She did the cowardly thing and stayed put, carefully smoothing each strand of hair into its place in her braid as she rested her gaze safely on her own hands. “I knew the sectors were all different, but I hadn’t realized how different. Are they all like that? Each its own little world?”
“Kind of. Three’s not so different from us, and Six and Seven are a lot alike.”
“It’s so much to learn.” With the end of her hair tied off, Noelle had no choice but to look up. “I’m still trying to understand the rules here.”
One corner of Lex’s mouth quirked up. “Is that why you’ve been sitting at my vanity for way too long, looking nervous as hell? You don’t know if you’re supposed to sleep with me?”
Yes, trying to hide things from Lex was pointless. Noelle flushed but refused to look away. “Mostly, yes.”
Lex gestured to the bed. “Are you unsure about whether or not you’re invited, or concerned that I might try to fuck you?”
“Try?” Noelle wrinkled her nose. “You’d succeed. I just…don’t know the rules. You know, with Jasper? With me? If he expects…” She was afraid to finish the sentence, afraid to see sympathy in Lex’s eyes. For all Noelle knew, Jasper was in bed with another woman right now. It didn’t feel like something he’d do…but he hadn’t come to Lex’s room, wondering where she was, either.
“If he expects…?” Lex asked leadingly, then stuck the toothbrush in her mouth.
She didn’t know if Lex honestly didn’t understand, or was forcing her to say it. “If he expects me to be…faithful.” That made her sound like a loyal pet, but she didn’t know a better word. Surely monogamous couldn’t apply, not when most of their sexual encounters had involved other people. “He’s said some things, but not exactly about that.”
Lex rinsed her mouth and then the toothbrush. “What’d he do, tell you not to mess around with anyone else?”
“Not exactly,” she repeated, remembering the night of the fight. He’d come on her face and she’d been so wet she ached when he told her to keep her fingers out of her panties. She’d spent half the night pressing her thighs together and listening to Lex’s breathing, as turned on by the command and denial as she had been by touching him.
It wasn’t explanation enough. Lex was still watching her, so Noelle clutched at the hem of her T-shirt. “The night before I got my cuffs, he told me not to touch myself.”
Lex’s brows drew together in a stormy frown that slowly smoothed into an expression of understanding. “Oh—not without him.” She wrinkled her nose again, this time with a laugh. “Damn, that’s hot. I’m impressed.”
A little of the tension knotting Noelle faded, even as her cheeks burned. “It was hotter than I expected it to be. And then the next day…” She shivered. “That was the most I’d ever felt, until last night.”
“I didn’t know he had it in him.” Lex flipped off the bathroom light, climbed back into bed, and patted the mattress beside her. “No wonder you’re spinning.”
Switching off the vanity light plunged the room into darkness, but just enough light snuck under the door to the hall for Noelle to navigate to the bed. Lex’s features were a vague outline mostly in shadow, and knowing hers would be similarly shadowed made it easier to talk. “Sometimes he talks like he wants to own me. And that shouldn’t be okay. I shouldn’t like it, because that’s what they wanted to do in Eden. Own me.”
“Does it feel the same?”
“No. But does that matter? Isn’t it still being trapped, in the end?”
“Maybe.” Lex traced a gentle fingertip over the ink encircling Noelle’s wrist. “You’re an O’Kane now, for good or bad. Does that make you feel sad and stifled?”
“No. A little nervous, maybe.” She told Lex what had happened with Dallas at the bar, and admitted what she hadn’t told Rachel. “The more I thought about it, the more I realized I do know. Things my mother taught me so I’d be able to help my father and my future husband, things that could hurt the important men in Eden. Not just allergies, but secrets. Scandals. Dreams that they’ll compromise for, and weaknesses in their families that a smart woman could exploit.”
“Or a smart man, like Dallas.”
“Or a smart man.” Noelle caught Lex’s hand and twined their fingers together. “They’re not all corrupt. One or two of the councilmen try, and even the bad ones… Their wives and children are as helpless as I was. I don’t want to hurt people unless it means protecting us.”
“Oh, honey. I know.” Her fingers tightened around Noelle’s. “At some point, he’s going to ask, though. It’s bound to happen.”
She swallowed and closed her eyes. “I’ll have to tell him, won’t I? I made a promise.”
“You wouldn’t want to try to lie,” Lex agreed quietly. “Especially if he came to you for information like that, because he wouldn’t do it unless he had no other choice.”
“I don’t want to lie. I want to trust him.” And that was the crux of it, the part that felt foolish and hopelessly ingenuous. “I want to tell him everything and believe he wouldn’t hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it, not unless he had no other choice. Does that make me stupid?”
“Not stupid. An optimist.” Lex nestled closer, curling up behind Noelle. “You don’t know yet. How hard Dallas has to work to keep life around here the way it is.”
As comforting as Lex’s warm body was, Noelle missed the heavy press of Jasper’s arm. Both nights she’d slept with him, he’d tossed it over her body, pinning her in place with an unconscious sort of possessiveness. She didn’t have to be pressed tightly to his side to wallow in his warmth because he exuded heat.
She hadn’t seen him since that morning, and she missed him. “I guess the men work hard. The women too, I mean…but the guys seem to be gone a lot.”
“They’re around more than you think.” Lex laughed and nuzzled the back of Noelle’s neck. “You don’t have to wait for him to come to you, you know. If you want him, go get him.”
Noelle bit her lower lip. “What if there’s someone else in his bed?”
“Do you suspect there is, or do you want me to tell you if that’s how Jasper operates?”
“Is it?”
“No.”
Noelle exhaled and clung to Lex’s hand. “Go get him? Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
It could work. Maybe it would even help. All the questions about her ability to say no might matter less to Jasper if she was busily, aggressively saying yes.
First she had to figure out how. “Lex?”
Lex rubbed Noelle’s arm. “Yeah?”
“Will you teach me to dance?”
“Sure, if you want. You don’t like hauling drinks?”
Noelle laughed. “I don’t mind it. And I don’t know if I’ll be any good at dancing, but I want to learn how to be like you. Sexy and strong and seductive. Proud of it.”
But Lex only snorted. “It’s all in the presentation, remember?”
“Then you can help me with that too.” Lex wouldn’t see her flushed cheeks and smile, but she could probably hear the amusement and embarrassment in Noelle’s voice. “I apparently have a lot to learn about where jewelry goes.”
“Short answer? Wherever you want to put it.”
“Lex!”
“What?” She laughed. “It’s true.”
Tomorrow, Noelle would find some jewelry. Maybe she’d even let Lex show her how to wear each piece—or where. If Jasper had a problem with that, he’d have to do something about it.