“You aren’t. You settle down a little when I tuck you back into me.”
My heart melted. “You cuddle me closer?”
“Mhmm.” He tugged his gym shorts up over his hips, and I pouted not being able to see all of him any longer.
I covered my mouth to stifle a yawn, and he smiled at me. Walking toward the bed, he bent down and kissed me tenderly on the lips. I wanted to yank him down and have my way with him, but both of us needed to get going. The unease was still flowing through me as I watched him grab his phone from the night stand and check it. I tried to tell if there were any differences in his demeanor or if he’d come out and tell me what was up, but he held it in. There were no changes in his expression, nor did he mention the texts. I felt myself pull away slightly, not wanting to give away that it was killing me not knowing.
“I’m going to head downstairs to get my bag ready, do you want me to make you something before you have to leave?” he offered.
I shook my head. I definitely wasn’t feeling hungry with this pit sitting in my stomach, and I wanted to scream at him to tell me what was going on.
“Nah, I’m good. I think I’ll brush my hair and teeth and take off.”
He looked at me a little funny, but nodded. “Okay.”
He turned and went downstairs. Getting up, I made myself presentable and followed after him to say bye. Everything about our movements was completely normal… until he told me he was going to be working late. Alarms started ringing in my head and I was reeling. I needed to get out of here and get away so I could try and clear my head. Words wouldn’t even form on my lips and I simply nodded at him and made my way to the door. Before I walked out, I looked back at him and saw him staring at me strangely. He said bye, and I had no response, there was nothing. Walking out the front door, I half expected him to follow after me, to question what my problem was, but he didn’t. I think I found that more disturbing that he didn’t. Now who was the one acting differently?
Once I was at work, I couldn’t concentrate. My mind kept playing over and over the text that I’d seen, and this Bree girl who wanted to meet my boyfriend at FastEddy’s. I was only thirty minutes into my shift, and I couldn’t deal with it any longer. Have you ever tried to concentrate on the job when every single thought was being consumed by something else? Not really feeling like I was lying, I went to my boss and said I was sick and needed to go home. She looked at my sympathetically and told me she hoped I felt better. As I walked out of the office, one thought occurred to me. I needed to see for myself. I had no idea what time she told Camden to meet her, but I did know where. There was another small hole in the wall restaurant across the street from FastEddy’s where I could sit inside and not be seen. My mind made up, I made the short drive and parked my car around the corner. I’d only hoped that the person serving me wouldn’t mind that I planned on staying there until I was certain Camden wouldn’t show up at the other diner.
I’d been seated for only ten minutes, and I was sipping my water when it hit me what I was doing. Had I lost that much faith in my relationship with Camden that I felt the need to resort to spying, or had I not had faith in the first place? He’d never given me a reason not to trust him. And at what point did I become this crazy person? I wanted to leave, to prove to myself that I didn’t need to be here and I could put aside my doubts. No scratch that, I needed to leave. Except every time I was going to call the waiter over to me to pay my tab, I stopped myself. My stupid head was spinning in circles and every minute that ticked by I was getting angrier with myself.
Just over an hour into my stalking, I looked across street at the outdoor patio of FastEddy’s and watched as a familiar looking dark-haired girl was seated. How did I know her? I was going through faces in my memory trying to peg exactly where I’ve seen her but nothing was ringing a bell. Hmmm… maybe I knew her from class or something. I was going to shrug it off but then Camden’s car came pulling up to my side of the road and parallel parked. I ducked in my seat as if he could see me, when in actuality the windows were too dark for him to see in. My heart went into my throat, and I was holding my breath as he got out of the car and looked across the street. The girl gave a small wave and that was when it hit me. Holy shit it was the girl from the photograph. The one that was hanging in his parents’ hallway. No, no, no, this wasn’t happening! I felt like my eyes were deceiving me. Dizzily looking from her to him, then him to her. I was going to puke. Camden turned in my direction but was looking at the other side of his vehicle. The passenger side door opened and Dodger stepped out. What the hell was he doing here too? They both made their way across the street and through the restaurant until they stepped out on the patio. The women stood up, and I looked on as she hugged Dodger and kissed his cheek. Oh Macie would have a field day with his balls right about now had she seen him do that. When Camden greeted her, she smiled big, as if she were happier to see him. She went into his open arms, and he held her tightly. He was speaking into her ear, and she nodded as he spoke. When he broke away, she held his hand as they sat down.
He’d been lying to me. He came to meet up with a girl, and he never told me about it, and for whatever reason Dodger was in on it. Mindlessly I sat and watched as they conversed and shared some laughs. I didn’t know why I stayed there letting every ounce of respect for Camden dissolve into nothing, but I did. Call it torture, call it affliction, call it whatever you want, I was planted in my chair as it all unfolded. Every emotion one could feel— disgust, hurt, pain, anger— were rolling through me like a raging storm.
I snapped.
Pulling out my wallet I threw some money on the table and stood up. Fury was fueling me to move forward. Once outside I went to Camden’s car and looked over the hood at the three of them. All I kept saying to myself was, ‘he told me he was working late’. When I heard the chime of her laughter float across the air, I think that was when I broke. Tears welled in my eyes clouding my vision, but not enough to do what I did next. I slung my purse at his passenger side door as hard as I possibly could. The sound of the beating amped me up to do it again, over and over. A few people stopped and watched what I was doing, but nobody said anything to me. Well, maybe they did, but I didn’t hear them. I was in my own little bubble. I’d hoped that it would give me some relief, some sort of reprieve from the need to go over there and hurt him. I never said anything about what I was doing was right, but all sense of reason had left my body. When it wasn’t enough, I dropped my bag and started using my feet. As my destruction continued I had looked up in time to see Camden reach across the table and place his palm on the woman’s cheek. Have you ever been so angry that you saw red? His gesture repulsed me. I kicked everything that I could lay my eyes on; the bumper, the door, the hood. I was running around it like a mad woman. A small crowd was forming around me, murmuring about calling the police. I wanted to say, ‘yes, call the police, because if he comes over here I am going to be charged with murder’. When my feet were no longer enough I started using my fists, pounding on the windows attempting to break the glass. It was like Camden was the car, and I was kicking the shit out it like I wanted to do him.
Arms suddenly closed in around me and I was lifted in the air away from the object of my focus. I screamed, “No! Put me down!”
Camden came to stand in front of me, his chest heaving. “Keegan? What the fuck are you doing?”
“I hate you. I HATE YOU!” I spat. “Who is she you son of a bitch? You lied to me.”
I didn’t realize who was holding me from behind until I heard Dodger’s voice in my ear. “Keegan, settle down. Jesus Christ, would you relax.”
“Fuck you, Dodger! I can’t believe you’ve known about him being with someone else, and you didn’t say anything.” I grunted.