For once, he was proud of the man he was. “I mean to love her no matter what,” he murmured to himself, to his mother and father if they were listening. “In good times and bad.” Then he went to get the tea with the decision sinking into his heart.
He knew what he had to do.
WHAT WAS TAKING Wilder so long? He’d left to get tea fifteen minutes ago and hadn’t come back. They’d need to leave soon. She glanced over at Dad and he was staring at the screen. Was there a part of him, however locked away, that remembered watching this movie with her every year? This was Christmas to her. The smell of Dad’s bay rum soap, watching old movies. What she really loved best was hearing him laugh. He was normally reserved, but had the sort of laugh that vibrated through you until everything felt good, safe, protected.
She hadn’t heard that laugh in a long time. She’d never hear that laugh again except in her memories. Reaching out, she took his hand and held it. “I miss you,” she whispered. “I miss you so much.”
He glanced over and stared. Nothing registered on his features but his fingers gave a small reassuring squeeze.
Take it as a good sign.
Wilder came into the rec room and Quinn turned, the only person in the room who seemed to register that a new person was here.
“Your tea,” he said, handing her a paper cup with the lid on.
She took it between her hands, holding it up to take a sip. “Peppermint? Yum. Thank you. I’d wondered what happened to you.”
He gave her a strange look. “I had to hunt down someone in the kitchen.”
“To make the tea?” She frowned. “But didn’t you remember that there is a coffee and hot water station near the nurse’s desk?”
“I know,” he said simply. “But that’s not what I needed to see the dietary department for.”
“So what’s up?” she pushed. “You got hungry for a snack?” How could he think of eating? The very idea of putting food in a ten-foot radius of her mouth right now made her insides churn.
“I needed aluminum foil,” he answered.
“I’m so lost right now—Oh. My. God.” She covered her mouth as he dropped to the couch beside her and held up an aluminum ring, twisted to make a circle.
“Quinn Alexis Higsby, I want you to know that, though I might not be able to go down on one knee just yet, I do know this. People use the phrase ‘other half’ and I’ve never known what that means, never understood it until you came into my life. When you are around, you complete me. You make me want to be my best self, the man I never thought I could be. Even as you cause a fire in me, you cool me down. No matter what happens today, I want you to know that you can count on me, all the way, to support you and walk alongside you no matter how hard the path or how uncertain the destination. Mr. Higsby, sir, you raised a heck of a woman, and I promise you here and now that I will treat your princess like a queen.”
“Wilder.” Her throat swelled. “I don’t know what to say. This is all happening so fast. We talked about the future a little but in such abstract terms.”
“For so long I’ve been putting what I want out of the equation. I want you for as long as our forever will be. One day. One year. One long and healthy lifetime. Whatever news you are about to get won’t change that. Surely there could be complications, but me loving you feels like the simplest answer of all.”
“Yes,” she said. “Yes a million times over.”
The words came out before she could overthink or analyze. It felt perfect and even though the little aluminum ring wasn’t what she had imagined during the occasional daydream when she’d pictured a handsome suitor sweeping her off her feet, the reality was that while Wilder was no Prince Charming, he was the prince of her heart and if she wanted a happy ever after, it would be with him.
He slipped the foil ring on, pressing it against her skin. “I’ll buy you a ring soon,” he said. “I promise to do this right.”
“You already have,” she murmured, leaning in to brush her lips against his. “You’ve done better than right. You’ve done amazing.”
“I needed you to know that I’m in this no matter what, because I want to be,” he said before she could say another word. “Because I don’t want to be a hermit anymore.”
Quinn turned to her dad and touched his arm. “Thank you for being such a good man, for teaching me to believe more good men were out there. I doubted I’d ever find a real-life hero, but because of you, I never settled. I love you.”
Wilder glanced to the wall clock. “It’s time.”
The hospital was close. Her heart sped up but when Wilder slid his hand into hers, the strength of his grasp pressed that thin sliver of aluminum foil against her skin and it made her feel less alone.
“I’ll see you soon, Daddy.” She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. She hadn’t called him Daddy in years but right now she felt reduced to a scared little kid, the one who used to cower when thunderstorms roared over the mountains. He’d always tell her the angels were bowling and even though she knew it was silly, the image made her giggle and pushed the scary feelings away.
After they got to the hospital, she took a seat in the waiting room, and passed Wilder a magazine.
“I’m okay,” he said.
“Sorry, I meant please read to me.” She was desperate for distraction.
He glanced down. “Country Homemaker. Okay, let’s see what we can do.”
For five minutes his low voice rumbled about how to make the perfect fruit cake. She clung to every detail from soaking the dried fruit in rum to when to add the molasses.
“Quinn? Quinn Higsby?” a woman called from the doorway.
Quinn stood and Wilder’s hand settled on her waist. He didn’t have to say a word. His touch told her everything that she needed. He was here.
The fact let her keep walking even though it felt like she was on a pirate ship in the Caribbean, tiptoeing along a plank and not looking down. No point making eye contact with the hungry sharks. They’d have their turn soon enough.
The nurse smiled and Quinn tried to evaluate it. Was this a happy smile? Or sympathetic? Stop. She probably didn’t even know.
By the time they were shown into a small waiting room, her heart was beating so loud that she couldn’t hear what Wilder said. His lips moved. His brow furrowed in concern.
“What?”
“Are you all right?”
“I . . .” She had this handled, right? No. Maybe? God, how does anyone handle these last few moments of waiting without coming out of their skin? “I’m going to throw up.”
He dragged over a garbage can and went to the sink, taking a paper towel and running it under the tap. He gave it a quick, efficient squeeze before handing it over. “Wipe your face, it will help make you feel better.”
She wanted to argue but didn’t have the strength. Instead, she did what he said and found that it did feel better. A little cool water on her flushed cheeks. Who knew?
“When I was in the fire,” Wilder said, “I thought the worst would happen. Dying in a fire was my biggest fear and there I was, looking at it happening. And it seemed like my entire life had boiled down to that moment. The thing that scared me, the burning shadow that haunted all my nightmares was going to come true.”
“What did you do?”
“For a moment I gave up,” he admitted. “I decided this was it. I rolled on my back and all I wanted to see was the sky. I figured if I could go out seeing blue then at least that was something. But instead all there was was smoke, thick and heavy, and while it sucked it was good because it cleared my head.”
“What did you do?”
“I said I wasn’t going to be beaten. If it was my day to go, that was fate’s business, but I’d fight until the end.”
“What if I’m afraid?” Quinn’s voice broke.
His features were gentle. How had she ever thought them mean? “Being afraid and fighting back is the true meaning of courage.”