“So let me make sure I get this,” Liam said to me as we waited in line at Murphy’s to get some ice cream a couple nights later. “Your best friend is a guy. He likes you as more than just a friend. And your response was to run away to Ireland?”
“Well, when you put it that way …” I tried to joke, but I started to feel a little silly. “There was a lot more going on.”
“Ah, right.” He nodded. “He started to hang out with his guy friends.”
“And was ignoring me,” I reminded him.
I’d decided to open up to Liam about Levi. I figured nothing was going to happen between us; we both had too much baggage. So maybe it would be helpful to get an outside opinion on the subject. But unfortunately, I had a feeling he was going to take Levi’s side.
I guess bros gotta stick with bros.
We placed our orders. Liam always got Guinness and brown bread, which didn’t taste as bad as one would think. I ordered my favorite combination: sea salt and honeycomb.
After we grabbed our cones, I decided to make one last plea for my case. “And remember, I basically don’t see him for months, then we get into a fight and then he comes over and tells me he loves me. It was so out of the blue.”
Liam took a lick of his cone. “Was it really?”
My response was to be really into eating my ice cream. Which I was, but I also didn’t have a proper response.
“But you only think of him as a friend,” Liam stated, and I could tell that he didn’t believe me. “You’re not attracted to him at all?”
“No. I mean yes. I mean, he’s Levi.”
“ ‘He’s Levi’? Is that some sort of Yank expression I’m not aware of?” he teased. “So he’s your best friend. He’s a Levi, whatever that means. I don’t really see what the problem is.”
“It’s difficult.” I began to walk faster to the harbor.
“Yes, you keep reminding me of that. But here’s the thing. It doesn’t sound that difficult. You’re only making it difficult. It sounds like there’s a lot between you. Don’t be afraid to make it even more.”
I smiled tightly, not sure if I should believe him or not. So I played it lightly. “Since when did you become some sort of relationship expert?”
He looked at me amusedly. “ ’Tis common sense, really.”
I faced the harbor, which was lined up with buses bursting with tourists. “So I better go see this dolphin.”
Ever since I’d arrived in Dingle, everybody had been asking me if I’d seen Fungie, the town dolphin. There was a statue of him right next to the information center where Gran worked. I’d gotten my picture taken with the statue my first week there but hadn’t seen Fungie yet.
“It is rather shocking that you’ve been here for six weeks and haven’t gone.” Liam took out his phone and gestured at me to pose for yet another photo by the statue. “Have some pride in Dingle, will ya?”
I sulked next to the statue. “It feels a bit touristy.”
“Right. Because you’re not a tourist.” He snapped the photo. “We’ve got to make sure to get everything in over the next few days. Because you’ll be home soon. So there’s lots to do. Including a decision that needs to be made.”
He didn’t have to remind me.
The next two weeks flew by. Gran and Gramps did everything to make sure I got to see as much as I could before I left. I was almost too tired for my farewell party, but if there was one thing I’d learned during my two months in Ireland, it was that the Irish knew how to throw a good party.
My grandparents’ backyard was transformed into an impromptu music session. We hung up fairy lights around the trees to make it even more magical. Gran and Gramps’s friends, who had become like an extended family to me, started trickling into the backyard. Some of Gramps’s musician friends brought their instruments, and music soon started to fill the cool evening.
Liam arrived with his mom. “Hey, I brought you something to remember me by,” he said. He handed me a CD; the cover was the photo of me with the Fungie statue. I opened up the case and saw a listing of Irish bands he’d introduced me to during my visit. “While I love all things American, we Irish have superior music. Not like you have any Yank bands on your iTunes, you Anglophile. So it’s time you heard some proper, non-U2 Irish bands.”
“Thanks!” I gave him a hug, grateful to have had him around during my visit.
Gramps asked everybody to quiet down. “I want to thank you all for coming here to bid our favorite granddaughter good-bye.”
“Your only granddaughter,” I clarified.
There was laughter from the guests.
“But I think it would only be appropriate to send Macallan off with a parting glass.”
There were nods from their friends, who lifted up a glass. I joined them in the toast, but was unfamiliar with the song they started to play.
Gramps looked at me fondly and began to sing,
Of all the money that e’er I had,
I spent it in good company.
And all the harm that e’er I’ve done
Alas, it was to none but me.
And for all I’ve done for want of wit,
To mem’ry now I can’t recall.
Everybody joined in at this part:
So fill to me the parting glass.
Good night and joy be with you all.
Gran then joined Gramps as he wrapped his arm around her. She sang in a clear beautiful voice:
To all the comrades that e’er I had,
They’re sorry for my going away.
She smiled warmly at me.
And all the sweethearts that e’er I had,
They’d wish me one more day to stay.
But since it falls unto my lot,
That I should rise and you should not,
I’ll gently rise and softly call.
Good night and joy be with you all.
I felt tears rolling down my face. I should’ve been sad about leaving my grandparents and this wonderful place, but the tears weren’t for them.
And Liam knew it. “I’ll make it simple for you,” he said, leaning in. “If you want to be with him, be with him.”
My throat felt tight. “I can’t.”
He shook his head. Liam often teased me about making things difficult — typical American, he’d fondly call me. “I’d ask why, but you and I both know there isn’t any excuse good enough. Stop making excuses and be with him.”
I knew he was right. And it terrified me.
“Do you want to be with him?”
I didn’t think. I answered what I knew was the truth. “Yes.”
“Then be with him.” He got up and joined the group at the front singing.
Good night and joy be with you all.
I was surprised they didn’t hold me at customs since I was so shaky and nervous. As soon as I got my proper entrance stamp and baggage, I bounded for the greeting area. I ran out and didn’t have to wait more than two seconds before I heard Dad, Uncle Adam, and Levi calling out for me. I turned and saw Levi holding a huge sign: BLIMEY IF WE KNOW WHERE MACALLAN IS!