She saw Audrey's reflection in the glass.
The girl's face was placid, a mask as concealing as the mask she herself wore.
"Audrey," she said on impulse, and the girl came swiftly to her.
"Audrey, I have often wondered what brought you here. Forgive me, Audrey, and do not answer if you prefer not to. It may be that you do not wish to speak of terrible things.”
Audrey's grey eyes filled with tears.
"You are so kind. Madam.”
"Kind!" Carolan laughed at herself in the glass. Not kind, not Selfish, and sometimes cruel and scheming and... "I wouldn't have believed anyone could be kind like you are," said Audrey.
"Not if it hadn't been for her. She talked to me ... she talked to me special, she did. She said, "Never despair, Audrey ... Life can't be all cruel," she said.
"That wouldn't be human nature. There's good and bad, bad and good.
Look for the good, Audrey!" She spoke to me special.”
"Audrey, you were at Newgate?”
Audrey nodded. She began to shiver. Carolan shivered too. The memory was such as to make one shiver after nearly twenty years.
"Tell me, Audrey... Tell me...”
The story came out by degrees. It was an ordinary enough story; Carolan had heard many like it in Newgate, and on the convict ship. The daughter of unknown parents, left on the doorstep of a lodging-house, where she was taken in because she might be useful; five years old. scrubbing floors, seven years old a fully fledged drudge; blows and curses; learning to steal, food first, then other things; then running away and eventually ending up in Mother Somebody-or-other's kitchen. The usual story of crime and violence. An innocent child turned into a criminal by a brutal system. She had been in the bridewell; she met people in the bridewell who said they would help her when she came out.
They did help her to go lower.
Carolan was fascinated by the expressions which crept over the girl's face as she talked. Depravity, cunning, lewdness... another Audrey posed before her. Her placidity was a veil which she lifted, and something horrible peeped out.
"And finally Newgate?" said Carolan, for she wished she had not started this.
Carolan had a picture of the girl's facing that crowd of wild beasts.
She thought of Esther, naked before them, of Kitty's going down, of herself and poor Millie bloody with battle. But this girl would have been prepared; she would have been one of them. She would be no innocent when she went to Newgate.
Audrey covered her face with her hands.
Carolan said: "And you drove from Newgate to the ship. It was horrible. My poor Audrey! Perhaps the most horrible ... because free people laughed at you and did not care. But do not think of it any more; it is too depressing.”
Audrey uncovered her face, and the veil of placidity was drawn over it again.
"We drove in a closed carriage. She said we must..." Audrey was herself now, the quiet, discreet maid.
"Who said it?" asked Carolan.
"She did.”
And Audrey told the incredible story about a lady who must surely be an angel. Carolan had not suspected Audrey of lying before.
"She walked in one day," said Audrey. The turnkey opened the door and he said: "Lady, you go in at your own risk. There's wild beasts in there!" And she walked in ... like an angel with the most beautiful smile you ever saw in your life, M'am. And she picked up one of the children, and he hadn't got no clothes on at all, M'am, and his face was half eaten away with sores, and she picked him up like she was his mother. And she was beautiful, M'am, though not as you're beautiful.
But beautiful different, M'am... beautiful like an angel would be...”
Audrey was romancing. If you had spent horrible weeks in Newgate, you knew it was no place to harbour angels. The poor child had had an hallucination.
"Audrey, finish your work and leave me. I wish to be alone." She picked up the fragments of Marcus's letter. What impudence! Of course I shall not meet you. And what would you do if I did? You would flatter; you would tell me you had never forgotten me, doubtless. You would ... She tried to still the absurd fluttering of her heart. It was not Marcus of whom she was thinking, she assured herself, but of that absurd flight of fancy of her maid. Newgate did something to you, turned the brain. If you stayed there too long, doubtless you would suffer from hallucinations.
A lady ... like an angel. She walked into that den of savages and she picked up one of the babies, naked, with his face half eaten away with some disease. Surely an angel... "Audrey!”
Audrey came over and stood before her.
"Who told you this story of a lady who was an angel?”
"I see it... I see it myself, M'am. He says to her: "Lady, you go in at your own risk," he says, and she walks in. And her skirt rustled like an angel's wings, and we was all afraid of her and somehow glad.
And she picks up one of the babies..." Did anyone else see this... vision?”
"But M'am, they all see. They was all there ... She wasn't no vision, M'am. She was Mrs. Fry!”
"I have never heard of Mrs. Fry," said Carolan.
"You will. Ma'am! The lady ... another what come ... said you will.
She come and read to us sometimes ... and then there was the needlework, and she said: "One day everybody will know about Mrs. Fry, know what she's done for you poor souls." Why should one waste one's time talking to a crazy maid! She slipped the torn pieces of paper into her pocket. I shall not go. Of course I shall not go.”
Katharine was missing all day. She was with her lover of course.
Carolan was tired and weary. She retired early and gave instructions that Miss Katharine was to come to her when she returned.
Katharine was sullen, already defiant, ready to forget the care of years for the sake of Marcus's son.
"I wonder you're not ashamed, chasing all over the countryside after that young man!”
"I am not ashamed, and do not chase after him. We met.”
"What do you think Sir Anthony will say if he hears?”
"I do not know, and I do not care!”
"You are a stupid girl, Katharine. Have you thought of what Sir Anthony is offering you?”
"Oh, Mamma. As if I wanted to be offered anything! Do not be so dreadfully behind the times. I suppose, before you married Papa, you decided it was right and proper that you should, and everything was just as it should be. People aren't like that... so much ... nowadays, thank heaven.”
Carolan's face was hot with shame. It was almost as though Lucille Masterman was in the room, laughing at her. All right and proper! That was funny. If Katharine knew it. And it was all for her I did it! Oh no. Carolan, for yourself as well. No, for my child; I could not have my child born without a name. I did all that for her, and see how she repays me? She deceives me, she flouts my authority! She is threatening to run away with a boy who will never be any good to her, because he is his father's son.
And Marcus and I will be related in some ridiculous way, and I shall have to see him, and... and... It was for her I did it this ungrateful girl, this wayward daughter. If she marries Henry Jedborough, it is the end of peace. It is Marcus coming back into my life. She must not marry Henry!
"You cannot marry without our consent," said Carolan coldly, 'and I assure you you will never have it.”
"Do you imagine you can keep us apart?" How like me she is! How her eyes flash! This is Carolan again, with her first love. Everard.
"We shall refuse our consent, your father and I.”
"My father, would give it if, you would. He would help us, I know.”
"Your father is all in favour of your marriage to Sir Anthony.”
"But you could make him in favour of my marriage with Henry.”
"As if I would! You are a stupid child. You know nothing of the world.”
"Does one need to know the world in order to know whom one wants to marry? You will be telling me next that unless one has been in England one cannot pick one's mate!”