Then he’d return home. She’d drop him off in front of the parsonage and drive away and he’d walk up onto the porch and enter the dark quiet house. His father and his mother would be asleep in their bedroom upstairs, and he’d go back to the kitchen and make something to eat, and take the food up to his room, and enter the bathroom and lower his trousers and inspect himself and soothe his soreness with hand salve and return to his bedroom and turn on the computer and eat the food he’d brought upstairs and read his messages.
It went on for most of a month this way. He and this older girl, Genevieve Larsen, out in the country in the dark in Holt County driving and stopping and climbing into the backseat. And then starting the car again and turning back out onto the gravel roads and always the dust swirling and rising up behind them.
You should have known me in Denver, he said. It was different in Denver. I had friends there. I was known there.
What’d you do? Sit around and play with your computer?
No. We had fun. It was interesting.
Doing what?
It was different. There’s so much to do. We went out at night and talked and saw people. Ate in the cafés. We laughed and laughed. We hung out at the malls.
We’re out at night. We’re talking. Don’t you like this?
Yes. Of course.
You didn’t have somebody like me there, did you?
No.
Well.
I don’t know, it was just different there. That’s all I’m saying. You’d have liked it.
You’re going to mess this up, do you know that? You don’t even see what’s in front of you. You’re like everybody else.
No, I’m not.
You’re dreaming backward.
One night his mother was waiting in the living room, reading, when he came in. It was late. He stood in the doorway. She was watching him over the top of her book.
Come here, she said. I want to look at you.
Why?
I want to see what you look like when you come in so late after being out with her all night.
It’s not all night.
Don’t be literal. You know what I mean.
He went over and stood before her. She studied him, a tall skinny thin-faced boy, his hair a mess.
You smell like her, she said. Don’t you.
No.
Yes, you smell like her. You have her odor. I hope you’re not being foolish about this. I hope you’re not going to get this girl pregnant.
She’s on the pill.
Is she. Did she tell you that?
Yes.
Do you believe her?
Yes.
Well, we can hope she’s not a little liar. Do you love her?
It’s none of your business.
Do you or not?
Yes, I do.
That’s good. I wouldn’t want it all to be for nothing. Just sex.
Mother. What are you doing?
You’ll get tired of her. Or she you. It doesn’t last. Love doesn’t last. You look like you’re losing weight. Are you?
No.
Well go to bed. You must be exhausted.
12
AT THE WINDOW sitting in his chair Dad Lewis was awake in the late morning when the Johnson women drove up and stopped in front of Berta May’s house and got out of the car in their summer dresses. They went up the walk onto the porch and knocked and stood waiting.
Dad turned his head and called toward the kitchen.
Yes? Mary said. Do you want something?
Would you come out here?
She came out through the dining room. Is something the matter?
They’re over at Berta May’s.
Who is?
Willa and Alene.
Mary looked out the window. The Johnson women were still standing on the porch.
What are they doing over there? Dad said. I thought they’d be coming here again.
Maybe they’re just paying a call.
Berta May came and drew back the lace curtain at the front window and peered out and opened the door.
I didn’t hear you knock. Will you come in?
Is this a bad time to come? Willa said.
No. I don’t guess it is. Is there something I can help you with? Come in, please.
They stepped inside. Alene looked at her mother and said, We just wondered if we might take Alice out for lunch today.
Take her out for lunch.
Yes. If you wouldn’t mind.
Well, I don’t know. You only want her. Is that what you’re saying?
Oh no, we’d like you to come too if you want to.
She looked at them. No. I see now. I’m afraid I’m getting slow. You thought you might take her for a treat. Is that it?
If you wouldn’t mind.
I don’t mind. But we’ll have to ask her.
Is she here?
Out in the backyard. I’ll call her.
She went out and stood at the kitchen door and called the girl in and they came back together to the living room. The girl was tanned and freckled, in shorts and T-shirt.
Her grandmother stood with her arm around her. They want to ask you something. Go ahead and ask her, if you’d care to.
Willa smiled at Alice. Do you remember meeting us next door when we were visiting Dad and Mary Lewis?
Yes.
We wanted to know if we could take you out for lunch today.
The girl looked up at her grandmother’s big red face.
If you want to, Berta May said. It’s up to you.
For a little excursion, Alene said. Just the three of us.
Isn’t Grandma coming?
No, I’m staying here. I got too much to do right here.
We’d bring you back home as soon as you would want.
Where to?
Where would we go to eat?
Yes.
We thought the Wagon Wheel Café out on the highway. Have you been there?
I don’t think so.
You haven’t, Berta May said. We go to Shattuck’s if we eat out.
I guess I can go, Alice said.
Then you better go change your clothes. You can’t go out in public to eat with these ladies looking like that.
What should I put on?
You decide.
The girl looked at them again and went back into the hall to her bedroom. The women stood and talked, waiting for her.
Then she came back in a yellow shirt and green shorts.
Well, those are some bright clothes, her grandmother said. You won’t get run over at least.
They’re my new clothes.
I know. They’re clean anyway.
Would you like to go now? Willa said.
They went out to the car in the dazzling sun of midday and Alene drove and Willa sat beside her in the front seat and the girl rode in the back and watched out the window and looked at the back of the heads of the two women. They went up to the highway and turned east past the Gas and Go and on beyond the Highway 34 Grocery Store into the country past the implement dealership.
They parked and went inside the café and waited at the counter until a woman in a white blouse and a black skirt came and led them past the bar and the salad buffet into the second room to a table where the woman put down menus at three places and took away the fourth place setting. Luann will be your waitress today, she said. She’ll be with you in a moment.
Where would you like to sit? Willa said.
Alice looked at the table and then around the room.
Do you want to face the doorway so you can see who’s coming in or look out the window toward the fields?
The doorway, the girl said.
She pulled her chair out and took her seat and the two women sat on either side of her. They took up the menus.