Some people had come here after experiencing a midlife crisis, or when the pressures of the outside world got too much and they couldn’t cope—like Hannah. She’d once told me that she’d almost had a nervous breakdown at law school, and it had made her realise that it wasn’t what she wanted. That all she really wanted was a quiet life with the person she loved. And in her dream, that person happened to be a demiurgus.
I’d always wondered why the people here hadn’t just tried to meet demiurgus out in the real world, like in a bar or at the supermarket or at work, instead of going to the extreme of dedicating their entire lives to worshipping the creatures. But after speaking to Greid, I thought I understood it better. I’d already suspected that human-demiurgus relationships were super rare, but it seemed there was a good reason for that—the two species weren’t exactly compatible. And if demiurgus knew that, I doubted they often bothered to approach humans they were attracted to.
I realised I’d zoned out when everyone started clapping as Moe wrapped up his speech. As he sank back into his chair, dabbing at his eyes with a napkin, someone else stood up and took a breath. I slouched further into my seat, wishing I had something stronger than water to get me through this.
“Beryl,” Fatimah began, giving me a beaming, watery smile. “I can’t tell you how excited I am for you. And, yes, a little bit jealous.” She let out a delicate laugh as everyone around the table chuckled and murmured in agreement. I dutifully smiled.
“You are truly blessed, Beryl, and I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more,” Fatimah continued with a dreamy sigh. “You have been a faithful member of our family for years, and not once have you given up hope that you would one day be blessed with the love of a Greater. You’re an inspiration to all of us, and a shining example of how we shouldn’t lose faith. That love will come to all of us one day.”
As Fatimah sat down to a round of ‘hear hears’ from the others, my gut clenched with unease. I wasn’t all that keen on being a “shining example” of why they should all keep wasting their lives in this place. But as I glanced around the table at all the wistful faces, I realised there was probably very little that would cause them to give up their dream. That was how groups like this worked.
If I’d rejected Greid, or he’d rejected me, they’d already have reasons and excuses for why. He wasn’t your Greater. They are still out there, they’d say. Or, His mating instinct is in flux. He will return with a clearer head and find his true mate. These things cannot be forced.
And if I hated it—living with Greid, being in the outside world—to the point of actually wanting to come back here, they’d have reasons for that too. You must not have bettered yourself enough yet, Beryl. He will return for you when you are truly ready to be his mate.
I heaved a silent sigh when the high priest shuffled to his feet, clutching his glass of milk. At least that hopefully meant the speeches would be coming to an end soon. Everyone went quiet, waiting with hushed deference for him to speak.
“Beryl,” he began, eyes already filling up with tears. “My dear, I cannot tell you how proud I am of you. You came to us when you were just a child, and it has been a joy to watch you grow into a woman and dedicate your life to our cause. I was so afraid that we would have to watch you leave when you reached adulthood, that you would be lost, but you stayed.” He beamed at me. “You stayed, and now you receive your reward. A blissful life with your Greater. To our cherished Beryl!”
He held up his glass and everyone followed suit. I heard my aunt weakly mumble, “To Beryl,” beside me before she gulped down her water.
Now that the high priest had given the final word, everyone stood and started clearing their plates. I stared down at the remnants of my final dinner here—poached salmon with green beans and brown rice. It had been nice. Fine. All the food here was healthy and well-prepared and tasty enough, but I couldn’t help wondering what Greid would order us for dinner tomorrow night. I wanted the greasiest, fattiest takeout available. And ice cream. Did demiurgus like ice cream?
“I’ll help you pack, Beryl,” Aunt Violet said in a too-cheerful voice as we rose from our seats. She gripped my arm and hurried us out of the dining room before anyone else could stop me to gush over what a handsome, virile demiurgus Greid was.
“So tall!” Nancy had already sighed to me dreamily.
“His hair was beautiful,” Robbie had breathed with glazed eyes.
I mean, yeah, sure. Greid was tall. And he did have nice hair. But I had nice hair too. Why weren’t any of them saying how lucky he was to get me? I was a catch, damn it.
When we reached my room, I realised someone had already left luggage outside my door, and I cringed when I noticed the G + B stencilled in gold on the front. Christ, they worked fast. How the hell was I going to explain that to Greid tomorrow?
Violet stayed silent until the door was shut and locked behind her. Then she turned to me with a horrified look and hissed, “What the fuck, Beryl?”
“Okay, it’s not what it seems,” I whispered, glancing at the door before pulling her into the bathroom.
“Did he threaten you? Has he forced you to do this?”
“No,” I said immediately, feeling strangely protective of Greid already. “No, nothing like that. He didn’t come here for a human lover. He just wants a…” I shrugged. “A friend. A roommate.”
Violet stared at me hard. “And you believed him?”
I couldn’t help but glare at her. “You were the one saying earlier that some people just want companionship.”
“I know, but—” She rubbed her face. “—what if he gets you alone in his house and…”
“He won’t,” I said firmly, believing it wholeheartedly. Greid hadn’t seemed like that whatsoever. “If he had nefarious motives, we were alone in that room together for ages. He could’ve done whatever he wanted.”
“Beryl, I don’t like this,” Violet moaned, shoving a hand through her strawberry-blonde hair, sprinkled with grey. “You seriously agreed to move in with him to be his friend?”
“I get something out of it too,” I whispered. “A chance to finally leave. To experience normal things. Life. He’s offering me a safe place where I can actually go out into the real world and do things, Violet.”
She stared at me. “But… how do you know it’s safe?”
I shrugged. “Is it any less safe than if I left here with literally nothing to my name? No job, no place to live, no other family…”
“I…” Violet flushed and rubbed her cheek. “I’m sorry. If I’d known you wanted to leave… I tried to give you the best life I could—”
“I know you did,” I said gently, stepping closer to squeeze her arm. “And you kept me safe and warm and fed as a kid. I’ll always be grateful to you, Auntie. And it was my choice to stay here. No one forced me. I could’ve left at eighteen and tried to make it on my own then, but I just… didn’t. But now… now I think I want to.”
She gazed at me, guilt still tightening the skin around her eyes. “And you want to do it with the demiurgus?”