anyone turning down a free drink on his twenty-first birthday?”
“She doesn’t drink either,” Phoenix told him, as Paul covered his tattoo up with white gauze.
It felt a little conceited, but I was sorry to see my portrait covered up. I couldn’t stop staring at it in awe, and I looked down at the image captured on my phone.
“Then I guess you two are perfect for each other,” Paul said.
“Damn straight,” was Phoenix’s opinion. He patted the table. “Have a seat, babe. I’ll draw up the bird.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Not the drawing,” Paul told me with a grin.
Paul was about thirty, with tattoos all over his arms and his neck. He was wearing a Slayer T-shirt and cargo shorts. It seemed to be the uniform of choice in the shop, which made me feel more confident about the gifts I had bought for Phoenix for his birthday. I had basically bought out the classic rock T-shirt section at Hot Topic, knowing he had been existing for weeks with only two shirts, one pair of shorts, and one pair of jeans. He wore the same shoes every day, so I had consulted with Tyler and bought him a pair of black Converse high-tops.
“Shut up,” Phoenix said. Then to me, “Yes, it hurts. Do you want Paul to do it instead so I can hold your hand? The good thing is it’s so small it will take less than ten minutes.”
Could I be brave for ten minutes? “I’ll be fine, then. I want you to do it.”
“I can hold your hand,” Paul offered with a grin.
Phoenix pulled his shirt back on and gave his coworker a glare.
“Kidding.” Paul made a funny face at me. “He doesn’t have much of a sense of humor, but I guess you already know that.”
There was some truth to that, but I wasn’t with Phoenix to have someone cracking jokes for me all day long. His sense of humor was quieter, like mine. “I have better things to do than laugh when I’m with him,” I told Paul.
Phoenix grinned. Paul let out a bark of laughter.
Feeling pleased, I sat down on the table, letting my feet swing loosely as they moved around me, doing their thing. Paul was pulling out ink and a fresh needle. “Do you want color?” he asked.
The one on Phoenix was just in black, but I wanted an actual blue bird. “Blue, please.”
Phoenix held up a drawing for me. It was a tiny, chubby, absolutely adorable bluebird. He let it hover over the back of my wrist. “Like this?”
“That’s perfect.” I touched his thigh, tucking my hand into his pocket, just wanting contact. It seemed like I could never touch him enough.
“Don’t do that when I’m tattooing you, babe,” he said with a sexy smile. “You’re damn close to what I would consider a major distraction.”
My nipples went hard, and I sucked in a breath. My thoughts hadn’t been going in that direction but now they most definitely were.
“Oh no.” He pulled my hand out of his pocket and set it on my thigh. “Don’t look at me like that. I still have to work for another three hours.”
“Yeah, don’t look at him like that,” Paul said, standing up. “I’m single and you’re making me jealous.”
“No, she’s not setting you up with any of her friends,” Phoenix said before I could respond.
“Did I ask?”
“I think all my friends have boyfriends.” Even Helen-Marie and the two other girls I had clicked with in the digital arts club were dating guys.
“I really was kidding,” Paul said. “No worries.” He pointed at Phoenix. “Don’t fuck this tat up. I’m going to grab a bite to eat.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Phoenix gave me a searching look. “Do you really want me to do this?”
“You can, right?” I was sure he could, but I didn’t want to force him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with.
“Sure. This is an easy piece. But I can’t say I love the idea of hurting you.”
“As long as this is the only time,” I said with a smile. “Or the only way, I should say.”
“It is. It will be.” He touched my chin with the latex glove he had pulled on. “Do you want to watch or close your eyes?”
“I want to watch.”
He laid the image onto my skin and rubbed, then pulled it off. The black outline of the bird was there, looking adorable. “He’s so cute.”
“Don’t say like me,” Phoenix said. “Because I won’t believe you. Okay, first touch. Take a deep breath and let it out. Relax.”
He bent over me, and the buzzing increased. I couldn’t help it, I let out a hiss at the first contact.
Holy shit. That hurt. It felt, well, like a needle being dragged through my flesh.
“You okay?”
“Yes?” I didn’t say that with a huge amount of conviction, but then I looked down and watched the black line tracing over the outline of the bird and I saw that he had already done one wing and the bottom. It clearly wasn’t going to take too long, so I could deal.
He wiped away the splatters. “I’ll go as fast as I can while still making it look good. Though it is distracting to be doing you . . . I’m not usually attracted to my clients.”
“Don’t make me laugh. I don’t want to move my arm. And you can be doing me later. It is your birthday, after all. You totally get birthday sex.”
He glanced up at me. “And today would be different from any other day, how? We have a lot of sex, babe, for which I’m very grateful.”
Hopefully no one in the shop was listening to this conversation. “But today you can put in any special requests you might have.”
“Oh, yeah? Anything goes? Or are there, you know, boundaries?” He wiped my arm and rolled a foot away on the chair, cleaning the needle to get the blue ink.
“No boundaries.”
His eyebrows shot up, disappearing under his hair. “Now that’s fucking hot.”
“No boundaries, unless you want a threesome or something. I’m not doing that.” I wasn’t sharing him.
Phoenix made a face that had me relieved. “Fuck no. Why would I want that? You’re everything I need and want. Though I would not say no to a strip tease and a lap dance combo, that’s for sure.”
All of a sudden I was feeling a hot rush of blood in my face, and I didn’t think it was from the pain. The thought of doing what he wanted made me super excited, but a little nervous, too. “I’m not a very good dancer.”
Phoenix glanced up at me. “Baby, that is not the point. Naked enthusiasm is all that’s required.”
“Oh. I can do that.”
He made a sound in the back of his throat. I watched the blue appearing on my skin, the sensation a sharp scraping, but I was thinking about sitting on Phoenix’s lap. It was a pleasant distraction. Did I have the guts to strip in front of him? It was his birthday. I had offered for his choice. And I was getting a tattoo, which proved I had some form of bravery in me, no matter how small.