Levi leans back from his breath. “You’re drunk.”
“I am?” He laughs and slurs out, “Are you sure? Because sometimes my laid-back nature comes across as a lack of sobriety, but I assure you—assure you?” He laughs again. “That sounds funny in my mouth. Assure you. Assure—”
“Let Pixie out of the car.”
He points a wobbly finger at Levi and squints. “No, man. She’s not yours.”
“Well, she sure as hell isn’t yours.”
“I’m not anybody’s! God!” I say, angry and scared and just over the whole stupid thing. “Just let me out of the car, Daren.”
He turns to me. “Quit bitching, Sarah.”
And then Daren’s not in the car anymore.
Levi has him by the neck and has just dragged him out of the window and around the car.
Holy hell. Things are about to get real.
Daren’s body makes a hollow sound as Levi throws him against the hood and pins his throat.
Frozen in the passenger seat, I’m just staring through the rain-dotted windshield, while everyone in the parking lot waits for the whole Batman scene to unfold.
Daren tries to pry Levi’s hand from his throat, but Levi holds tight, his body rigid and giant. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Levi next to any guy who wasn’t a football player that I forgot just how big he is. Daren doesn’t stand a chance.
“Three things, asshole,” Levi says casually, like yanking a guy out of a car window is an everyday occurrence for him. “One.” He looks at Daren calmly. “Don’t drink and drive. That’s fucking retarded.”
Daren’s gasping.
“Two.” Levi stretches his neck. “When a girl says no—to anything—that means no.”
Daren smacks at Levi’s strong arm.
“And three.” Levi leans down and puts his face frighteningly close to Daren’s and lowers his voice. “Pixie’s. Not. Yours. And if I ever hear you speak to her like that again, I will yank the tongue out of your throat.”
With one last shove, Levi releases Daren and straightens his shoulders.
Daren starts coughing and hacking.
I’m speechless.
Without looking at me, Levi opens the driver’s door and waits. I scramble across the console and climb out, fully aware that everyone in the parking area is staring at us.
I’m still angry with him, but I follow him through the drizzle anyway. Because this is Levi. This is my hero. And you always follow your heroes, even when you’re mad, even when you’d rather punch them in the mouth. That’s how trust works. It’s blind and unconditional and it takes you places you can’t reach by yourself.
Just like love.
My heart squeezes and I drop my eyes to the wet pavement as we walk along. We don’t stay a word to each other as we cross the remainder of the parking lot and get in his truck.
I buckle my seat belt and stare at the dashboard.
“Where’s your friend Jenna?” he asks, putting on his own seat belt.
“She left already.” I clear my throat. “Where’s Zack?”
“He went home with Sierra Umbridge.”
I nod, and that’s the end of our conversation. He starts the engine and we pull away from the lake.
Rain beats down on the windshield, pattering in a peaceful way interrupted only by the rhythmic swiping of the wiper blades as we drive along.
Why does rain always look so sad but sound so peaceful?
I prop a foot up on his dashboard like I used to do when life was still good, and my paint-stained shoe reminds me of the first time I ever rode in this truck.
Levi picked me and Charity up from school, and we felt like rock stars, climbing into her big bro’s big truck. He was so proud of getting his license. So sure of himself and happy. It’s a beautiful thing, Levi happy.
My last class of the day was art, and I had paint on my shoes. When I climbed in, I accidentally left a blue shoe print on the floorboard of his new truck, and Levi was pissed.
I felt super bad, but I totally laughed at his attempt at anger. He was awful at staying mad at me. I took my shoes off and held them in my lap the whole ride home, my bare feet feeling oddly intimate against the soft floorboard beneath me.
It seems like a lifetime ago.
The wipers cut across the windshield again and I look down at my feet. The blue shoe print is still there. It’s a little faded by time and dirt, but I can still see it. A reminder of me.
I reach down and trace a finger across the brightest splotch of blue. It’s a gross floorboard and completely grimy, but I can’t help myself.
We stop at a red light, and I can feel Levi’s eyes on me as I stroke the blue stain. He probably thinks I’m crazy. Maybe I am.
Why didn’t he just get new floor mats?
I sit back up and chance a glance at him. The red stoplight glows into the cab as we stare at each other, listening to the sound of rain falling on the windshield. Constant. Steady.
Red turns to green and our eyes pull apart.
40 Levi
I haven’t been in a car with Pixie since the night of the accident, and it all seems too familiar. My shoulders are tense and my knuckles white as they grip the steering wheel.
I clear my throat. “I’m sorry. For taking off after Charity died. I shouldn’t have left.” I clear my throat again because it’s starting to close in. “I should never have left you.”
She watches me for a long moment. “It’s okay. It’s not like I stayed by your side either.”
“I’m still sorry.”
Silence.
I inhale deeply and attempt to make light conversation. “So Ellen says you might transfer to NYU this fall.”
“Yeah. Maybe. If I get in. What about you?” she asks. “Ellen said you dropped out of college after the season ended and haven’t reapplied yet. What happened?”
Dropped out. That’s a nice way of saying it.
“Studying wasn’t exactly my top priority last fall, and I don’t know if I really want to return.”
A long lull follows as we stare at the dark road outside and the rain that blurs it. I manage to get her back to the inn without maiming her and slowly pull into a parking space. I don’t move to get out and neither does she, so we’re sitting in the dim light shining in through the windshield from the inn’s front porch. I can smell her lavender shampoo.
“Thanks for the ride,” she says, still not moving from the car.
I nod. “I’m sorry about everything tonight. Sorry I implied that you were mine. That was lame. I know you’re not anyone’s. I wasn’t trying to be a Neanderthal, I swear. I was just… God, I was pissed at Daren for trapping you in that car and scaring you like that and—”