I stare at the phone for a long minute trying to decide if I want to do this. Dale and I went through so much those three days he was searching for me. Maybe it was simply the high pressure that made me feel this way about him.
I close my eyes and think about myself squished into the corner of a jail cell with his arms either side of me. That look in his eyes spoke volumes. I couldn't ignore it... but why hadn't he come to see me?
With an irritated huff, I glance at the paper and dial his number.
Two rings later.
"Hello, Dale speaking."
"Where have you been? Why didn't you come see me the last couple of days?"
"Hey Nicole," his voice is calm and easy. "How's it going?"
"Seriously?! That's all you have to say?"
There's a pregnant beat and then he sighs.
"I came to see you on Tuesday, but your friends beat me to it. I just thought you might need a little space to figure out what you want. I wasn't sure where we stood."
"Where we stood? We just went through all that crap together and you don't know where we stand?"
"Look, you already know how I feel about you. I don't want to pressure you to reciprocate, so I thought I'd let you make the next move."
"You don't know anything about girls, do you?"
"Give me a break, Nicole. I just want you to decide what you want for you... not because of me, not because of your parents... or your dumb ass friends. What do you want?"
"I don't-" I'm about to say know, but stop myself. For the first time in what seems like years I do know what I want and I hate that he's making me say it. I huff. "I want you to call me and see how I'm doing. I don't want to lie alone in a hospital bed all night waiting for you to mop up my tears. I want you to be here to welcome me home. I want you to watch movies with me and hang out and listen to Granite with me. I want to read your book and design its cover. I want you to hold my hand and I want you to kiss me goodbye at the end of the day... and I don't want to have to tell you to do any of this stuff! I can't believe I'm humiliating myself like this. Just forget it. You're an obnoxious ass, Dale."
He chuckles.
I would have done anything for an old fashioned phone right about now. Instead I have to suffice with pushing the End Call button really hard.
Leaning back into the couch with too much force, I wince as pain radiates up my arm. I blink at tears and swear. Swiping them away with an angry hand, I gaze out the huge glass windows and almost forget to spot the fact the tree is gone.
Oh who cares about a damn tree?
I lift my leg off the pillow and start shuffling towards the edge of the couch, aiming for the wheelchair. I grip the edge of it and drag it towards me. Then the doorbell rings. I sit statue still in the living room, straining to hear voices.
"Oh, hi Dale. Come on in."
I miss the next part.
"She's just in the living room."
"Thanks."
I swivel around to face the door and make sure my pissed off face is in place.
The doors slowly slide apart and his gorgeous mop of hair appears.
"Hey." He gives me that smirk I love and it takes a huge amount of effort not to smile at him.
"What do you want?"
Flustered, I try to pull myself up, but the brakes aren't on the chair and it starts to roll away from me. I stumble on my good leg and start heading for an embarrassing finish on the floor.
Dale's there in a second, gently catching me against him. His arm around my waist holds me tightly to his side.
"I want to catch you when you fall." He grins.
I roll my eyes.
"That's the cheesiest thing I've ever heard."
Scooping me into his arms, he nudges the chair out of the way and carries me to the couch, nestling me against the soft pillows and carefully arranging my leg. Taking a seat beside me, he brushes my bangs away and smiles.
"I want to drive you to rehab. I want to be there with you and tell you not to quit when it really hurts and you want to give up."
My insides turn to mush as his words sink in. I blink away the tears as he leans towards me.
"And I want to kiss you every day, but not just because I'm saying goodbye."
My lips stretch wide with a smile as his nose touches mine. We lock eyes for a beat that seems to last an eternity and then his gaze lights with a grin as he places his hand on my neck and gently touches his lips to mine.
I've never felt anything like it.
It's soft, sweet and holds more promise than any other kiss I've ever received.
I place my hand on his cheek, running my finger over his smooth scar and relishing the warmth of his lips on mine.
All I can think is, "I've finally found my way home."
*****
"I once was lost, but now am found.
Was blind, but now I see."
Amazing Grace, John Newton, 1779
For every copy of Betwixt sold, $1 will be donated to Love146.
Love146 works to end the trafficking and exploitation of children who have been thrown into circumstances beyond their control. Their mission is to prevent these atrocities from happening and to help the children who get free, start on a new path — to give them a life filled with hope and promise.
Learn more about Love146 at:
http://www.love146.org
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
As always there are a huge number of people to thank. I have so much support from my family and friends. I feel very blessed. I would like to take a moment to acknowledge a few key people in this project though.
Peter - thank you for my birthday present - two nights away at a hotel all by myself so I could write my little heart out. Your generosity helped me keep my deadline. Thank you a million times over.
Brenda - you're a super star. Thank you for the awesome cover, thank you for your critiques and proof reading. Thank you for being the world's best friend and my most loyal fan. I love you, chick.
Al - thanks for the cover photo. You do amazing work and I'm so pleased that you understood my vision and captured it so perfectly. On that note, thank you to the BotanyLife teens who modelled for me. You guys rock!
Scott & Ruth - thank you for all your medical advice. I really wanted to make sure I was capturing Nicole's injuries realistically. Your advice and guidance was awesome.