He scoffed, “Tell me how you really feel.” I could feel his stomach bouncing up and down with light laughter.
I lifted my head to glare at him. “I wasn’t finished. Now shhh…” He put his hands up in a sign to continue. I put my head back in its special spot. “You’re all of those things, Camden. But you’re also kindhearted, warm, caring, protective, genuine, and funny. It’s like all of your negative qualities are overshadowed by your good ones. And even then, your bad ones can be spun into something positive. Like your stubbornness. Most guys wouldn’t put up with my sarcasm. They find it offensive and off-putting. But you somehow play off of it and turn it into this weird flirting thing that I don’t think I get, but am strangely attracted to.”
“Hmmm…I’m intrigued. Go on.”
“Well, last night you were sorta…here for me. I’m assuming that Dodger gave you a heads-up that we were coming home, but when we walked in the door, you had this look about you like you wanted to pound somebody’s face in.”
“That’s because I did.”
I nodded. “I know. That’s the side of you that confuses me.”
He brushed his fingers through my long waves. “What do you mean?”
“Camden, since I moved in here, things didn’t get off on the right foot. You were cruel with your words, and you acted like you wished I never walked into your apartment. Nobody has ever made me feel like the mere sight of me disgusted them.”
“Keegan, that’s not how it happened,” he argued.
“That’s how it happened to me. You said some very hurtful things to me, and they cut pretty deep. My weight seemed to be an issue for you, but yet your words now say the opposite. Do you see how I could be feeling like a yo-yo in my head?”
“Yes, but I’d like to have a chance to explain all of it.”
I shook my head. “Not yet. I need to get this out.” He sighed in resignation. “I like you Camden. Despite how the last couple of months have played out between us, there has been one constant. You’ve always been the protector. I don’t know why you took on that role, but you did. From the night I brought my little sister back home, to bossing me around and telling me what I could and couldn’t do at the gym, and then warning me about Luke. For some reason, regardless of how you came across to me in the beginning, you’ve always been there. You wedged yourself into my life when I wasn’t asking for it, and when I least expected it. As much as you piss me off, and I’ve secretly plotted how to murder you in your sleep, you’ve grown on me.”
I could feel the vibrations of his chest as he laughed at what I said. “Boy this conversation keeps getting better and better.” I reached up and tweaked his nipple. “Ouch!”
He grabbed my wrist and flipped me on to my back, pinning my arms on either side of my head. “Careful. If you’re wanting to play, I’ll play.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Then quit laughing at me.”
“Quit saying funny shit,” he retorted.
“Gah you frustrate me! I wasn’t trying to be funny, I was telling you how you make me feel.”
He maneuvered himself between my legs and rolled his hips till he rubbed against parts of me that were still sensitive from the night before. “So then tell me how I make you feel.”
My eyelids fluttered shut, and I bit my lip to hide my moan. “Stop distracting me,” I whined.
“Look at me Keegan. Let me see your eyes.” I opened them and gave him my full attention. “Good girl, now tell me how I make you feel. I won’t distract you.”
“Yeah right, you’re one big distraction,” I mumbled under my breath, and he chuckled. I sighed before continuing, “Look, somewhere along the line, something between us shifted. You went from just being my roommate, to the person that I look forward to seeing when I come home. If you’re not around, I’m wondering what you’re doing. When I go to the gym, I catch myself searching for you. There’s even been times when I can feel you come into a room, and I know your eyes are on me. It gives me butterflies, and I don’t know what to do about it. It’s been a lot of confusing emotions that I don’t know how to express because you have to be one of the hardest people to figure out that I’ve ever met.”
His brown eyes seemed to sparkle down at me. “Is it my turn to talk yet?”
I nodded.
“You sure are a contradiction in terms. But you’re not alone in how you feel. It all started when I saw you sitting in my apartment about to sign the lease and I thought, what the fuck is Dodger doing now? But then you looked up at me, and it was like my whole world shifted. All I saw were your bright innocent blue eyes and that was it.” He sat back on his heels and rubbed the palm of his hand down his face. “I was so fucked.”
“How so?” I asked.
The corner of his mouth lifted. “Because with that one look, I knew you were the girl who could ruin me.” Camden shook his head as though he were clearing his thoughts. “I shouldn’t have said the shit that I did, and for that I’m very sorry. I didn’t know how to take you. Here was this little tiny blonde who came storming into my space, needing a place to stay, and all I wanted to do was push you right back out the door. Ever since then you’ve been a tornado, uprooting all aspects of my life. I live by my routines, always have. Except now I find myself coming home early, because I know you’re here. I’ll come home to eat lunch just so I can hear you tell me about your day. Anything just to be around you. This is new territory for me, Keegan.”
“I accept your apology, but Camden, your words about my weight or referring to me being ‘easy’ were a hard pill to swallow. My self-esteem isn’t the highest when it comes to my body. My confidence is lagging.”
His jaw worked back and forth. Not in an angry sort of way, but more of a ‘how can I fix this’. “I was an idiot okay. I mean, I fucking work in a gym. I know how self-conscious people can be, and I’m never one to judge. I don’t know how else to tell you that I never meant what I said. I was trying to get you to leave. You throw me off my game, Keegan. I’ve always been with girls that are tall and thin. You’re thin, but you have these graceful, plush curves that make my mouth water.” He ended his sentence by licking his lips.
I looked down and felt a blush creeping up my cheeks. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I want you to be comfortable in front of me.” He tugged on the sheet. “I don’t want you hiding your body when I want to see everything.”
I shivered at his brazenness. Things were starting to fall into place where there were holes before. I hadn’t expected him to be so straightforward with his feelings. Still unsure and unsettled, I asked the question that had been looming in my head for days. “So where does all of this leave us? What is this happening between you and me?”
Camden grabbed my arms and pulled me up in a sitting position. I made sure to take the sheet with me and cover my naked breasts. He noticed and gave me a devilish grin. “Well, I can tell you where it doesn’t leave you and Luke. Or you and anybody else for that matter. I meant what I said last night. You’re mine. I won’t share you.”
I quirked my brow and took in his serious expression. The mention of Luke’s name grated on my nerves. “Am I supposed to share you? Cause I can’t Camden. It was already hard enough to watch you parade women in and out of here with no regard to my feelings. But if you’re claiming me in some weird caveman sort of way, then I expect the same from you. I’m not saying we have to put a label on this,” I motioned between us with my hand. “I just need to know that if I’m exclusive, you will be too.”
He tipped my chin up to meet his eyes as he descended dangerously close to my mouth. “I think I can handle that.”