“None of your fuckin’ business, Pooni.” She gave my arm a conspiratorial nudge. “By the way, everyone, Nuni’s new nickname is Pooni.”
He sucked in an affronted breath and almost choked on a bite of mashed potato. Ears twitching, he shot me a betrayed look, clearly remembering my threat from earlier. “What the fuck, Beryl? I thought we were bros.”
Kiti slung an arm over my shoulders. “You haven’t earned the right yet, dickface. Beryl’s my bro.”
Nuni shook his head. “Not cool, dude.”
Sorin, seated beside him, shoved the side of his face. “Quit whining, Pooni.”
Laki snorted, grabbing a dinner roll and launching it at Nuni’s face with unerring accuracy. “Yeah, shut up, Pooni.”
“Dude!” Nuni snatched up his napkin and wiped at his cheek furiously. “That had butter on it! If you make me break out, I’ll kick your ass.”
“Children, please.” Una pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes fluttering shut in exasperation. “Not in front of Beryl.”
“Why am I getting roasted for asking how Beryl and Gro—Greid met?” Nuni shot me a quick, wary look before glancing around the table expectantly. “It’s a valid question. I’m just asking.”
“You’re getting roasted because you’re an asshat.” Kiti held out a hand. “Can someone pass me the gravy?”
“Kiti,” Una said wearily. “Your brother is not an… ass hat. Nuni, why don’t you tell us how work’s going?” she added, clearly trying to put an end to the bickering.
The idea of talking about himself perked Nuni right back up. “Pretty good. Record turnover in the last quarter. We’ve got our ten-year anniversary coming up, so we’re planning on holding a big event for it.”
“Ten years!” Una reached over to squeeze his arm. “I’m so proud of you, darling.”
“Thanks, Ma.” His chest puffed up, but he gave a self-deprecating shrug that wasn’t at all convincing. “It was a team effort.”
“Yeah, Team Nuni, right?” Tuvin huffed, then shot Nuni a sly grin. “Sorry, Pooni.”
Nuni lunged for the dinner rolls. “I swear to god, asshole—”
“Who’s planning your anniversary event?” I blurted quickly, because Una was pinching her nose again.
Nuni sat back and shot me a suspicious look. “Why? You an event planner? Am I allowed to know that?”
“No, I’m not,” I said calmly, “but my friend is. She’s really good.”
“Who is it?” Sorin asked with interest.
“Corva nir Feris.”
Daga gasped, staring at me from across the table. “Seriously? She’s not just good, she’s the best.” She nudged Elern. “You remember when we looked at that manor house outside the city when we were planning our matehood?”
“Uh…” Elern winced as one of the babies grabbed his ear. “Kinda.”
“It was all done up for a wedding that weekend,” Daga told me. “It looked incredible. Super high-end. I asked the manager who the event planner was and he said it was her, but that weddings weren’t her usual gig. Whoever was getting mated had paid through the nose specifically for her.”
“Oh, well.” I shrugged. “She is amazing.”
Nuni was watching our exchange closely. “So she’s the best, huh?” He focused on me again. “Can you give me her details? Please,” he added hastily.
“Sure. She’s usually booked up pretty far in advance, though…”
“I’ll get her.” He sat back in his seat and sipped his drink.
Greid coughed beside me, leaning in to murmur, “You should probably warn her.”
I snorted, picking up my champagne flute to whisper behind it, “I’d pay money to watch him try and hit on her. It will not go well.”
“Kushka,” Una suddenly piped up. “Did you tell everyone about the news piece?”
Greid sat back and picked up his fork. “The what?”
Una tutted. “The article about the lady you made a headpiece for in the fall. There was a big picture of her wearing it and they were giving suggestions on how to recreate the look. I texted you about it last week.”
He cringed, sinking lower in his seat. “Oh. Yeah. I didn’t, um, open the link.”
“Why not?” she demanded. “Everyone else did. I sent it to the whole family.”
Greid squirmed. “Why, Ma?”
“Because I am proud of all my children’s achievements and they deserve to be celebrated,” she declared.
“Even I opened the link,” Nuni piped up. “And you didn’t, Grode? C’mon, bro. Let Ma be proud of you, at least. The headpiece was decent.”
“I liked it,” Laki added between mouthfuls of beef.
Sorin nodded. “Really nice, Greid.”
I beamed with pride as Greid slouched so low in his seat that he almost slid completely under the table. Squeezing his thigh, I leaned in to bump his shoulder with mine. “See?”
“Nngh,” he mumbled, keeping his head down.
Una seemed to notice his discomfort, because she quickly said, “Well anyway, my darling, I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you. Now, where’s Jake? I want to feed him the scraps from my plate.”
“You probably shouldn’t do that, Ma.” Greid seemed relieved to move on from the subject of himself as he looked around. “Uh…”
“He’s here.” Jake’s snout was still on my thigh, so I looked down to give him a fond smile as I stroked the top of his head. “He’s been such a good boy. Who’s my good boy?” I cooed.
“I am,” Greid said automatically on my other side, rendering the entire table utterly silent.
Trying to keep my face blank, I looked up to see Laki staring at us with their fork raised halfway to their mouth. Daga’s lips were twitching as she looked down and fussed over the babies on her lap. Elern didn’t seem to have heard as he winced, trying to free his ear from a baby’s grasping fingers.
Nuni was frozen in place, his chair still tipped on its back legs, before it thudded to the floor as he sat forward. “Dude. What.”
Oh dear. I forced myself not to look at Greid—and I absolutely could not bring myself to look at his mother—as I frantically tried to think of something to say.
After a couple more seconds of silence, I let out an easy laugh. “What, you’ve never heard of that before? Greid and I answer for Jake all the time.”
“You what?” Nuni’s eyes darted between us.
“Yeah. Like, if Greid asks him if he wants to go for a walk, I’ll be like, ‘Sure, Dad! Sounds fun!’ Loads of people do it with their pets.”
There was another pregnant pause, before Nuni leaned back in his seat with a snort. “That’s so dorky.”
“I know, right?” My voice dripped with sarcasm. “So dorky to love your pets and treat them like part of the family.”
Nuni’s ears fluttered as Daga chuckled.
“We do that with the munchkins. Even put on silly voices for them. Don’t we?” She nudged Elern.
He glanced up. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Made these two have a full-blown conversation yesterday about which type of wood to use for the table I’m building at work.” He shrugged. “Helps me think through it.”
Greid let out a shaky, near-silent breath beside me as the conversation moved on to Elern’s job. I reached under the table to squeeze his thigh, hiding my grin behind my champagne flute.
I tried to help clear the table when dinner was over, but Una and Indi shooed me away and told me to go and relax with Greid and the others.