Forty or more expensive sedans pulled up at the gate of the Eastern Bird Sanctuary, where a pair of red palace lanterns three meters in diameter, filled with more than a hundred silver-throated skylarks, hung. Parrot Han had trained the birds to start singing as soon as they heard the sound of automobile engines. The lanterns vibrated with the skylarks’ songs, natural music of unsurpassed and unforgettable beauty. The arched roof of the gate was home to more than seventy nests of golden swifts, also trained by the magical hand of Parrot Han. A wooden plaque standing alongside the gate gave the English name of the swifts and a Chinese and English detailed description of the birds. Of special note was the fact that the nearly transparent nests were famous for their high nutritional value; a single nest sold for 3,000 yuan. For this occasion, Geng Lianlian had secretly installed several hundred audio speakers on nearby trees, which flooded the area with taped birdcalls. Just inside the gate, four wooden plaques proclaimed: Birds Call Flowers Sing, one gigantic word on each plaque. At first, the observers assumed that the word “sing” was a mistake, but they quickly realized that it was the perfect choice, since the flowers of the Eastern Bird Sanctuary did in fact appear to be singing as they swayed along with the nearly deafening birdcalls. A flock of well-trained wild chickens performed a welcoming dance in the middle of the courtyard, pairing off as couples one minute and spinning in the air the next, in perfect cadence with the music. These can’t be wild chickens! They’re nothing less than a flock of young gentlemen (for the sake of aesthetic continuity, Parrot Han had trained only male birds), a flock of young dandies forming a multicolored chorus line that dazzled the observers’ eyes. Geng Lianlian and Jintong led the visitors into the sanctuary’s performance hall, where Parrot Han, wearing ceremonial dress with embroidered red flowers, waited impressively, baton at the ready. Once the visitors were inside, a young female attendant threw a switch, flooding the hall with light, and twenty tiger-skin parrots on a horizontal perch directly opposite the entrance sang out in unison: Welcome welcome, hearty welcome, welcome welcome, hearty welcome! The visitors responded with ecstatic applause. Before the sound had died out, a flock of little siskins flew out, each carrying a folded pink slip in its beak, which they dropped into the hands of the visitors. Opening their slips, the visitors read the following: Greetings to your honorable personages! Your advice and guidance will be much appreciated. The recipients clicked their tongues in amazement. Next came two mynahs dressed in red jackets and little green hats; waddling up to a microphone at the center of the stage, one of them announced haughtily, Ladies and gentlemen, how do you do! The second mynah translated into fluent English. Thank you for honoring us with your presence. We welcome your precious advice – more translation. The director of the Municipal Trade Bureau, who knew English well, commented, Pure Oxford English. Now, for your enjoyment, we offer a solo rendering of “The Women’s Liberation Anthem,” sung by Hill Mynah. A hill mynah in purple dress bird-walked up to the microphone and bowed to the audience, so deeply that they could see the two yellow flaps on the back of her head. She said, today I’m going to sing a historical song, which I respectfully dedicate to Mayor Ji. I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you. Another deep bow exposed for the second time the two flaps, as ten canaries hopped out onto the stage to sing the opening bars in their lovely voices. The hill mynah began to rock as her voice rose in song:
In the old society, this is how it was:
A dark, I so dark dry well, deep down in the ground.
Crushing the common folk, women at the bottom,
At the very, very bottom.
In the new society, this is how it is:
A bright, I so bright sun shines down on the peasants.
Women have been freed to stand up,
At the very, very top.
The song ended amid thundering applause. Lianlian and Jintong sneaked a look at Ji Qiongzhi to gauge her reaction. She sat there calmly, neither clapping nor shouting her approval. Lianlian began to squirm. “What’s with her?” she asked softly, giving him a nudge with her elbow. He shook his head.
Lianlian cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. UI now invite our honorable guests to the dining room. Since the Eastern Bird Sanctuary is a new enterprise and has limited funds, we can offer only a modest meal. Our chef has prepared a ‘hundred bird banquet’ in your honor.”
The pair of avian masters of ceremony rushed up to the microphone to announce in unison, “Hundred bird banquet, hundred bird banquet, delicacies galore. From ostrich to hummingbird. Mallard and blue horse chicken. Red-crested crane and long-tailed turtledove. Bustard and ibis, hawfinch and mandarin duck, pelican and lovebird. Yellow roc, thrush, and woodpecker. Swan, cormorant, flamingo
Ji Qiongzhi walked out before the mynahs could list all the birds on the menu, her face hard as iron. Her subordinates fell in behind her with demonstrable reluctance. She had no sooner entered her car than Lianlian stomped her foot in anger and cursed, “What a witch! A goddamned deadbeat!”
The next day, the relevant portions of a meeting of the Municipal Government were sent to Geng Lianlian. “A bird sanctuary?” Ji Qiongzhi was quoted as saying. “They’ll not see a penny of government money as long as I’m mayor of this city!”
Lianlian giggled at the news. “That old fart. We’ll keep riding the donkey and singing our song, and see what happens.” She then directed Jintong to send the gifts they’d already prepared to the homes of the people who had come to the show, Ji Qiongzhi not included. The gifts included a pound of swallow’s nest and a bouquet of peacock feathers. For the most important visitors – that is, bank managers – an additional pound of swallow’s nest.
Jintong hesitated. “I… can’t do something like that.”
Within the space of a second, Lianlian’s gray eyes turned into those of a snake. “Can’t do it,” she said icily. “Then I'm afraid Fll have to ask Uncle to look for work elsewhere. Who knows, maybe that precious teacher of yours will find you an official position somewhere.”
“We can have Uncle be a gateman or something,” Parrot Han volunteered.
“Shut your mouth!” Lianlian hissed. “He may be your uncle, but he isn’t mine. I'm not running an old folks’ home here.”
“I’d advise you not to kill and eat the donkey after the milling’s finished,” Parrot muttered.
Lianlian flung her coffee cup at Parrot’s head. Yellow rays shot from her eyes, her lips parted savagely, and she said, “Get out of here, get the hell out, both of you! Anger me, and I’ll feed you to the eagles!”
Feeling his soul fly off in terror, Jintong cupped his hands in front of his chest. “It’s all my fault, Niece, I should die a thousand deaths. I’m not human, I’m the scum of the earth. Don’t take it out on my nephew. I’ll leave. You fed and clothed me, and I’ll pay you back, even if I have to become a garbage collector or scavenge empty bottles for their deposit.”
“That’s some drive you’ve got,” Lianlian mocked him. “You’re a damned idiot. Anybody who spends his life hanging by his mouth on women’s nipples is lower than a dog. If I’d been you, I’d have hanged myself from a crooked tree long ago. Pastor Malory planted a dragon seed, but all he harvested was a flea. No, you’re no flea. A flea can at least jump high into the air. At best you’re a stinking bedbug, and maybe not even that. You’re like a louse that’s gone hungry for three years!”
Cupping his hands over his ears, Jintong fled the Eastern Bird Sanctuary, but no matter how fast he ran, Lianlian’s razor-sharp verbal barbs cut him to ribbons. In his confusion, he ran into a field of reeds, all yellow and withered, since they hadn’t been cut down the year before; the new reeds had already grown half a foot. He burrowed deep into the field, and was, for the moment, cut off from the outside world. The dry plants rustled in the wind; the bitter odor of new plants rose from the muddy ground at his feet. His heart was nearly breaking, and as he tumbled to the ground, he began to wail piteously, pounding his cumbersome head with his muddy hands. Like a little old lady, he cried out between sobs, “Why did you let me be born, Mother? How could you raise a worthless piece of garbage like me? You should have stuffed me down a toilet right after I was born. Mother, I’ve lived my life like something that’s neither human nor demon! Adults picked on me, children picked on me, men picked on me, women picked on me, the living picked on me, the dead picked on me… Mother, I can’t go on, it’s time for me to depart this world. Old man in Heaven, open your eyes, strike me dead with a bolt of lightning! Mother Earth, open up and swallow me down. Mother, I can’t take it any longer! She cursed and reviled me right to my face…”