“What’s wrong, hot stuff?” That got her butch up.
“Nothing! Why? What would be wrong?”
“Oh, I don’t know. You just sound a little… achy.”
There was a long pause, and then Terry said, through gritted teeth, “So I have a couple cramps, so what?”
Rosa made a low femme croon in the back of her throat, not nervous anymore, going on instinct. Rosa knew, deep in her femme heart, that it wasn’t that Terry didn’t want to let anyone in, let anyone see her as vulnerable; it was just that she’d been so burned in the past she couldn’t admit to herself how good it might feel to let someone in. It hurt too much to believe that someone could minister to her, that she could let go of some of that all-important control.
“You can come over if you want,” Terry managed to choke out, then quickly banged down the phone.
“Be right there, baby,” murmured Rosa.
When Rosa pushed open the door to Terry’s apartment, the butch was sitting on her black leather couch, leaning back, legs apart, watching TV. She was wearing boxers and a tank top and had a studied nonchalance about her: Who, me, crampy? To Rosa, she looked like she needed to be curled up in a ball with a blanket over her and Rosa’s hands kneading her sore lower back. She didn’t suggest it, but she thought at it so hard that Terry shifted uncomfortably and brought her legs together. One knee began to jiggle nervously.
“What?” she barked.
“Nothing.” Rosa started to unbutton her blouse, and even in her compromised state, Terry was taking an interest. Underneath, Rosa had on her sexiest bra, her boobies-on-the-half-shell, pink-and-black lace froth bra, Terry’s favorite. She was also wearing the miniskirt Terry once confessed had nearly killed her the first time she’d seen Rosa wear it. No panties. Rosa slipped off her blouse and let it drop to the floor.
Terry cleared her throat.
“You look nice.”
“Thank you. Gonna invite me over?”
The light in Terry’s eyes dimmed and she halfheartedly patted her knees. Probably feeling too tender for any lap sitting, thought Rosa. Poor baby.
When Rosa was thirteen and had first gotten her period, she’d walked on air for weeks. Her pagan, hippie mom had celebrated with her, making her a moon bracelet with twenty-eight antique red glass beads. They were women together now! Even though figuring out the hardware hadn’t been that easy, and even though she sometimes had bad cramps, Rosa loved this longed-for change. Getting her period made her walk differently, her hips moving more, her breasts out and proud, everything about her shouting, “Look out world, there’s another woman on board!” But for Terry? It must have been like dying: the death of all her boyish hopes. What did it mean to her now, sitting there, knowing that Rosa-the-femme was profoundly attracted to the masculine in her, and feeling that most womanly of all feelings, the cramping womb, the blood, the monthly disaster? Rosa’s whole body softened, and a voice in her head said, Gentle, gentle, as she went to Terry and sat on her lap, being careful not to jostle her too much.
Rosa let Terry start. That’s how she had to do it, Rosa could tell, if there was any chance of reaching past the hurt. Terry caressed Rosa’s breasts, licking and sucking the nipples, lifting each one in turn out of the lacy cups. It felt good, of course. Terry was hands-down the best lover Rosa had ever had, but she could tell the butch’s heart wasn’t really in it. Slowly, Rosa snaked her arms around Terry’s neck and started thumbing those delicate hollows at her hairline. Terry’s eyes closed and her hands stilled on Rosa’s breasts. Rosa pretended not to notice, keeping her breathing labored and hot, not that she really had to try. Having her hands on Terry, feeling the tremors go through her as she stroked that most responsive and sensitive of all sex organs—her lover’s skin—always turned Rosa on.
The TV was annoying with its inane chatter, and Rosa managed to step on the clicker to turn it off without dislodging herself from Terry’s lap. Terry dropped her hands to her sides and sank back into the couch. Rosa stroked down her arms, relishing the strong biceps, lingering there until Terry’s lips parted, her eyes closed and she drew in her breath quickly, sinking even deeper into the cushions.
“Mmm,” hummed Rosa. She was wet and juicy and just about now, had Terry been on top of her game, she would have rolled Rosa over and given it to her good, but tonight wasn’t that kind of night. Tonight, it was Terry who needed attention, whether or not she would ever admit it. Rosa didn’t need her to say anything, at least not in words. Terry’s body had been talking to her from the moment she’d walked in. Rosa traced the contours of Terry’s left bicep with one nail, gently cupping the right bicep with her other hand. She pressed both muscles with the pads of her fingers, then danced her fingers down the butch’s arms, forging a teasing, random trail of sensation across Terry’s hands, up her shoulders, around the back of her neck, through her cropped hair. After a bit, Rosa slid to the floor and massaged Terry’s calves. Terry shivered and jerked and gasped as Rosa touched her. Her nipples hardened beautifully through the white cotton of her shirt, calling to Rosa, but she kept her distance. Terry opened her eyes once, but Rosa didn’t meet her gaze, just let her see the curtain of hair falling over her face as she bent to blow a stream of air over the place on Terry’s thigh she had just licked and nibbled. The room grew darker.
After a long, dreamy time, knowing Terry was firmly situated in her manhood now, pulled there in incremental tugs by Rosa’s clever fingers, wet tongue and judicious application of pressure, Rosa took her hand.
“Bath time,” she said.
Terry’s eyes shot open again, and this time Rosa looked. She gazed. She smiled and made another soothing sound, one of those sounds femmes have a whole repertoire of, sounds to soothe the quailing butch. Terry almost smiled back. Then she frowned, looked away and grunted. “But I’m menstruating.”
Well, of course she wouldn’t “have a period” or be “on the rag” or any other girly euphemism. A little bubble of giggles threatened to burst from Rosa’s lips, but she swallowed before it could.
“So?”
“I don’t use tampons.”
Well, of course not.
“So?”
“The water…”
Rosa didn’t say anything else, just placed Terry’s hand up under her skirt on her bare asscheek and led her to the bathroom. Terry couldn’t help but follow, stumbling a little, loose-limbed and confounded.
“Undress,” murmured Rosa as she bent to turn on the water. Terry usually liked Rosa to undress her, but tonight Rosa thought she wouldn’t want that particular intimacy. Kneeling, Rosa ran the bath, poured in bubble bath, laid out the ball made of netting her niece called a “ballerina,” the liquid soap, the sugar scrub. Then she reached behind her without turning and Terry took her hand and quickly stepped in. Bubbles covered her lower half as Rosa gently pushed her head forward and began kissing the back of her neck until she relaxed slightly. Rosa kissed some more until Terry was holding the sides of the bath as if she was afraid she would slide completely under. Rosa soaped up the ballerina and lathered Terry’s back, up and down, side to side. Terry’s leg jerked as Rosa hit a particularly sensitive spot, and water splashed in Rosa’s face. Terry opened her eyes and grinned.
“You have a mustache!” She gently wiped suds from Rosa’s upper lip, and Rosa could feel a shift: Terry was starting to want to take the wheel. Rosa leaned in and let Terry kiss her, and their tongues danced and wrestled until the pressure of Rosa’s hands on Terry’s shoulders made her gasp, draw back, surrender to the massage. Rosa opened the sugar scrub, loving the nasty texture as she stuck her finger in: it was oily and gritty and smelled of sandalwood and roses. She slathered some on Terry’s arms and circled first one and then the other with both hands, slowly down, slowly up, turning and twisting along the way, stopping to draw her nails through the sludge. Both of them were panting. Rosa slopped more scrub on Terry’s back and got into the bath, not bothering to undress. Her skirt floated up as she slotted her body to Terry’s, the feel of Terry’s strong back against her sensitized nipples exquisite. She rubbed her tits through the sugar scrub, her hands around Terry’s waist for purchase. From there, she moved her hands around, finally finding Terry’s lower back with her knuckles and palms.