I snorted a laugh as I stepped back. “You practically have to bend in half to kiss me.”
“I don’t mind,” he said quickly. “I think you’re the perfect height. But, um… yeah. Sorry.”
My brows twitched. “Sorry for what? For being tall?”
“I don’t know.” He shot me a mock glare, but his ears fluttered with embarrassment. “It just came out. Shut up. Go to bed, berry.”
He was such a dork. A perfect dork. Who I was in love with.
“Goodnight, Greid.” I finally started heading for the stairs. “See you in the morning.”
“With coffee?” he asked eagerly, his mouth already full of whatever snack he’d picked next.
I glanced back as I began ascending the stairs, blowing out the candles on the way. “I wouldn’t dream of entering your lair so early in the day without coffee.”
“You can enter my lair any time you want,” he called after me, making me snort as I trudged up the spiral staircase, my legs suddenly feeling like they had fifty-pound weights attached to each one.
I was yawning as I entered my bedroom and stripped off, but I wanted to take a shower before getting into bed. The bar always got hot and humid when it was packed, and I’d spilled some beer down my pant leg at some point during my shift. I could still smell it, like the cloying blend of booze and stranger sweat and many, many perfumes and aftershaves had soaked into my skin.
I tried to keep my mind blank as I showered, but I couldn’t. I’d thought time alone would help me process my feelings and work out what I was going to do and whether I was brave enough to tell him, but now that he wasn’t here, I just missed him.
The shower chased away some of my exhaustion, and I was feeling a little wired as I dried off and put on my pyjamas. Could I go see if he was still up? Not to tell him—no way, not yet—but just… to see if he wanted to hang out for a while before going to sleep.
Or maybe to see if he wanted to make me come.
Silently easing open my bedroom door, I peered into the hallway. I’d blown out all the candles up here already, but usually I could see the faint glow of any still lit downstairs. It was pitch black, meaning Greid had gone to bed.
Sighing, I shut my door and trudged over to my bed, sliding under the sheets. They were cold at first, making me shiver and shift my legs restlessly as I turned off my bedside lamp and lay back.
My mind raced as I stared up at the dark ceiling, insecurities and ugly thoughts rising to the surface, as they were so wont to do in the dead of night, when everything felt so much more overwhelming.
What if it’s weird to fall in love with someone so quickly?
What if there’s a universally agreed upon timeline for these things that I don’t know about because I never had a life before this? Like, you date for a certain number of months, then confess your undying love for someone?
What if I’m not actually in love with him but I have no idea what it feels like because I’ve never had a true romantic relationship before, and I’ve barely had any other kinds of relationships either?
What if he doesn’t feel that way about me?
I squirmed in bed, shifting onto my belly then immediately back around to continue blinking up at the ceiling. Sometimes I felt embarrassingly juvenile. Like I was experiencing all these things for the first time in my thirties that other people went through years earlier, and it was painfully obvious to those around me how small my world had been before.
Was I overthinking it? Probably. But I wasn’t usually a big overthinker—not like Greid, who overthought everything.
My chest got all tight again just thinking about him. I squirmed, thighs rubbing together and clit pulsing at the fresh memory of Greid’s tongue in my mouth. God, I just wanted to be close to him. Maybe I wasn’t brave enough to tell him how I felt, but I could show him in other ways.
And fuck, I really wanted him to make me come. I’d been waiting days now.
My hands crept up to my chest. Through the thin cotton of my pyjama top, I smoothed my thumbs over my nipples, shivering at the memory of his hot mouth on them. God, he’d been so sweet and eager. Needy. All he’d done was suck my nipples, but the memory of it felt like he’d been practically worshipping me.
How would he act with his mouth on my cunt?
Pulse rabbiting in my throat, I reached over and grabbed my phone from the nightstand. Wincing at the bright light from the screen, I licked my lips and opened my messages with Greid.
What was I going to do? I had no idea. Did I have any kind of plan? No. But I needed to at least speak to him, even though it’d been barely a half hour since we’d parted downstairs.
What are you watching? I typed out, seeing as I was pretty sure he’d still be up and watching TV in his room.
His reply came through just a few seconds later. A photo of the TV screen in his room, showing—of course—late-night infomercials. My mouth twitched into a fond smile, chest warming as I pictured him curled up in a mound of blankets, probably smoking a joint.
How come you’re not asleep? he sent. I thought you were really tired.
Dunno, I sent back, heart beating fast. Can’t sleep.
He replied, Want to come watch infomercials with me?
I stared at my phone screen, the urge to go and curl up with him in his bed making my stomach tighten. But my body was restless. Wired.
I want something else, I found myself typing back, belly dipping with anticipation. He replied just a second later.
What?
My pulse quickened as I licked my lips, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. I could practically hear the eagerness in his text. Whatever I wanted, he’d give it to me. He was so sweet. Eager to please. It made me want to give him anything he wanted.
I started typing again.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Beryl
I want you to come up to my room naked and lick my pussy until I tell you I’ve had enough. Don’t say anything, don’t make any sounds. You can’t come until I tell you to. You can bring one toy up to use once I’m done with you.
My heart started pounding harder as I wondered what he would think when he read it. He could say no, of course. I wouldn’t mind, even though my pussy was already throbbing at the idea of Greid coming into my dark bedroom, crawling into my bed and lowering his head between my thighs without a word. Obediently, eagerly following my orders.
He didn’t respond to my text, but about a minute later, I heard a very faint sound coming from far below in the house. Then the creak of the stairs.
My heart shot into my throat. Dropping my phone on the nightstand, I hurriedly kicked off the covers and wriggled out of my pyjamas. The room was dark, but I knew Greid had some kind of night vision. As I listened to him coming up the stairs, I frantically tried to arrange myself into a sexy pose. What the fuck was a sexy pose when I was flat on my back? I let my arms fall onto the pillow above my head, drawing my knees up. Then I let out a strangled sound and settled my hands on my stomach. No, now it looked like I was at a doctor’s office waiting for an examination.