‘Oh.’ I whisper. He gorged? I prefer dabbled.
‘I calmed it down, but my parents offered me an ultimatum; The Manor or them. I chose The Manor. Carmichael was my hero, I couldn’t sell up.’ He finishes his little speech with utter finality.
‘Your parents knew you were carrying on…’ I clear my dry throat. ‘Well, like you were.’ I can’t say it. It makes me feel sick.
‘Yes and they predicted it, so you see, they were right and they’ve never let me forget it. I’ve lived a pretty sordid lifestyle, I admit that. Carmichael was the family black sheep. No one spoke to him and the family disowned him. They were embarrassed of him and then he died and I filled the shoes of the black sheep. My parents are ashamed of me. That’s it.’
I recoil at the last part. ‘They shouldn’t be ashamed of you.’ That kind of makes me mad.
‘It’s just the way it is.’ He shrugs.
‘So you’ve known John a long time?’ If he helped run The Manor in the early days, we’re talking sixteen-ish years.
‘Yes, a long time.’ he smiles fondly. ‘He was great friends with Carmichael.’
‘How old is he?’
He looks up and frowns. ‘Fifty-ish, I think.’
‘Well, how old was Carmichael?’ I ask.
‘When he died? Thirty one.’
‘That young?’ I blurt. I imagined him to be a long silver haired, tanned, smarmy type.
He laughs at my stunned face. ‘There were ten years between my father and Carmichael. He was an afterthought on my grandparent’s part.’
‘Oh,’ I do a quick mental calculation. ‘So, there was only ten years between you and Carmichael too.’
‘He was more like a brother.’
‘How did he die?’ I’m probably pushing my luck now, but I’m intrigued. I’m beginning to build a picture of Jesse’s history, and now I’m like a dog with a bone.
Sadness washes over Jesse’s face. ‘In a car accident.’
‘Oh.’ I whisper, but then realisation dawns. My eyes drift down his stomach and linger in the area where I know his scar to be. Jesse was in the car with Carmichael. Oh God. All of those times I’ve probed him and badgered him about it, he said it was too painful to talk about and it really is. My one million piece Jesse jigsaw puzzle is all starting to fit together. His Mum and Dad moved to a different country, he refused to go because he wanted to stay with his uncle, who was more like a brother – I will disregard the fucking about part – and then three years later, he lost Carmichael in a tragic accident that caused major injuries to him too. It’s no wonder he fell deeper into the pit of drink and sex afterwards. It all makes perfect sense now. I feel like a huge weight has just been lifted from my shoulders. Of course there is a reason for why he is like he is.
‘Don’t go to work.’ He pulls me over onto his lap with care and nuzzles my nose with his. ‘Stay at home and let me love you. I want to take you out for dinner this evening. I owe you some special time.’
I melt all over him. My new found knowledge, coupled with his reasonableness, refuses to let me say no. ‘I go back to work tomorrow.’ I say assertively. I need to sort out some seriously troubling issues at work. Namely…Mikael Van Der Haus. I can’t even begin to imagine what Patrick is going to say.
‘Fine,’ He rolls his eyes. ‘Right, I’m going for a run to alleviate some of the pressure that my challenging temptress presents me with, and then we snuggle all afternoon and go out for dinner. Deal?’
‘Deal, but I challenge the middle part of that statement and trump it with a deluded God.’
He gives me his smile, reserved only for me, and falls back onto the bed cautiously. ‘Kiss me, now.’ he demands, and I dive straight in with an appreciation kiss. He’s opened up and I feel so much better. Basking on Central Jesse cloud nine has resumed.
Chapter 33
‘Good morning, baby.’
I open my eyes wide in alarm. Morning? ‘It’s not, is it?’
‘No, it’s five o’clock. You’ve been asleep all afternoon. How does your back feel?’ He crawls up the bed, completely naked, until he is lying flush with me. I marvel at the beads of water glimmering on his firm shoulders and chest. He’s shaved. He smells divine.
I wriggle a little. ‘It feels okay.’ It’s not massively uncomfortable, but that’s not to say I would like to go through it again. ‘I’m a lazy arse, wallowing in bed all afternoon on a work day.’ I turn into his chest and get my fix of pure fresh water and mint.
‘Just think, if you gave up work, you could do this every day. How perfect would that be?’
‘For you,’ I grumble. ‘Perfect for you because you’ll know where I am all the time.’ I push my lips into his chest, contemplating that he might just get his way. I know Patrick well, but not well enough to be confident that he would send Mikael packing when I tell him what’s going on.
‘Exactly.’ He threads his fingers through my hair. ‘You could come to work with me and we would never have to be apart.’
‘You would get sick of me.’
‘Not possible. Are you going to let me take you out for dinner?’
‘Or we could just stay right here.’ I slide my hand over his stomach and brush over his scar.
‘Nothing would please me more, but I would like to take you out. Do you mind?’ he asks, rather reasonably.
That’s not like him at all. And him turning down the opportunity to keep me in bed? I’m suspicious.
‘But then again,’ he whispers, ‘I’ve not been inside you for way too long. That is not acceptable.’ He eases me over onto my back gently. ‘Baby, sleepy sex is off the menu for a while, so I’m just going to fuck you. Any objections?’ He rests his body half on mine, his eyes instantly smoking out. That, mixed with his lurid words, has me whipped into a lustful frenzy. But he’s even asking me if I mind him taking me, which, not surprisingly, I don’t, but I prefer dominant Jesse taking what he wants.
‘You’re asking if you can fuck me?’ I’m full of suspicion and you can tell.
His eyes dance with mischief as he kisses the corner of my mouth and then the other corner. ‘Watch your mouth. I’m trying to be reasonable.’ He circles his groin and hits just the right spot.
‘Don’t be!’ I blurt.
He pulls back, his perfect frown line perfectly in place. He ponders my demand for a few seconds. ‘You don’t want me to be reasonable?’
‘No.’ I’m getting a little breathy. He knows exactly what he’s doing.
‘So, let me clarify this. I’m a little confused.’ He rolls his hips into me, unearthing a persistent thump in my groin. ‘You really don’t want me to be reasonable?’ he asks.
Thrust!
‘No!’
‘I see.’ He slip’s his finger into the edge of my knickers and skims my tight bud of nerves lightly, sending me through the roof. ‘Carte Blanche?’ he asks.
‘Yes!’
‘Well, now you’re just giving me mixed signals.’ he says, all controlled as he slips his thumb across my flesh. ‘I love how wet you are for me.’
‘Please, Jesse!’ My back arches and all discomfort has been replaced with sexual anticipation. I’m bubbling.
He inserts one long finger and pushes up on the front wall of my entrance. ‘Soft, hot and made just for me.’ He yanks the cup of my bra down with his spare hand and flicks my already stiff nipple into a bullet. ‘My mark is fading.’ he muses to himself as he latches onto to my breast, biting and sucking. ‘We don’t want you forgetting who you belong to, do we?’
I moan as he replaces one finger with two. ‘Ohhhhhh!’
‘Do we, Ava?’
‘No.’ I breathe.
He clamps down on my nipple and scrapes his teeth over the end, sending shots of pleasure straight down to my core. ‘I love how receptive you are to my touch. It gives me the power.’ Two fingers turn into three, and with his back in such a mess, I resort to grasping the sheets. ‘Does that feel good?’ He works his fingers in and out of me, circling and thrusting as he watches me undulate under him.