My nose flares and I pull her back into me, looking up to the sky to stop the tears I feel coming. Men don’t cry. My dad taught me that at a young age and so far it’s worked against broken bones and bullies at school, but I don’t think Dad could have ever prepared me to feel the weight of the shit I’ve piled on myself now.
I know I should tell her, I should lay everything out now, but I can’t. I forgive her for her and Erin’s stupid game, but the one I’ve been playing is far worse. I know there would be no coming back.
“I do,” I say softly, kissing her forehead. “I forgive you.”
I feel her weight fall completely into me and I hold her tighter, letting her know I’m there. As I hold her, I go over the words in my head. The words I’ll say when we dock on Tuesday and I call my dad. Once I tell him, it’ll all be over. Skyler and I can be together without any lies, without any games, without any thing, period, standing between us.
Suddenly, her words come back to me. In the midst of her apology, of her confession, of her fighting to keep me – she said she loved me.
I told Erin I loved her that summer we were together when I didn’t know any better. Since then, I haven’t said it to anyone but my parents. I pull back, still holding Skyler in my arms but tilting her chin up to face me.
“I love you, too,” I say softly and her lip quivers, more tears falling. She smiles, shaking her head as I wipe them away with the pad of my thumb. “I don’t deserve you, I’ll never be good enough for you, but I love you nonetheless.”
I lean down and softly press my lips to hers, tasting the salty-sweetness of her lips mixed with her tears. Skyler crying is one of the most painful things I’ve seen, especially knowing it was because of me. I say a silent promise to myself to never be the cause of her tears again. From now on, I’m only here to wipe them away.
I move both hands to the side of her face and kiss her with everything I have, letting all the anger and pain melt away in the heat between us. She pulls me closer, fisting her hands in my shirt and deepening our kiss and my body reacts to her instantly. Groaning, I grip her waist tighter, turning to press her back against the railing as I kiss from her lips along her jaw and down to her neck.
“Take me back to your room,” she says quietly, breathless. The moon is so bright tonight we might as well be standing under a spotlight. The way the soft blue light catches Skyler’s eyes makes me want to find a pen and write about it. This is a scene that should be remembered, that should be cherished, a moment everyone should see. I thought she looked amazing in the morning light, but in the darkness and the cool glow, she’s something… more. Beautiful.
So devastatingly beautiful.
I wrap my arm around her and pull her close to my side as we walk toward the elevator. She laces her fingers with mine around her hip, leaning into me, and I swear the electricity between our bodies is intensified at just the thought of being closer.
When we reach my room, Kade is inside. He smiles when he sees us, but his eyes are questioning, curious. He wants to know what happened between us, but neither of us feels like talking right now.
“Get out,” I say firmly.
Kade nods, a shit-eating grin on his face as he grabs his flask from the dresser on his way out. As he slides by us and stands at the door, he gives us both a wink that makes me roll my eyes and Skyler turn a soft shade of pink. I’m kind of jealous that blush didn’t come from me.
When we’re alone, that same electricity buzzes to life. The air feels tight, hot, charged. I walk to the small dresser and grab my phone plugged into the charger. “Do you like Ed Sheeran at all?”
Skyler shrugs, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I don’t know, I’ve never really listened to him, honestly.”
I press play and Tenerife Sea starts to pour softly from my phone’s speaker. Turning, I pull Skyler to her feet and place my hands on either side of her face again before slowly pressing my lips to hers. I kiss her soft at first, the tear stains on her cheek reminding me of the pain we both felt just minutes ago, but then she starts to move with me, her mouth opening to let my tongue inside.
Her hands are in my hair and every touch clouds my head more, every kiss blinds me from the rest of the world. I grab the hem of her hoodie and gently pull it over her head. When I realize all that’s left is her bra underneath, I smile against her lips.
“Were you planning on taking this off at all tonight?”
“I was hoping you’d be the one to do it,” she breathes, biting her bottom lip a little.
I take my time slowly unbuttoning her jeans, my mouth still fixed on hers, before tugging them down around her ass, her thighs, and finally letting them fall the rest of the way to the floor. She backs up a little, her eyes locked on mine, and hooks her thumbs in the strap of her thong before slowly sliding it down her thighs. When it joins her jeans on the floor, she steps out of them and stands completely bare in front of me, her breasts pebbled in anticipation.
She crosses the short space between us and pulls my shirt up just enough to rub her hands along my abdomen, her fingertips just tracing the hem of my boxers. My eyes roll back at the touch and I quickly remove my shirt as she unties my board shorts. I pull them along with my boxers down to my feet and kick them to the side. And then we’re both standing there, completely exposed, our breaths heavy in our chests. Something in the room feels different this time. Neither of us is in a rush. We’re desperate to touch each other, but each restraining against the urge to go faster. I let my eyes wash over her body, from her electric blue eyes all the way down to her slim ankles that I can’t wait to have wrapped around me. She does the same, her fingertips trailing a line along my jaw before dropping down my chest, my abs, and resting just above where I want her hands to be.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” I whisper, and I’m not sure why I don’t say it louder. It’s almost as if I’m afraid if I say it too loud, someone else will wise up and notice, too, and I might lose her.
She smiles, falling back to sit on the edge of the bed again. She crawls up to the pillows, her eyes on me as she moves. She’s sprawled out on the bed, her flawless body even more tan against the white sheets as she slowly lets her legs fall open before beckoning me with her index finger.
Starting at her ankle, I kiss my way up, touching every inch of her skin with my lips as I crawl on top of her. When I reach her mouth, I pull her bottom lip between my teeth and rub my hard on against her clit, making us both groan at the touch. I keep working, slowly rubbing against her until the friction is too much for both of us. Skyler reaches down between us, gripping me in her hand and placing me at her entrance. Just the feeling of my tip at her opening makes us both stop breathing, our bodies frozen until I close the space and slowly enter her, letting every inch of me feel her warmth.
And then the rest of the world is gone.
Skyler moans when I push all the way in, her head falling back against the pillows. I stay low and pressed against her as I move in and out, planting kisses on her neck, her breasts, her collar bone, her lips. She grips my arms tight, her fingertips holding on fiercely as she looks up at me from the sheets. Her dark hair is splayed all around her, her eyes wide, her lips plump, her cheeks flushed. She’s so fucking beautiful it’s almost too much to keep looking at her.
I reach down and pull her left leg up, hitching it over my shoulder as I slide in even deeper. Skyler moans louder at that and I close my eyes to refrain from coming right then. I’ve never been a fan of missionary, but with her leg draped over my shoulder and those fucking eyes staring up at me, it’s all I can do to wait for her to come first.
I pull her nipple between my teeth and bite, gentle enough to not hurt her but with enough force to make her moan. Her breathing is faster now, her heart beating hard beneath me. I know she’s close.