“Mom?” I ask cautiously, almost as if approaching a wild animal. “What’s going on?”
Silence again.
Crying.
A long sigh.
“It’s your dad. He…” she chokes on a sob. “Oh God, Kip.” An ache rolls through me as she gives in to another cry, causing my knees to buckle and take me back down to the bench. The sun shines high in the sky, mocking the way I feel and burning down on the skin of my neck. I grip the phone tighter, waiting for her to say something else. Anything else. After a moment, she lets out another shaky breath, calming herself enough to speak just two words.
“He’s sick.”
“I love lazy Sunday nights with you girls,” Ashlei says, snuggling deeper into Jess’s bed. Cassie is in mine and all four of us have been watching Pretty Little Liars all day, getting out of bed only for bathroom breaks and junk food runs. We all know that once school starts back up tomorrow, the rest of the semester is going to fly by and before we know it we’ll be moving our stuff out of the house for summer. Next fall, I’ll be a senior and Cassie a junior. It’ll also be the last semester for Jess, Ashlei, and my Big.
Not that I care much about my Big right now.
They all stayed an extra semester so that they could hold their positions. Our chapter votes on new roles at the end of fall semesters, so that means their terms are one calendar year, not school year. If I get elected next fall, I’ll have to do the same.
But now, I’m not so sure I care to take the throne.
“I do, too. I’d like them even more if Cassie and Sky would give us some details about their sexcapades.” Jess throws us a glare and we both laugh. “My lady blue balls need some lovin’.”
“Go get a sex life of your own, J-Love,” Little quips.
Jess sighs. “If only it were that easy. I’m giving up sex for the rest of the semester. Boys, too. I’m over their shit.”
We all exchange glances and Ashlei rolls her eyes and mouths, “Yeah right.” We all know Jess is a little too boy crazy to abstain for that long.
“How are things with you and Adam, Little?” I ask, my voice lower than the TV.
She shrugs, blushing a little as a huge smile spreads on her face. “I don’t know, we’re good I guess. It’s nice knowing that he feels the same about me. And, no offense, but with you out of the picture, things are working out a lot better.”
I laugh, nudging her. “None taken. I’m sorry I got in the way in the first place. That whole game was… stupid, to say the least. I should have never agreed to it and I definitely shouldn’t have pulled other people down with me.”
Cassie smiles. “It’s all good, Big. People make mistakes and it’s all over now. Speaking of which,” she says as my phone pings. I look down and frown when I see the message from Kip. “How are things with you and Kip?”
- I can’t hang out tomorrow night, forgot I have a huge project due Tuesday. Want to sleep over Wednesday night and we can go to class together Thursday? I’m sorry for bailing… -
I sigh, letting my phone drop to the bed and looking back up at my Little. “Well, to be honest, I don’t know.”
Her brow shoots up and she leans up a little straighter, looking over to see if Jess and Ashlei are listening. They’re both focused on the TV again, Jess shoveling popcorn into her mouth at a rapid rate. Cassie drops her voice a little lower. “What’s going on?”
“He says he’s fine, but ever since we got back from the cruise, something’s been off. We were supposed to hang out that night after spa day and he bailed on me. Then again the next day. And the next. And I literally haven’t seen him since he kissed me goodbye at the dock.” My stomach drops a little when I say it out loud. In my head and in the texts we’ve sent back and forth, it didn’t sound that bad. He was tired, he had school work, his friend back home had a crisis – it all seemed plausible. But when I say it out loud, I realize the truth I should have already known. He’s avoiding me.
The question is, why?
Cassie’s mouth pulls to the side. “Are you seeing him this week at all?”
“Wednesday. I’m staying over.”
She grins and waggles her eyebrows. “Well, I’m sure he’ll make up for all the time lost.”
I nudge her hard but can’t help but smile. I hope she’s right. I hope I’m overanalyzing it and we’re fine. He seemed like he had completely forgiven me. We had an amazing night together after I confessed everything and our last day of the cruise in Key West was perfect. But maybe being on his own gave him time to think.
Maybe he doesn’t forgive me, after all.
- Yeah, that’s fine. -
I try to focus on the show and enjoying the time with my sisters, but I can’t stop thinking about Kip. I need to hear more from him than an excuse not to hang out with me. That’s all I’ve had for almost a week now and I can’t handle it anymore. I like to think I’m stronger than I was in high school, but my insecurities sneak back up on me when I least expect them. And when they do, they grip me like the jaws of a lion and I can’t shake them loose.
- Kip, are we okay? -
- Of course we are. Why would you ask? -
- Seriously? -
- I know, I’m sorry. I promise, you and I are fine. I’m just dealing with some home stuff right now. -
- Let me help you. Let me come over. We can talk about it. -
- I just need some time to think right now, Skyler. I promise it has nothing to do with you, but I’m not ready to talk to you about it. I’m not ready to talk to anyone about it. –
I sigh, debating the next text. We said that we loved each other that night on the boat, but not again since then. As petty as it sounds, I really need to hear it from him right now. My fingers are shaking slightly when I press the send button and wait.
- Okay, I understand. I love you, Tommy. ;) -
- I love you too, Ella Mae. -
An infectious smile spreads to my cheeks and I bite my bottom lip. It’s crazy that a simple text can make my stomach flip like this, but it’s exactly what I needed. I place my phone on my bedside table and plug it into the charger. Just as I settle back down against the pillows for more Netflix binging, our door swings open.
Erin.
We all sort of stiffen when we see her, but no one says a word. The other girls have still been hanging out with Erin, they haven’t shunned her or anything, but I think it’s easy to pick up on the fact that no one is okay with what she did. It feels like an hour passes before she finally says something.
“Little, can I talk to you?” She asks the question softly, holding her one arm crossed over her front and clinging to the elbow of her other arm. The bags under her eyes have slowly gotten worse over the past few days and I can’t help but ache a little for her, even though I’m pissed enough to punch her in the nose right now.
“About what?”
Erin gives me a pleading look and I sigh, throwing back the covers a little more dramatically than necessary. I follow her out of our room and down the hall to hers, but I don’t move far inside. I stand near the entrance with my arms crossed over my chest, waiting.
“Come sit down.” she gestures to her bed.
“I’ll stand.”
Erin sighs, rolling her eyes a little. “Leave it to you to make this even harder than it already is.”
Before I realize what I’m doing, I make my way swiftly across the room and slap my Big hard across the face. Her head moves with the hit, her hand flying up in shock to cover the place where mine just made contact. Erin nods a little, her eyes watering slightly as she turns back around to face me.