“What do I say to him? Do you think it’s true?” She was hoping it wasn’t, but John was honest with her again, however painful.
“Yes, I do. She’s a slut, but there’s no reason for her to lie or make this up. I think he’s the one who’s not being honest. And it’s a rotten thing to do to you, even if you’re not sleeping with him yet. You’ve been dating him for almost as long as she has. It sounds like he’s playing you both.” Victoria felt sick as she listened, and sat frozen in her seat. She felt cold suddenly, and the boys saw her shiver.
“Do you think he’ll tell me the truth now?” she asked miserably.
“Probably. He’s been pretty much caught red-handed. It would be interesting to hear what he does say, and how he explains it. This will be a tough one to justify or clean up.”
“I never asked him if he was seeing someone else,” Victoria said honestly. “I didn’t think I had to. I assumed he wasn’t.”
“It’s a good question to ask,” Harlan added sadly. “Some people don’t ’fess up unless you ask. But by this point, seeing each other every weekend and building a relationship, he should have told you whether you asked or not.” She nodded and thanked John for the information, although she hated hearing it, and he looked miserable for having told her. But they all knew it was right. She had to know. She sat with them in the kitchen for a long time, mulling it over, rehashing what they knew, and was confused, hurt, and angry about it. She managed to avoid Jack at school all the next day. She didn’t feel ready to confront him. And that night he called her.
“Where were you today? I looked for you all over and couldn’t find you,” he said, sounding as affectionate as ever. It was Thursday, and they were supposed to have dinner together the next day. She tried to keep her voice normal, but it was hard. She didn’t want to confront him about what she’d heard until they were face to face. This was not a conversation she wanted to have with him over the phone. She had felt sick about it all day, and hadn’t slept the night before. It was hard to believe that someone she cared about so much and had been so open with, and trusted so much, had been so dishonest with her. It had been a heart-wrenching revelation. All her fears came back to her that she wasn’t good enough to be loved. She hoped he had some reasonable explanation for it. But she couldn’t imagine one. She was willing to listen to what he had to say, and wanted to hear it, but the evidence John had presented to her was pretty damning.
She told Jack she had been busy all that day, meeting with students and their parents about the college process, and she invited him to come to the apartment for a drink before dinner the following night. He said it sounded like a great idea, and he was as warm as ever. She had never pressed him about spending both nights of the weekend together, and never wanted to be pushy, but she decided to try it now and see what he would say in response.
“Maybe we can do something Saturday night too. There are some really great new movies out,” she said innocently.
“Maybe we can do that Sunday afternoon,” he said with a tone of regret. “I have to correct exams all day Saturday and Saturday night. I’m way behind on it now.” There was her answer. She could have Friday night and Sunday afternoon, but not Saturday or Saturday night. And with a sinking heart and a knot in her stomach the size of her head, she knew that what John had told her was true. She hadn’t doubted it, but hoped he was wrong somehow. Apparently, he wasn’t.
She was distracted and nervous at school all day Friday and saw Jack in the teachers’ lounge briefly at lunchtime. She nearly ran out the door, and told him she was late for a student meeting. And he arrived at her apartment right on time on Friday night. He looked as appealing and as relaxed as ever. There was a quality about him that made him look honest and sincere. He exuded integrity in a way that suggested that he was a person you could trust. And she had, wholeheartedly. Apparently, he was not what he appeared. It was a bitter pill for her to swallow. They were alone in the apartment. Everyone was out on Friday night. And Harlan and John knew what she’d be doing. She had told them. They were at John’s place to give her space but had told her they were available if she needed them.
She had no idea how to start the conversation as she poured him a glass of wine with trembling hands. She had worn slacks and an old sweater. Suddenly she didn’t feel beautiful, as she often did when she was with him. She felt ugly, and unloved, and betrayed now. It was a terrible feeling. She hadn’t bothered to wash her hair or wear makeup. The notion of competing with the other woman was foreign to her. Her spirit and her confidence in herself had folded like a house of cards. He was proving her father right, she wasn’t worthy of being loved. Someone else was.
Jack was looking at her carefully as he held his glass of wine. He could see that she was upset, and had no idea what it was about.
“Something wrong?” he asked innocently.
Her hand was shaking as she set down her glass, and her stomach did a roll. “Maybe,” she said softly and raised her eyes to his. “You tell me. I never mentioned it before. Harlan’s boyfriend John works at the Aguillera School in the Bronx. Apparently a friend of yours does too. I guess you know who she is better than I do. She says she’s been having an affair with you for two months, and she sees you every weekend. I guess that makes me pretty stupid, and you dishonest, or something like that. So what’s the deal, Jack? What’s the story?” She looked him dead in the eye, and he stared at her for a minute, set down his glass, and walked across the room to look out the window, and then he turned toward her again, and she could see that he was furious. He had been caught.
“You have no right to snoop around about me,” he started on the offensive, but it got him nowhere. She didn’t buy it.
“I didn’t. It fell into my lap, and I guess I’m lucky John told me. She’s been bragging about you. It’s a small world, Jack, even in a city the size of New York. How long were you planning to do double duty, and why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“You never asked me. I never lied to you,” he said angrily. “I never told you we were exclusive. If you wanted to know that, you should have asked me.”
“You don’t think you should have volunteered that by now? We’ve been seeing each other every weekend for almost two months. Apparently the same amount of time you’ve been involved with her. What does she think is going on?”
“I never told her I was exclusive with her either,” he said, looking angry. “And it’s none of your business anyway. I haven’t slept with you, Victoria. I don’t owe you anything, except pleasant company when we go out, and a nice evening.”
“Is that how it works? Those aren’t the rules I play by. If I’d been seeing someone else, sexually or not, I would have told you. I would have felt I owed you that, just so you don’t get confused or hurt. I had a right to know, Jack. Just as a human being and someone you supposedly cared about, I deserved that. This wasn’t just about dinner. We were trying it out as a relationship. And I guess you’re doing the same with her. And who else is there? Do you have slots open during the week too? It sounds like you’ve been a pretty busy guy, and not an honest one. It was a shitty thing to do, Jack, and you know it.” There were tears in her eyes when she said it.