And that was that.
I had to laugh. What couldn’t he have discovered if he had been a real trained spy! And what did he have? A silly map he could have gotten in the base construction office anyway.
I packed it up. It had turned ten and I had really important things to do — namely, making Soltan Gris rich!
Chapter 2
The villa had three cars, all more or less in what Turkey considers running condition. I went out and considered them. The Datsun pickup was more or less full of the remains of vegetables from the morning marketing. The Chevy station wagon had an empty gas tank. That left the French Renault sedan. I think the car had been left over from the wreckage of World War I: they believe in making cars last in Turkey.
The body was dented from several direct hits, the windshield was cracked. It had to be cranked because the battery was dead. It kicked and had been known to break somebody’s arm, so I got Karagoz to crank it. And off I went to town.
I dreamed that soon I would buy a long, black, bulletproof limousine, the kind gangsters have. I even knew where there was one: a Turkish general had been killed in the 1963 military take-over and the car was for sale cheap.
The Renault, however, had its advantages. It steered erratically and could be counted on to drive carts off the road. They are stupid gigs, usually heavily laden, drawn by donkeys, and they really clutter the place up. If you swerve in close to the donkey as you pass, the cart winds up in the ditch. It is very comical. You can watch the driver shaking his fist in the rearview mirror.
I was just enjoying my fifth cart upset when I noticed I was passing Afyonkarahisar: the vast bulk of the rock rose 750 feet in the air.
Abruptly, I pulled to the left and stopped. I blocked a chain of carts coming from town, but they could wait. I leaned out and looked up the face of the rock.
Even though it was powdered with cement dust, you could see that it had handholds if you didn’t mind losing a few fingernails. Still, I would never attempt to climb it. Never. And in the dark? Absolutely never!
My interest in this was a matter of character, not the character of Heller — I already knew he was crazy — but in the character of a man who had suddenly become vital in my plans of riches: Jimmy “The Gutter” Tavilnasty. He said he had seen Heller climbing it. Obviously, the feat was impossible. Therefore Jimmy “The Gutter” Tavilnasty was a pathological liar. Good. I would watch it when I spoke with him later today and made him my offer.
The engine had died so I got out and cranked it. The drivers of the halted carts were screaming and shaking their fists. I screamed and shook my fist back, got in and drove the rest of the way to town.
The Mudlick Construction Company was my destination. It has branch offices all around Turkey. It does a lot of government contracting and therefore must be crooked. I double-parked and went in.
My business was soon transacted. The manager took my sketch and estimated the cost. When he heard I wanted the hospital built in six weeks, he raised the price. I walked out and he rushed to the sidewalk and brought me back and halved the amount. But he said he would have to build it of mud, the favorite construction material of this district. I told him it had to be of first-class materials. We compromised by planning to build it half of mud and half of proper materials. Then I doubled the price and told him he would owe me half, as a kickback. We signed the contract and parted firm friends.
When I came out two motorists were glaring at me so I glared back and cranked the car and drove to the Giysi Modern Western Clothing Our Specialty Shop for Men and Gentlemen. I would much rather shop in Istanbul but I hadn’t much time and I knew I would have to dress right for my call on Jimmy “The Gutter” Tavilnasty. It was vital I make an impression.
The selection was pretty poor, really. But it is the law that Turks must not look like Turks but dress like Americans or Italians and I was lucky. They had just received a shipment from Hong Kong of the very latest Chicago fashions.
I found a gray suit, a black shirt, a white tie, black and white oxfords and a gray fedora hat. They all more or less fit. I changed in back, shortchanged the clerk by palming and swapping a five-hundred lira note for a five at the last instant, glared him into thinking it was his mistake and was on my way.
I looked pretty sharp as I admired myself in a shop window reflection. Just like a film gangster.
Rapidly, I made a round of hotels, looking for Jimmy “The Gutter” Tavilnasty. It does not take long to do in Afyon. There aren’t many hotels. The clerks shook their heads. No trace of him.
Well, I had another errand. I went to the Pahalt General Merchandise Emporium. It is patronized by peasants and they certainly get charged pahalt, which in Turkish means “high-priced.” In a back room, I had a little talk with the proprietor.
I told him I wanted him to put up a sign that said he bought gold. He said the gold mining districts, such as they were, were further north. I said that didn’t matter: at his prices, the women of the family had to sell their jewelry, didn’t they? And he said that was true. So I told him that any gold he bought from said impoverished peasants, at London prices, I would buy from him at a ten percent markup. He said there wouldn’t be much, but I said how much there was was a secret between us and so we made the sign and he put it up.
Now, I had a way to explain all the gold I was about to dump on the market when the Blixo arrived. I could point out that gold was bought in Afyon. When I unloaded chunks of mine in Istanbul, I would probably never bother to buy the proprietor’s gold.
In the pleasant noonday sun, I sat basking double-parked on the street, trying to figure out where Jimmy “The Gutter” had gotten to. Some carts were blocked. A policeman came along and disturbed my concentration. He bent over and stuck his bristling mustache in the window. Then he said, “Oh, it’s you!”
Well, that was quite a compliment, the way he said it. Sort of alarmed. They think I am the nephew of the original subofficer that was the war hero. After all, I live in his house. He moved on rather quickly to bawl out the carts I was blocking. Oh, it was good to be home!
It must have sparked my wits. Where would a gangster go in this town? Of course, the Saglanmak Rooms! Now, saglanmak, in Turkish, means “to be obtained” or “available.” But there is another word, saklanmak, which means “to hide oneself.” Now, according to that great master, Freud, the unconscious mind can twist words into meanings closer to the intent of the person. These are called “Freudian slips.” This was what must have happened. No matter that he probably didn’t speak Turkish, Jimmy “The Gutter” Tavilnasty had made a Freudian slip.
Besides, it was the only place in town the Mafia ever stayed.
I drove through the gathering crowd of fist-shaking peasants and proceeded to the Saglanmak Rooms. But I was cunning now. I double-parked a block away and cased the joint.
There was a balcony that ran around the outside of the second floor and a stairway to it — a vital necessity if one had to get out a window and escape quickly.
I went in. I walked up to the desk. The clerk was a young Turk with his hair plastered down. He had earlier told me no such name was in the hotel. I didn’t bother with him. I reached over the desk and into the niche for the box of room cards. The clerk stood back.
I went through the cards. No Jimmy “The Gutter” Tavilnasty.
He had said he had been around for weeks. I checked dates. And there it was! John Smith!
“I thought,” I sneered at the clerk, “that you said Tavilnasty wasn’t here!”