“Hey.” I nod, smiling. I hold out Skyler’s bag. “You forgot this. See you bright and early in the morning.”
“I’ll be there with bells on,” Skyler says, grabbing the bag from my hand. She lets her fingers linger just a little longer than necessary and Ashlei’s brow shoots up, her eyes questioning us both. Before she has the chance to voice any questions out loud, I turn and walk in the direction of my apartment.
Damn it.
I tuck my hands in my jeans as I walk, trying to calm myself enough to think clearly. Eventually, even if it’s taking longer than I want, Skyler is going to be okay with people knowing we’re together. Eventually, things are going to get serious, if they aren’t already. And, eventually, I’ll be sitting across from her at a table in Vegas.
Fuck.
Sighing, I pull my phone from my pocket and find my dad’s contact. Hitting the call button, I breathe in deeply, trying to steady my nerves. There are no right words to say what I need to say to him. He might hate me, he will definitely yell, and regardless of that, I know I have to do this.
I have to call things off.
I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to figure that out. I should have called it off after the first night. I knew then that there was no turning back, there was no betraying Skyler. I don’t want to hurt her. I can’t hurt her. And if that means putting my dreams on the backburner for now, then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll figure out a way to go to UCLA on my own. Dad will be pissed, but he’s my dad, right? Eventually, he’ll have to forgive me. Hell, maybe I can convince him to play poker again himself after he retires. Whatever the future holds after this phone call ends, I don’t care. As long as I have Skyler.
And part of me knows that could change, too. I could give all this up, sacrifice my ride to my dream school along with my dad’s respect and she could leave me. She’s already done it once before. I shiver, remembering the way it felt to see her dead eyes reflecting mine as she told me there was no us.
My dad’s voicemail message pulls me back to the present. Frowning, I hang up, tucking the phone back in my pocket. Strange. I don’t think I’ve ever heard my dad’s voicemail. He always answers my call. I guess I’ll try again later tonight.
It’s crazy, the way making a decision can make you feel. Not just mentally, but physically. I already feel lighter on my feet, like I was carrying a backpack full of dirt and someone sliced the bottom of it. The dirt is pouring out, leaving a trail of dust behind me as my shoulders lift.
Things are about to change. I’m about to change.
I’m going to be with Skyler. Not yet, not fully, anyway – but soon.
I never thought I would risk my dreams, but now I wonder if maybe I’m not risking them at all.
Maybe my dreams have just changed, too.
“IT’S SPRING BREAK, BITCHES!” Kade slaps me hard on the back as he and a group of my brothers run past me toward the ramp to the boat. I smile as they ruffle my hair and punch me on the arm but press my finger harder against my open ear, trying to hear the ring of the phone in the other. Dad’s voicemail picks up again and I sigh, checking my watch. It’s two in the afternoon there, it doesn’t make sense why he wouldn’t be answering. Still.
I’ve tried calling more than a dozen times since Wednesday with no luck. I texted my mom last night and she said everything was fine, Dad was just busy, but it still doesn’t feel right to me. He’s been on my ass about Skyler all semester, it doesn’t make sense that he would just ignore my calls now.
“Hey Dad,” I say loudly, trying to talk over the growing noise of excited Spring Breakers around me. I haven’t left a voicemail yet, and I can’t tell him what I need to like this, but I need to at least know I said something. “Listen, we need to talk. It’s about Skyler, about… everything. I’m getting on the cruise now, so I won’t have service again until Tuesday. I’ll call you then.” I pause, not sure what else to say. For some reason, I end with “Love you.” It’s weird, but for some reason it just felt right to say.
I tuck my phone in the pocket of my board shorts and catch up to Kade and the guys. I saw Skyler during our test yesterday morning, but that’s all after our study session Wednesday. I tried to hang out with her after the test, but of course the girls all wanted to go get their nails and shit done for the cruise. Looking around the crowd trying to spot her brown hair piled messily on her head, I feel like I might really be an addict. Can’t even go twenty-four hours, anymore.
“Bro, I’m so excited for this week,” Kade says as we reach the deck floor of the boat. We all pile out of the elevator and make our way to the main pool. It’s already littered with hundreds of college students, drink in hand and barely a stitch of clothing on. The sun is warm and it’s in the high seventies with literally not one cloud in the sky. Flicking on my Ray Bans, I realize we couldn’t have asked for a better week for Spring Break. It’s only March seventh, but in Florida and the Bahamas, spring is already starting. “We’re official brothers now, midterms are done, there are half-naked girls ready to drink their dignity away and I’ve got my dad’s credit card.” He winks at a blonde in a hot pink bathing suit with leopard bottoms, turning a little to face her as we walk by. “This is going to be the best week of my life.”
I laugh, clapping him on the back and shaking my head. “If you even remember any of it, that is.”
Kade goes to respond when suddenly we’re both tackled from behind. A pair of long, tanned legs wraps around my torso and long brown hair tumbles down in front of my face. Kade stumbles a bit as Cassie pulls herself up higher on his back, throwing her hands in the air. “It’s Spring Break, bitches!” Apparently that’s our theme for the week. “Where’s our shots?!”
I look up and find Skyler attached to the legs wrapped around me, but I didn’t have to look to know it was her. I think I’d know her legs if they were masked by a ski suit. She smiles down at me, her blue eyes sparkling in the sun. “I’ve been on this boat for seven and a half minutes now and I still don’t have a frozen, fruity drink in my hand.” She pouts.
“Well, that sounds like a problem I can solve.” I grab her thighs and pull her up higher on my back before taking off fast toward the deck bar. She squeals and squeezes her legs around me as I run, making flashbacks of her in my bed invade my thoughts. I drop her gently down onto a barstool and she laughs, swinging her hair over her shoulder.
“That might be my new favorite mode of transportation,” she says, eying me with a hunger in her eyes that I’ve grown too attached to. I feel myself instinctively leaning down to kiss her and stop short when I realize what I was about to do. Skyler bites her lip, her eyes catching my mistake. She smiles and I smile, too, because there’s nothing else we can do.
“Mine, too.”
We order our drinks along with the rest of the crew and then all gather around the pool, some kicking back in lounge chairs while others wade in the shallow end of the pool or hang their feet in. Skyler is sitting in a line on the edge of the pool with Erin, Cassie, Ashlei, and Jess. They all swing their feet absentmindedly and sip on their drinks, the condensation gathering and rolling down the glasses in the same way small beads of sweat slowly roll down Skyler’s neck and into the crevice between her breasts. The minute she took off the sundress covering her bathing suit I groaned internally, thankful for the sunglasses masking my reaction. But she made sure to do it nice and slow, smiling at me as she dropped the garment onto an empty lounge chair.
I can’t wait to get her alone.
When the captain announces we’re pulling away from port, everyone jumps out of the pool and starts gathering around the edges of the ship, waving to other boats and people dining at waterfront restaurants as we pull out to sea. With everyone distracted and buzzed at this point, I take advantage and grab Skyler’s wrist, tugging her with me in the opposite direction. I move quickly, making sure I avoid the areas where the Greeks from our school have gathered. Spying a private deck a bit higher than the one we’re on, I rush us up the stairs and we duck under a sign hanging on a chain that says VIP ONLY. When we reach the top, we’re alone. Ten empty lounge chairs shine in the sunlight, but no one is up here just yet. And, lucky for us, no one is patrolling the area yet, either.