Millie waited expressionlessly, but when talking to her, Carolan had discovered that, if a sentence became too complicated to finish, it was possible to trail off without comment from Millie. She did this now, but she was determined nevertheless to add Millie to those people whom she must help during her stay in London.
The morning was speeding up, and Carolan did not notice until later that not once had the shop door bell rang.
At midday she carried a tray upstairs to her mother's room.
"Come in!" said Kitty sleepily, and Carolan went in.
It was something of a shock, remembering Kitty's room at Hare-don. Then of course there had been Therese to fold up her things. Now, the dress Kitty had worn the previous night lay on the floor, and undergarments were strewn beside it. The room smelt musty.
Carolan said: "You are shutting out the sunshine; I'll draw the curtains better than that.”
"Don't open the window, darling," said Kitty fearfully.
"I do not trust the morning sat.”
"Scarcely morning now, Mammal Did you not hear the clock strike twelve?”
"Did it? I am a lie-abed. And you have brought me a tray; that is nice. Much nicer than that foolish Millie's bringing it!”
"A cup of chocolate to begin with," said Carolan.
"Do you like that?”
"I adore chocolate, darling. Bring it here. Hand it to me, there's a love ... But first give me the mirror ... Goodness gracious! I do look a sight, do I not?”
She looked old, thought Carolan, untidy; and she had put on so much weight. The lace of her bedgown was draggled, and there were chocolate stains on it. But the voluptuous bosom, showing through the lace, was white as ever. She looked the picture of indolence, the beauty who is ageing, who has fed too well on the sweets of life and shows signs of it in her face.
Kitty grimaced into her mirror.
"How do you find I look, darling? Have I aged much?”
"Scarcely at all, Mamma," lied Carolan.
"You have put on flesh though.”
"Ah! But in the right places, as Therese used to say! What happened to Therese?”
"I do not know. She went.”
"And poor Sambo?”
"He went too.”
"And that beast, Jennifer?”
"She fell down the stairs one night... dead drunk.”
"Serve her right, the wicked creature! Carolan, there is one thing I always wanted to know. Did she beat you?”
"Sometimes.”
"You should have told me... Why did you not?”
"I do not know," said Carolan, and thought of Millie and felt inadequate and suddenly humble.
"She will never beat you any more, Carolan. Give me my chocolate, child. I do not care for it cold." She drank greedily.
"Ah! This is good! You make better chocolate than mad Millie does.”
"Mamma... you are not sorry you ran away?”
"Ran away from Haredon? My child, how can you ask? Of course not. I would follow your father to the end of the earth!”
There she sat leaning back on her pillows, carefree, thinking of nothing but that Carolan made better chocolate than Millie.
"But, Mamma, this is so different from Haredon!”
"I do not wish to return, nevertheless. Of course, I miss Therese.
What a wonder she was! Certainly I miss her. But I hated the squire, darling. Your father is my true husband.”
"He is a dear," said Carolan.
"You are fond of him already?”
"He is so gentle, so ... everything that one would hope a father might be. But, Mamma, this place ... is it ... is it... a good business proposition?”
Kitty laughed.
"La, child! Do you expect me to understand what is and what is not a good business proposition? I was never clever enough; I leave that to your father.”
"He seemed to me a little worried.”
"Worried! Indeed he is not! He is very happy here... with me ... and I am happy. All those long years I waited for him, did I not? Waited and grieved, and he came for me as I knew he would... but the waiting was hard...”
Carolan smiled at her with tolerant affection. How fortunate to be able to believe just what you wanted to believe. Dear Mammal No wonder she had had so many lovers; she would make each feel that he was the best, the only one that mattered, while the others were mere episodes.
And she would make that belief possible, because she herself believed it so sincerely.
Carolan tried again.
"Everything down there is in such a jumble, Mamma, so untidy. The shops I passed on my way here had wares displayed temptingly in their windows. Ours is not very attractive... not even very clean.”
Kitty leaned on a plump elbow and surveyed her daughter. She began to laugh.
"What a little wiseacre you have become, Miss Carolan. So solemn. It is no use trying to make me solemn, I warn you. I positively refuse to be. Why, what should I have been now, had I allowed trifles to worry me? Old. Haggard! With a million lines about my face!" She picked up the mirror and looked at her reflection smilingly.
"Whereas ... I am ... I refuse to tell you how old I am, Carolan! And you should be ashamed to ask me! When I think of all I've gone through ... the weary waiting for your father... and then, after we came together again...”
"Yes." said Carolan eagerly, seating herself on the bed, 'afterwards, when you came together?”
"There was a terrible time I went through! Poverty! My child, you have no conception of what poverty I suffered. I... who had always previously been so free from want. Even when I was with Aunt Harriet and I can tell you I suffered in that hell-cat's house, my dear even then I had enough to eat!”
"Mamma! Were you and my father starving, then?" Kitty was rocking to and fro on the bed in an agony of remembrance.
"It was terrible! Terrible! The filthy lodging-houses! The dreadful food.... and then no food at all. Your poor father used to say: "Kitty, it would have been better had you stayed at Haredon!" I answered: "Indeed not! My place is by your side, Darrell. No matter what I must suffer, that is where my place is!" ' Was it really true, wondered Carolan, or was she playing another part the faithful lover?
No I There must be a modicum of truth in it.
"Did he do no work then, Mamma?”
"He worked for a merchant. He worked along the wharfside." She shivered and covered her face with her hands. Then she removed them and smiled radiantly.
"But why do we talk of it? Now all is well.”
"Ah, Mamma! Are you sure all is well?”
"My child! Oh, my solemn little darling! Of course all is well. We have the shop now. Your father says the shop will make our fortunes, and your father was never a man to adorn a tale. He says that after a short stay here in this perfectly frightful neighbourhood ... And let me tell you, Carolan, it is frightful, and you must always remember should I and your father forget to lock up the doors and lower windows every night...”
"There is so much I do not understand," said Carolan.
"It is such a queer sort of shop... without any customers.”
"You must not worry your head over it, Carolan - I do not. I trust in your father. He has promised me a house in the country with servants to wait upon me, and he is not a man to make promises lightly, that much I know. Oh, Carolan, what a happy day when we leave this place! I can see the house I shall have ... I can see it clearly ..." Her manner changed suddenly. Now she was gracious, full of dignity, receiving her guests at the top of a wide staircase; and that image was more real to her than this tawdry room and her daughter, sitting there on the bed.
Kitty stopped dreaming abruptly and said: "My dear, pass me that wrap, and I will have a little more of the bacon.”
She ate heartily.
"I am glad," said Carolan, watching her, 'that you do not regret leaving Haredon.”
Kitty laughed.