Still smarting a little from his fall, Koh now crawled up to Sharlayne gingerly. When he was positioned just right, he breathed deeply, then carefully arched his groin above hers. Sharlayne reached up, took his cock and slowly started to pull him into her. Oh wei! She felt fantastic, not like some human masturbation device — like those Geylang whores — but like a woman, just the way Su Lon once was with him. He slowly started thrusting his cock into her, getting the feel of her vagina.
He then began pumping harder, harder, first just with his butt and hips, then with his upper body as well. He was giving her everything he could, trying to fuck her in a way that she would always remember, fucking as if there were no tomorrow.
Because that was the whole point, wasn’t it? There shouldn’t be any tomorrow for Koh Kwan How. This was his perfect exit, this act of lovemaking as fantastic as his very first one with Su Lon, with a girl who looked so much like Su Lon did back then.
As he began thrusting himself fearsomely into her, Sharlayne herself seemed to become more and more excited. Her eyes were shut tight, which should have disturbed Koh, but it didn’t. If that made her feel better with him, even if she was thinking about some boyfriend or pop star, then it was the right thing. He started fucking even more furiously, giving everything he could draw up. His body’s frantic stabs seemed to be moving a beat or two ahead of his breaths and he was starting to get giddy. Was this it then, was this how it would all end? He tried speeding up even more, pushing himself harder, more urgently.
It was then that Sharlayne finally opened her eyes, focused point blank into his so all she could see were his eyes seeing hers and, clutching him desperately by the lower lean of his back, she moaned, “Oh God, fuck me, fuck me hard, fuck me this way forever! ” As he responded to her, his words came out in erratic gasps, pulled out from what reserve wind he wasn’t using for the fucking. “Yes … yes, I’ll … as … hard … as … you … need. As … hard … as. …” He was unable to force out any more words.
Without opening her eyes, she moaned, “Yes, do it, do it — deeper, more deeper. Oh please — all the way.”
Koh plunged as deep as he could into her, pumping with everything he had left in him. His eyes, too, were closed tightly now, yet he saw her face as clearly as he had just a few moments before. “Oh yes, dee … deeper. Here you are, finally — my angel. My lovely, lovely angel of death.” And just as he said it, he burst, his cock pulsating in a sad stutter of throbs. His semen came out in short, painful jerks. He started giving short cries as he came; he realised he must sound like a wounded seal thrown onto a beach. He was fighting to snatch random breaths, his lungs and throat felt seared, his nostrils stung, every part of his body was starting to rebel as pain coursed through him from neck to ankles.
All of which, he realised, meant that he was still alive. His perfect plan had failed.
He felt the need to explain, to apologise, to share one more thing more with this lovely young woman. “I didn’t think I’d … still be able to … ” He stopped, and realised he was crying. After several moments, he forced himself to shut off the tears, then he turned back to explain.
As he did, he realised that she had said nothing since his climax; in fact, she had barely budged. As he finally looked at her, it was as if a huge slap was there just waiting for him to turn around: Sharlayne seemed to be unconscious, eyes closed. Not only that, her breathing was extremely shallow, like that of some people he had seen just before they left.
With all the fretted strength he could muster, he pulled himself up and tried shaking her. At this, her eyes opened slightly and one hand moved weakly to the necklace. She raised it slightly, said, “Thank you again. Very generous,” before her eyelids slid closed once more. This time, she seemed to be hardly breathing at all.
Koh struggled from the bed and made his way to the table where the phone rested. Hands shaking so badly he was barely up to the task, he punched out the number of his one close nephew, Daniel. He had arranged for Daniel to drop by at six, to “pick something up.” Of course, he was supposed to find Koh dead. But that was well over an hour away. Koh needed him there now.
He cursed when the droning buzzes ended with the recorded voice saying, “Sorry, the M1 customer you just called is not responding. Please try again later.” The old man slammed his phone back into its cradle. Stupid, so stupid! Why even have a handphone if you’re not going to leave it on, make yourself available when people need you in an emergency like this?
So, Koh reluctantly called emergency services. And after hanging up, he settled himself into the creaking chair next to the table and stared over at her, his quivering hands set flat on his thighs. Oh my God, this is how I sit at a wake. But that’s not the situation here; she’s young, she’ll be fine, this is most likely just … just what?
Yes, just what was this anyway? For that matter, why had this lovely young woman agreed to come over and have sex with some pathetic old man who had some crazy plan to end his own life? He was well acquainted with his own plan, how beautiful it was, but he suddenly wondered what her reason was for participating. As the heavy moments dragged past, these questions grew more and more vexing for Kwan How.
He pulled himself up, staggered over and stood at the foot of the bed.
Her mouth now hung open; she didn’t seem to be breathing at all. Koh wanted to put his hand to the mouth to test her for breaths, maybe try to feel a pulse.
But at the moment he was terrified to come any closer. He stared, fixed in a state just short of shock. How did this girl end up like this in my bed? Just lying there, maybe dead, she looked — he hated to even visit this thought — but she looked … yes, perfect.
He picked up a blanket from the edge of the bed and spread it over her, to protect her decency for when the medical-emergency team arrived. And he still could not keep from staring at her. She had this amazing look etched into her face. As if she had just achieved something beautiful. And now he imagined that that mouth was open so that she could sing some sublime, silent song. Yes, there was now something irredeemably perfect about this moment. Although it was mainly hers, he had a share of it.
Koh dropped the towel wrapped around his own midriff and climbed onto the bed. He lifted the blanket and started to slide under it. But no, although he ached to touch her naked body again with his, he realised he couldn’t.
He wrapped the blanket tightly all around her, pulled up closer and folded his arm around her. She still felt so warm, looked so lovely here. He rested his head firmly against hers, listening as hard as he could.
At first, he just wanted to hear some breathing, but when he couldn’t detect any, he strained his ears to listen to that silent song he imagined her singing. This was surely the anthem of the perfect exit. When he, too, could hear it, he would know how to reach that point, as she did. He waited.