When their conversation was finished, Narayan — dressed in a black coat, white pants, a bow-tie under his starched white collar, and with a gown and some files in his hand — came downstairs with Gangu, who was behind him. She touched Dinakar's feet and asked in Hindi, ‘Will you come in the evening? Your Prasad said that he wanted to meet you.’
Noting with admiration the Hindi she had learnt in school, Dinakar agreed to come. Narayan said, ‘Gangu's house is close by. Just walk on the road opposite to our house for a while, then turn to your right, and soon you will come to a mailbox. From there, turn to your left and go a little distance, until you see the Syndicate Bank. If you stand in front of the bank, you will see a narrow pathway to the left. Hers is the fifth house on the path. It is named “Rishikesh.” A fitting house for Prasad,’ Narayan said, laughing.
Dinakar suddenly remembered their visit to Sivananda's ashram in Rishikesh. One day Narayan, carrying a howling Gopal, went with Sitamma back across the bridge, and Dinakar and Gangu had unexpectedly enjoyed a rare moment of privacy. And this was the same Gangu who now stood before him expressionlessly.
Then Narayan said, ‘Never mind, Gangu, better to send Chandrappa along with Dinakar, let him not lose his way,’ and turning to Dinakar, he added, ‘Come with me now to the office, I must speak to you. I will send you back later in the car.’ He took Dinakar's arm and led him to the car. Gangu stayed back to share her news with Sitamma.
While driving, Narayan talked to Dinakar as if he had just been saved from a big crisis. Gangu had told him how afraid she had been that morning when she saw Prasad with his head shaved. But after finishing his musical practice, Prasad touched her feet, stood up before her and said, ‘Let Narayan Tantri start coming home. I will also live at home, although I will go away sometimes and stay at other places.’ He also told her that he didn't want the attachment even of saffron robes.
‘Do you understand, Dinakar? This was the first time he ever spoke my name to Gangu. She could hardly believe it. And Prasad spoke of me with affection and calm. He has shed his hatred of me. Gangu told me all this with tears in her eyes. When the son becomes a great ascetic like Adishankara, stands before his mother looking like a bestower of fearlessness, would not his mother feel as if she had been given a new birth?
‘Gangu told me, “You don't have to tie a mangalsutra around my neck for the sake of appearances.” She also told me that, feeling it was an auspicious moment, she revealed to Prasad the truth about you. That is why Gangu said that you should go and bless him. That's why she called you home. Gangu is a great woman.’
Dinakar felt awkward, hearing Narayan speak with such intensity. Yet in Narayan's words and gestures there was now the ease of one who had been relieved of a great embarrassment. ‘I wouldn't be able to achieve the nobility or poise or tactfulness of a man like Narayan who faces crises living in samsara. A man like me is not the man to be morally righteous.’ Feeling humbled, Dinakar followed Narayan into his office.
Narayan showed his grand office to Dinakar with pride. There were many clerks, large books, and files. Dinakar admired everything, shook Narayan's hand and, driven by one of Narayan's clerks, came back home.
‘Are you not well?’ asked Sitamma. She mimed eating, and showed him that she was preparing kesu leaf for lunch.
BOOK THREE
23
Radha was weaving a garland of jasmine with banana fibre. Shastri, watching her, said, ‘Saroja used to get completely absorbed when she wove jasmine flowers. When she sang, she looked like a Devi.’ Then, pacing around the veranda, he added, T wish Mahadevi could see her daughter again.’ Radha stopped weaving the jasmine and silently prayed, ‘Bhagavan, let the moment that I have been waiting for be now.’
It was morning. The young sun rode over clouds, and its early rays shot through now and then. The air was pleasant, and the tidied veranda clean and cool.
Shastri walked about the veranda twice more and said, ‘Radha? ‘He stood silently for a while, clasping his hands behind his back. ‘Is he my son? And even if he is my son, would he accept me as his father? He looks like one who may be searching for his father in God’. I can only pray that he should succeed. Whether he is my son or not, he seems to be one who can give me a new life. I wish, by God's grace, that the howling within me would stop.’
∗
Shastri's blossoming continued as Radha, weeping, revealed the secret that she had been hiding within her.
24
Being a rich landlord, Shastri had placed his daughter in Mangalore College for study. Mangala was an intelligent girl, and he desired that she should have a good education. Mahadevi, anxious to guard her daughter's virtue, had wanted her to stay with a relation. But Shastri had abruptly dismissed her worry. There wasn't anyone he cared to send his daughter to, therefore he put her in a hostel. As a result of this freedom, she became friendly with a boy who was a very good debater. She herself was a bold girl, good at debates, and in her zeal for debating she developed a passion for politics as well. The boy, born in a poor family of the Malnad Halepyka caste, was intelligent enough to have got a scholarship to study engineering. He was handsome, sported a beard, and dressed attractively in kurta and pyjama.
He had caught the attention of everyone by changing his name from Thimmaiah to Charvak. It was like an addiction for him to attract people's attention by doing something or the other. He would always use new, striking words to denounce landlords and casteism. Radha had no understanding of such things. She only knew that Mangala had told her that Charvak had gone even further than a Communist. Mangala was very impressed by Charvak's arguments, which also happened to give support to her dissatisfaction with her father. When she came home, even though urged by her mother, she wouldn't bow down to God. And she would argue that all brahmins were like leeches. Both Mahadevi and Radha took care not to repeat her ideas to her father.
The change in Mangala's thinking made her feel close to Radha. She even insisted on eating in Radha's house. Radha wasn't happy to encourage this, but she couldn't refuse her food. Mangala had also confided in Radha about Charvak. ‘We don't believe in marriage. We will work secretly to bring about a unity among all people and make revolution,’ she had said. In the beginning, when Mangala talked like this, Radha didn't believe her. But finally she became convinced that this mad girl was truly serious. She was not like other Mangalore girls. She had no interest in ornaments or clothes, and would make fun of people who were fashionable. She had even made Radha feel that it was shameful to wear gold bangles.
Mangala always dressed in a white sari and white blouse, and she wouldn't put on either earrings or a necklace.
One day, they were arguing and Mangala said, ‘Why do you have anything to do with my murderous father who, everyone says, killed his pregnant wife? People like you should be liberated.’ She had said this very harshly. Radha thought Mangala very sharp-tongued, just like her father, and kept quiet. In the house of her benefactor, everyone was dear to Radha.
Both Mangala and Charvak gave up college and ran away. God knows where they stayed and what they did for six months, or what they achieved in their revolutionary endeavour. Finally, Charvak came to Shimoga and took up the job of mechanic in a garage. Mangala wrote a letter to Radha saying that what he earned was not enough even for food. ‘Don't let my father know where we are. He might kill my husband because he's a shudra. If it isn't a hardship for you and you would like to, send me some money.