“Erin.” I turn my focus and put on my charm. “Are you free tonight? I was thinking maybe we could catch up. I haven’t really had a chance to talk to you since I got here and before that it had been at least two years since we had a conversation. What do you think? Wanna grab a bottle of Jack and reminisce on the good ol’ days of harvest?”
Her eyes light up and I feel kind of like an asshole for dragging her into this, but she’s a reliable pawn in the game and I need her for now. The last thing I want to do is hang out with her, but regardless of what Skyler says about her and Adam, I know she cares about me. There’s no better way for her to realize that than to see me with another girl. Especially if she knows that girl and I have a past.
“You bring the bottle and I’ll make my grandma’s famous sandwiches. They’ll be the perfect ingredients to travel back in time,” she says, still smiling.
I nod. “I can hardly wait. Pick you up at seven?”
Erin bites her lip a little, a gesture that used to turn me on as a junior in high school but now just makes me want to sprint in the opposite direction. She may be reliable, but she’s still crazy as far as I’m concerned. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know I was playing with fire here.
“It’s a date.”
I smile and offer a slight wave to the girls before trudging back up the beach to my brothers. Adam’s standing with Kade now and I know he’s the next person I need to cross off my list. I need to fall back under the radar, get right with everyone and play the rest of this game with my head on straight.
Turning back one last time, I catch Skyler watching me over her shoulder. She quickly turns back around, adjusting her glasses and taking a sip from her cup. I smile, feeling a little relief set in. Dad said to rattle her, right? Push her buttons? See what gets her worked up?
Something tells me I might have just figured it out.
“Are you sure the heels aren’t too much? I’m still not sure what we’re doing and I want to appear nice but not eager,” Erin asks for the seventh time, twisting to view her slim frame from the side in her full length mirror again. I’m lying on her bed looking up at the ceiling and don’t even bother leaning up.
“Big, you look amazing. Trust me, don’t change anything.”
“I agree,” Cassie chimes in. “You’re killing it in those heels, G-Big. I don’t know how he’s going to keep his hands off you. Those shoes paired with those shorts make your legs look fantastic.”
A small pain aches in my stomach at the mention of Kip touching Erin, but I’m growing used to it. It’s kind of comforting, actually. At least I’m not numb. At least I feel something.
“Touché, Baby G.” Erin struts over to her dresser and snatches up a small clutch, stuffing it with lip gloss and her ID essentials. When she finishes, she drops down into the chair and stares down at her fingers nervously. “I’m scared for tonight. We’ve hung out all week and things have been amazing, but this is the first actual date we’ve been on since high school.”
There’s that sickening pain again.
I chew my lip, trying to find the strength inside to hold it together. I knew this was coming, but I guess in a way I didn’t think I really had to prepare for it. I knew I wouldn’t have Kip, but after hearing the way he talked about Erin, I didn’t think her plan would ever work out the way she wanted. I thought he would ignore all of us, go hang out with his brothers and let me hate myself in peace. Hell, there was even a part of me that thought maybe after Erin realized he wouldn’t be with her, she’d move on and I could start talking to him again. Not like he would ever want anything to do with me, but I could dream, right?
None of that mattered, though, because I was wrong. He’d waited a whole thirty-something hours before asking Erin out. And he did it in front of me. Maybe he wanted her all along.
Shit, was he the one playing me?
“Ex, I’m going to smack you so hard your Grand Little will feel it if you don’t quit,” I say, leaning up and forcing a smile to mask my true want to slap her right now. Yes, I know that makes me a shitty Little, but right now I’m in a strange place. “You look beautiful and clearly Kip is into you. He’s been with you all week and anytime you’re not together, your phone is going crazy with texts. He wants to see you and he’s going to have something amazing planned. So stop being crazy and start being excited.”
She smiles, moving to join Cassie and I on the bed. Wrapping me in a fierce hug, she says, “I love you so much, Little. Seriously, so much. I can’t believe what you did for me.” Erin pulls back, her hands still on my shoulders as she studies my eyes. “You’re going to be a phenomenal president, Skyler. I’ve only been doing this a little over a month and I already know you’ll be twice the president I am. Hey,” she adds excitedly, snapping her fingers. “What are you doing tomorrow after class? Come to the PanHellenic meeting with me. I want the other sororities’ officers to get to know you. You could start shadowing and seeing what it’s like. What do you say?”
I smile, but shake my head. “I don’t know, I was kind of hoping to just hang out tomorrow.”
Erin rolls her eyes. “Oh come on. You’ve been ‘hanging out’ every day since the dance. I barely even got you to come to the beach with us on Sunday. Pretty please? It’ll be Big/Little bonding time!”
“You should go, Big,” Cassie chimes in and I give her pleading eyes to back me up, but she doesn’t relent. “It’ll be good for you to get the hang of this stuff before you take office. You’ve seen how hard it’s been for Ex this past month and she’s basically a pro at everything.”
“Aw, thanks Baby G!” Erin beams at Cassie before turning back to me. “So, what do you say? You in?”
My head is starting to spin with the change in Erin’s attitude toward me. Ever since Friday, the evil glares that I was so unaccustomed to have been replaced with the Erin I used to know – the familiar, kind, fun Big I’ve loved since the moment I rushed. But now it’s me pulling away, and over what? A boy?
Boys make girls do really stupid things, sometimes.
“Okay,” I say, smiling. Erin squeals and claps her hands together just as Ashlei and Jess burst through the door.
“Yo, El Presidente,” Jess says as she jumps into bed between me and Cassie. “Loverboy is waiting for you downstairs.”
My stomach lurches.
“Ah!” She jumps up and grabs her clutch before adjusting her tits in her top one more time. “Okay, wish me luck, girls!”
They all shout different variations of “have fun” and “good luck” and I just keep smiling because I’m afraid if I open my mouth, nothing will come out. Nothing that should come out, anyway. Once Erin disappears behind the door closing shut again, Ashlei’s eyes immediately snap to me.
“So, on a scale of one to Amanda Bynes, how close are you to a meltdown right now?”
I sigh, grabbing one of Erin’s pillows and holding it tight to my chest. “I think I’m holding strong at a Tom Cruise pre-Oprah-couch right now.”
“Well, as long as we keep you off talk shows, then, I think you’ll be okay,” Jess says, laughing, but then her face steadies out and she grabs my hand. “Seriously, are you okay?”
“No. But it doesn’t really matter, does it?” I lift my head to face her. “I have to suck it up and figure out a way to be okay, right?”