“… I affirm you are now wife and husband,” Diana concluded.
Kiru was staring down at her finger, at her wedding ring. A broken seashell, forged by the elements into a polished circle, it glinted in the light, ruby and amber, like a gemstone.
“It’s…” Kiru kept gazing at the shell, lost for words.
“We’ll get a real ring later,” said Norton, “a gold one.”
“… the most wonderful thing anyone’s ever given me,” said Kiru. She looked at Norton, and she smiled. “Not that anyone’s ever given me anything.”
“You can share the wedding cake,” said Norton.
“The cake isn’t for either of you,” said Diana.
“But you said—” began Norton.
He heard a crash behind him and he spun around. One of the autocams had dropped out of the air. There was another crash, then another, as all the cameras smashed to the ground.
Something else caught his eye. The wedding cake. It had moved. Then it suddenly burst open. A small, wide shape sprang up from inside.
“Grawl!” screamed Kiru, and she grabbed hold of Norton, clinging on tight.
Grawl was wearing a gangster suit. Instead of a tie, the heart-shaped silver amulet hung around his neck. The crown of the cake was balanced on top of his hat, the two tiny figures twisting and tilting as he turned around. Cradled in his arms was a gun.
The alien tax delegates gazed up at him. Grawl knocked the hat off his bald cranium, then looked across at Diana.
“I’m dissolving the partnership,” she said.
Standing on the table, Grawl took aim.
Diana nodded.
The killing began.
Grawl fired. The first alien died, toppling over, thudding to the ground. None of the others made any attempt to escape. They only moved when they were hit, when they fell, after which they didn’t move anymore.
One by one, shot by shot, Grawl executed them all.
Everything was still, everything was silent.
All the other banquet guests must have known what to expect. They had already left the scene, or else they were sheltering under the tables.
Norton began slowly backing away, pulling Kiru with him. Her whole body was limp, and she was staring in horror at Grawl.
“You can’t have her,” said Diana, who was standing above the seven corpses.
“She’s my wife,” said Norton.
“Ha!” said Diana, as she picked up her violin case, opened the lid, took out a gun, aimed it at Norton. “Like I said, it’s ideal.”
Norton continued retreating, pushing Kiru ahead of him, keeping himself between her and Diana.
“You can go, Wayne,” said Diana. “Leave Kiru. She belongs to Grawl now.”
Grawl was still standing on the table, within the demolished ruins of the wedding cake. He held the gun loosely in his right hand, stroking the silver pendant with his left.
“It’s over for her, Wayne,” said Diana. “And it will be for you unless you step aside. Is this what you want? To end your life here? For what? For her? She’s nothing to you.”
Norton stopped and turned to face Kiru. They looked at each other then joined hands: two hands, four thumbs, fifteen fingers.
He didn’t want to end his life here. But Kiru was his life. She was everything to him.
“I won’t give you up,” he whispered. “You’re mine.”
“No,” said Kiru, squeezing his hands, “you’re mine.”
Norton glanced over his shoulder. Now Grawl’s gun was also aimed directly at him.
“I love you,” said Kiru. She kissed Norton lightly on the lips. Catching him off balance, she suddenly twisted him behind her.
There was a blast of blue lightning.
Kiru was hit. She dropped.
“Kiru!” yelled Norton, sinking to his knees and clutching her body.
No one could have her now.
“She’s dead?” said Diana, and she sounded surprised. “Why did he use lethal?”
Jumping down from the table, Grawl made his way over to where Kiru lay. Norton stared up at him, his eyes full of tears and hate.
Grawl put the barrel of his gun against Norton’s forehead.
Wayne Norton closed his eyes.
The universe ended.
ANOTHER END
Norton reached out for Kiru’s left hand and slipped what he’d found onto her third ringer. It slid across her fingernail, past the first knuckle. With a slight push, it went over the second knuckle. A perfect fit.
“… I affirm you are now wife and husband,” Diana concluded.
Kiru was staring down at her finger, at her wedding ring. A broken seashell, forged by the elements into a polished circle, it glinted in the light, ruby and amber, like a gemstone.
“It’s…” Kiru kept gazing at the shell, lost for words.
“We’ll get a real ring later,” said Norton, “a gold one.”
“… the most wonderful thing anyone’s ever given me,” said Kiru. She looked at Norton, and she smiled. “Not that anyone’s ever given me anything.”
“Duke Wayne?” said a voice behind them.
Norton turned, looking at the creature standing on one leg. Tall, plump, small-beaked face craning forward, dark eyes at either side of its head, enormous wings folded across its back, the grey-feathered alien held its other clawed leg forward, offering a package.
“Who are you?” demanded Diana. “How did you get here?”
“Delivery for Duke Wayne,” said the courier.
“Is that you?” said Kiru.
“Well, yeah,” said Norton, trying to remember. “I used that name. Once.” He looked at the box. “What is it?”
“Don’t know, pal,” said the alien, its head bobbing backward and forward. “If you want my professional opinion, I’d say a bouquet. If you want my professional advice, I’d say open it. Sign here.”
Norton wondered why he was being sent a bouquet. Because it was a mistake, he assumed. It should have been for the bride.
“Just there,” said the avian courier. “First-digit print. Ah. No first digit. Never mind the receipt, pal.”
The creature gave the package to Norton, waddled away, spread its wings, flapped them, then took off, soaring upward.
Norton was about a hundred yards from the edge of the water, and he heard a distant splash. He turned, but his view was blocked by the conference pyramid. Although the courier had already vanished amongst the orange clouds, Norton glimpsed a trace of light high in the red sky—in the opposite direction. He kept watching the heavens, kept listening, but he saw nothing else, heard nothing more.
“What is that?” said Diana, gesturing toward the package.
Norton shook the box. It was light, didn’t rattle. He handed it to Kiru.
“Now you’ve had two things,” he said.
“Must be my lucky day,” said Kiru, as she started unwrapping it. “In spite of getting married. It’s not a bouquet. Ow!”
Instead of a bunch of flowers, Kiru was holding a bundle of thorns and nettles. She put a finger to her mouth, sucking at the blood where she’d been pricked.
“Did you hear that?” said Norton, inclining his head toward the sea.
“No,” said Kiru. “What?”
He thought he’d heard another far-away splash in the ocean, and he stared up into the sky. When he looked back, he realised most of the banquet guests had already left. Almost the only ones still seated were the strange seven from the Galactic Tax Authority. Diana stood on the far side of the table, opposite where Norton and Kiru were standing.
That seemed to be it. The wedding was over without the cake being cut. Norton didn’t care. The best was yet to come. It was time for the honeymoon.
He heard a crash behind him and he spun around. One of the autocams had dropped out of the air. There was another crash, then another, as all the cameras smashed to the ground.
Something else caught his eye. The wedding cake. It had moved. Then it suddenly burst open. A small, wide shape sprang up from inside.