“That’s unbelievably generous of you,” Alan remarked, leaning back in his chair. “I hope Clark appreciates it.”
“He doesn’t exactly appreciate it. But he is smart enough to realize what a break he’s getting. Truth is, I don’t even know if any of this could be pinned on him. I doubt there’s any real evidence linking him to the crimes. It would probably boil down to my word against his. He kept his distance from the actual thieves, using this D’Macio as a middleman. I suppose if D’Macio is ever found and brought in, then Clark would have something to worry about. In the meantime, I’m sure he doesn’t want the authorities crawling all over, sorting through his financial records and snooping into his activities. Who knows what they might find?” Brook sighed. “I don’t even really know the man anymore. He’s a stranger.”
“I remember when I first met you and Clark at the club,” Alan recalled. “You’ve always been viewed by everyone as the golden couple; a couple everyone else looked up to. Someone everyone wanted to be like. You always seemed so much in love that this whole thing has taken me by surprise.”
“You were right. I was in love with Clark, or at least with the man I thought he was. Not the man he really is,” Brook said bitterly. “The man I thought he was is either dead or never really existed. I don’t know which, and I don’t really care much at this point.”
“What about the gang who took you? What’s happening with them?” Alan asked.
“They’ve all been taken into custody, and they’re all turning on each other. The detective handling the case told me they’ll probably plead out. I might not even have to testify.”
“Good. You’ve been through enough already.” He cleared his throat. “I’m so sorry this happened to you, Brook. There’s really nothing a person can say to someone who’s suffered the way you have. I wish I had some words of wisdom to offer you, but I don’t. So, I’ll just say my heart goes out to you, and leave it at that.”
“Thank you, Alan. I’m dealing with it, and it gets a bit easier as time passes." Brook gathered her things to leave. “But, that’s neither here nor there. Is there anything else I need to do while I’m here?”
“No, that should do it for now.” Alan rose from his chair and walked her to the door. “I’ll be in touch.”
Outside, Brook leaned against the side of the building for a few minutes before walking to her car. It had been a mixed blessing opening up to Alan like she had. There was a catharsis, a release, but there was also sadness. And on top of it all, she missed Lance with an intensity that was like a physical malaise, creating a continuous ache throughout her entire body. She had never before experienced anything quite like it. The closest she had ever come to feeling this way was when she had lost baby Lacey Joelle, and her arms had hurt with the longing to cradle her child.
This physical manifestation of her emotions left her drained. She drove back to her hotel in almost a dreamlike state. She had thought talking to Alan would bury her in a swamp of horrific flashbacks from her captivity. Thankfully, it did not. Instead, she was flooded with memories of Lance. She wondered if he missed her as much as she missed him.
As she left her car with the valet, Brook forced her thoughts away from Lance and onto her upcoming trip to Kansas. In a few days, she would be flying into Wichita where her parents would meet her at the airport and drive her to their house in Newton. She looked forward to being in the safe and loving environment of her childhood home. The thought of hugging her parents filled her eyes with tears.
Brook spent the afternoon shopping for regular clothes, the kind of clothes she used to wear before she married Clark. Pretty, sensible, comfortable clothes. ‘Elegant’ wasn’t even on her list as a possibility. She wondered what she would do with all the chic expensive outfits she had taken from her marital home. She no longer had any desire to wear them.
Chapter 57
“Let’s get you out of this pen for a while,” Lance said to Gilbert, who watched him with hopeful eyes from the other side of the fence. She bounded out, kicked her rear feet high in the air, and tried to romp with her owner. But Lance was preoccupied. Gilbert gave up and strolled toward the house, looking around as she went.
“She’s not here.”
The words meant nothing to the goat and she wandered around the cabin peering in the windows. Soon she was back at Lance’s side.
“I don’t know if you miss her,” he said as he patted the goat on the neck, “but I sure do. I feel like half of me has been ripped away. You’ll have to be patient with me, girl. It might take me awhile to get back my stride.”
Gilbert nuzzled his pocket, looking for a treat, but Lance never noticed as he stared up at the sky above Mt.Hazel.
“I can’t believe I let her go, Gilbert.” He closed his eyes for a long moment. “Just drove her to town and let her get on that damn bus. I didn’t even try to stop her. I must have been out of my mind.”
Lance looked down into Gilbert’s uncomprehending gaze.
“Why am I telling you? You’re a goat.”
Lance took a deep breath and turned to his chores with heaviness in his soul while Gilbert followed him hoping only for a treat.
Chapter 58
Brook spent two weeks with her parents. While in Kansas, she made a trip to the pleasant little cemetery and poured her heart out to Lacey Joelle. Perhaps it was only in her mind, but she felt a connection to the spirit of her daughter, a link that brought comfort now rather than grief. The wounds of her loss would never heal completely; they would never go away, but she could think now of her baby without plunging immediately into the depths of despair.
Being with her family brought comfort as well. She decided to spare them the details of Clark’s involvement in her abduction, citing detachment and changes of heart as the reasons her marriage failed. If she told them everything, her father and mother would most certainly go to the police. They wouldn't be able to understand that this way was the best way.
Brook knew what they did not: Clark’s guilt would eat at him; he was a shell of his former self now. She didn't know how long his humble attitude would last. Clark had a way of springing back.
Brook did, however, tell her parents about Lance. Not everything, of course. But enough that they suspected her true feelings for the man. Enough that her parents were grateful to him for saving their daughter’s life. Enough that they wanted to meet him and thank him in person. She discouraged this line of thinking, protecting his privacy.
While Brook was ensconced in the protective arms of her family, she used the days to sort out all that had happened to her, and to ruminate on her feelings for Lance. From this perspective, and distance, she could question their affair. Was it really love they felt for each other? Love she felt for him? Or was it an illusion, the result of unusual circumstances that created a feeling that simply wasn’t real? She and Lance hadn’t had the luxury of a traditional courtship. They were forced together by a bizarre set of events. She had been in desperate need of tenderness. And Lance? Well, he'd been alone for a while and he was, after all, a man. So, was their bond merely situational? Was she wrong about her feelings for him?