"Seems to me this spread begs to be clarified-with cards chosen by the person they concern," I added pointedly. "While I understand your wanting me to bring Billy back, I can't accept that I'll be mourning him once the three of you-so aptly depicted by these prearranged queens and merrymakers-have had your way with him! This is my future we're talking about!"
Pandora's dark eyes widened, yet she sat with a calm resignation-as though she had anticipated my reaction and would accept whatever the cards had to say. I couldn't believe she wanted my romance with Billy Tripplehorn to end in tragedy…but I'd never known her to lie to me, either. She and Perfidia and Pink could only play the roles their twisted fates had assigned them, no matter how badly they wanted a happy ending for me.
As was our ritual, I held the shuffled deck between my hands and closed my eyes, breathing deeply to clear my mind and soul…focusing on the positive powers the Tarot could reveal, if we truly believed our psychic energies passed through the cards. This ancient method called for placing my additional cards in the reverse order, starting with that dark card of mourning.
I flipped the top card and my breath caught. "Ten of Swords," I rasped, for the picture of a man in a pool of blood, with those swords piercing his prone body, looked even more intimidating than the woman in the cloak…illustrating Billy's fate and mine all too graphically.
Pandora squeezed my wrist. "Tens always signify the end of a cycle, dear," she reminded me. "Could be this card ends the girl's mourning, or the fears in the card before it. We can't really interpret until we have the whole story."
But the card I placed on that Fear card was the Ten of Wands-a man so overburdened by his armload of ten wooden poles that he appeared unable to walk another step. "Not a very uplifting companion for the girl held hostage by those swords on the Fear card. Are you telling me Billy will suffer as badly as I before you three are finished with us?"
Pandora nipped her lush lip, gesturing for me to place the next card. "The Devil," she whispered, but she forced a smile. "Well! We must remember that the couple chained to his perch have forged their own bonds from their fears and obsessions and bad habits. Since this position indicates what others think of our situation with with Billy, it doesn't matter so much, anyway. What's your next card?"
I wasn't fooled one bit by Pandora's brushing off that ominous card. The hairy, horned ruler from Hell joined those three dancing maidens, painting a clearer picture for me: while a Major Arcana card indicated forces beyond most folks' control, the Three P's were indeed in league with that Devil as they wielded their own dark powers. Even a novice could see those ladies were raising their cups to toast their own victory…and my damnation.
"Three of Swords," I muttered, my pulse now thundering in my head. "All of them plunged through that heart, to indicate heartache and disappointment for the two lovers we've already overturned. And next we have…The Magician, to cover that bold, charging Knight of Wands. But he's upside down."
"So his wand and the tools on his table have lost their power," Pandora interpreted, "which indicates a situation gone wrong-or one he doesn't want to follow through to its completion."
"That couldn't be why our Knight chose to leave us, now could it?" I asked bitterly. I was feeling more anxious by the moment, wishing I hadn't taken up the cards and wondering if somehow, Pandora still had power over how they came up. "And joining our overturned Bitch of Swords we have-The Emperor. We could certainly use his authority and leadership, but he's looking awfully outnumbered among the conniving females around him. And to clarify The Empress, we have-The Tower! My God, the Devil himself shuffled these cards!"
The image of a lightning bolt striking a tower, sending its dismayed inhabitants flying from their high places, drew a dark picture…another card of forces beyond my control, which only reinforced my feeling of doom. I was wishing I'd left Pandora's original spread alone, but it was too late for regrets. I had to deal the final three cards to complete the Tarot's message, no matter how bleak my picture seemed.
"Never forget that The Tower indicates a surprise-which can be a positive bolt from the blue as easily as a negative one. And again, this position represents the past-events and situations that have already passed away."
I just didn't like it…if that Empress did indeed represent Lucy Legg, then what sort of surprise had she pulled on us? Her pregnancy, which compelled her to trap Billy when the Judge could catch him? Or did that fair-haired girl represent someone else pulling the unseen strings of Fate? If Pandora really had manipulated the original ten- "Your next card is The Lovers, Andrea-your destiny, no matter what the other parts of the picture have to say." The raven-haired temptress studied the layout on the table with that unruffled sense of rightness mystics often possess, and then glanced up to prod me along. "She who hesitates is lost, Andrea. It's not like you to waver in the face of adversity-before we even have the whole picture Destiny has painted."
But the Seven of Swords, a sneaky thief indicating deception and trickery, did nothing to improve the overall imagery-nor did the reversed card featuring Justice in her red robe, which covered the Queen of Cups. For Justice overturned couldn't guarantee that Pandora's powers would help good prevail over evil…or that my love for Billy would bring about the happy ending I so desperately wanted. Indeed, I saw it slipping away as we brought this reading to an end.
"Reversals are merely lessons we still need to learn, sweetheart, for none of us has achieved mastery or complete control over any given situation," Pandora intoned like a doting mother. Impatient for the final card, she herself took it off the top of my deck and placed it over the Queen of Wands representing Alexandrea Moore-who seemed ineffectual indeed, surrounded by so many negative energies and images.
"The Fool," she pronounced, quietly perusing the entire story portrayed in symbols on her table. "So-you are embarking on a new journey, dear! You've found a man to love-a path we've all hoped you'd follow someday! You've fallen hard for Billy Tripplehorn-as well you should, for he's a bold, handsome young knight who-"
But I wanted none of the frosting she spread over this bitter, inedible cake. "But The Fool's reversed-like so many of the powerful cards here!-which indicates his innocence and joy are turned to ignorance or unwise choices as he steps down his path! I'm wondering why a person of any intelligence believes this claptrap anyway, dammit! After all, I earned my legal degree and have made a productive life for myself on the power of my own mind!"
Pandora stopped rhapsodizing to look me straight in the eye, like a mother warning her wayward child of punishment to come. "I've always known you wanted to break away, Alexandrea-to lead the life of most normal mortals, despite the privileges we Sisters have bestowed upon you. But wanting your freedom too fast, before you're ready for it, can only lead to frustration and danger. The Fool's ready to step off the edge of that cliff and doesn't even know how far he can fall! Not a pretty lesson to learn, is it, my dear?"
I wanted to bolt from the room, to turn my back on the mysteries this sorceress had set into motion with the wave of her invisible wand! Yet her gaze compelled me to stay for the final truth she would reveal. "What are you telling me, Pandora? That you can save me from the fate of that girl in the black cloak? That you can control Perfidia and Pink-and your own demons-if I convince Billy to come back, because I love him?"
Her alabaster face froze in time, beautiful but oh so cold as she regarded me. Plucking the rest of her deck from my hand, she replied in a brittle voice, "Maybe you'd better forget about Billy, Alexandrea. Maybe we all should."