I made hot planets with massive wet atmospheres where life lived in the plumes of aerosol geysers. I blanketed rogue planets under thick layers of greenhouse gases and filled them with creatures who survived by joining hydrogen and nitrogen into ammonia. I sank rock-dwelling endoliths in deep fissures and gave them carbon monoxide to metabolize. I made worlds of liquid methane where biofilms feasted on hydrogen sulfide that rained down in banquets from the toxic skies.
And all my simulated atmospheres waited for the day when the long-gestated, long-delayed space-borne telescopes would lift off and come online, blowing our little one-off Rare Earth wide open. That day would be for our species like the one when the eye doctor fitted my vain wife with her first pair of long-overdue glasses, ones that made her shout out loud with joy at being able to see her child from all the way across a room.
-
THE SHORT, HARD NIGHT made for a late morning. I didn’t get Robin to school until ten: another demerit for us both. When I got him there at last, the hardware on my cargo pants set off the security scanner. We had to go to the office to sign the tardy sheet. By the time Robin rejoined his smirking class, he was humiliated.
I rushed from his grade school to the university, where I parked illegally to save time and wound up getting a stiff ticket. I had forty minutes to prep my lecture on abiogenesis—the origin of life—for the undergraduate astrobiology survey. I’d taught the same course only two years before, but dozens of new discoveries since then made me want to start over.
In the auditorium, I felt the pleasure of competence and the warmth that only comes from sharing ideas. It always baffles me when my colleagues complain about teaching. Teaching is like photosynthesis: making food from air and light. It tilts the prospects for life a little. For me, the best class sessions are right up there with lying in the sun, listening to bluegrass, or swimming in a mountain stream.
Over the run of eighty minutes, I tried to convey to a coven of twenty-one-year-olds with a wide spectrum of intellectual abilities just how absurd it was for everything to spring up out of nothing. The alignment of favorable circumstances for the emergence of self-assembling molecules seemed astronomically unlikely. But the appearance of protocells almost as soon as the molten Hadean Earth cooled suggested that life was the inevitable by-product of ordinary chemistry.
“So the universe is either pregnant everywhere, or barren. If I could tell you which, beyond all doubt, would it change your study habits?”
That got a polite, Okay-Xer chuckle out of the happy few who were paying attention. But the rest had signed off. I was starting to lose them. It takes a certain kind of strangeness to hear the cosmic symphony and to realize that it was both playing and listening to itself.
“Here on Earth, it was archaea and bacteria and nothing but archaea and bacteria for two billion years. Then came something as mysterious as the origin of life itself. One day two billion years ago, instead of one microbe eating the other, one took the other inside its membrane and they went into business together.”
I looked down at my notes and came unstuck in time. My wife-to-be, twenty minutes after having me for the first time, was lying with her nose against my floating rib. I love your smell, she said.
I told her, “You don’t love me. You love my microbiome.”
When she laughed, I thought: I’ll just stay here in these parts for a bit. Until I die, or so. I told her how a person had ten times more bacterial cells than human cells and how we needed a hundred times more bacterial than human DNA to keep the organism going.
Her eyes crinkled in love. So we’re the scaffolding, is that it? And they’re the building? Her scaffolding laughed again and climbed on top of mine.
“Without that bizarre collaboration, there’d be no complex cells, no multicellular creatures, nothing to get you out of bed in the morning. The friendly takeover took forever to happen. But here’s the weird thing: It took two billion years to happen. But it happened more than once.”
That was as far as my lecture got. A buzz went off in my pocket—a text from one of the few numbers allowed past my afternoon block list. It was from Robin’s school. My son, my own flesh and blood, had smashed a friend in the face and cracked the boy’s cheekbone. The former friend was in the ER getting stitched up, and Robin was being held in the principal’s office pending my arrival.
I let the class out, ten minutes early. My students would have to figure out the rest of the origin of life on their own.
-
THEY WOULDN’T LET ME SEE MY SON until I sat for my own punishment. Dr. Lipman’s office walls were covered with accreditation. Her desk was not large, but she used it to tremendous effect. The previous two times she called me in, she’d tried empathy and posture-mirroring. This time she was considerably more Excel spreadsheet. She was younger than I was and dressed too well. Ed psych jargon enthralled her. In her own over-professionalized way, she cared about my son. She was a reformer, and she saved herself for the troubled ones. To her, I was a pigheaded scientist damaging a special child by not following established protocols.
She laid out the facts. Robin had been having lunch with Jayden Astley, his only real friend. They were seated across from each other at the long lunchroom table. The feral din of lunch hour gave way to Robin’s shouts. All the witnesses agreed: he wouldn’t quit screaming, Tell me. Tell me, you freaking jerk-face. Just as the lunchroom monitor got to their table to break things up, Robin snapped, scooped up his metal thermos and flung it hard in Jayden’s face. Miraculously it only fractured the boy’s cheek.
“But what happened? What made him go off?”
Jill Lipman stared at me as if I’d asked how life began. “Neither boy will say.” It was clear where she placed the blame. “We need to talk about why this happened right after you took him out of school for a week.”
“I took him out of school to give him a chance to calm down. I doubt my son smashed his only friend’s face because of a week in the Smokies.”
“He missed a week of class. That’s five days in every academic subject. He needs continuity, focus, and social integration. He’s not getting that, and that’s stressful for him.”
He’d missed class when Dr. Lipman suspended him, too. But I listened and kept still.
“Robin needs orientation and accountability. But since his unscheduled vacation, he has been late to school twice.”
“I’m a single parent. When things beyond my control—”
“I’m not passing judgment on your parenting.” Which, of course, she was. “Children deserve a safe, secure, and stable learning environment. Instead, we’re all coping with a violent assault against another child.”
A fractured cheekbone. A painkiller and an ice pack, and Jayden was fine. I fractured my own cheekbone, on the monkey bars, when I was seven, back when schools had monkey bars.
Anger makes me clam up. It’s a deep-seated trait, one that has often saved me. Dr. Lipman’s strange little lips moved, and stranger words came out. “You have a child with special needs. When all this happened the last time—”
“This didn’t happen, the last time.”