“And you didn’t?”
“I didn’t say that.” She huffs. She’s angry and I’m trying to be serious, but she’s so fucking adorable when she’s mad. All I want to do is say fuck it and cover that frowning mouth with my own.
“My reasons for wanting to win were no better than yours. Skyler, this was important to you and your family.”
“Well maybe it wasn’t as important to me as you!” She yells, the words shooting from her beautiful mouth like knives. A few bystanders turn to glance at us but quickly pull their eyes away again. Skyler shifts uncomfortably, her fingers still playing with her hair.
“Are you saying you’re not important to me?”
“No, I’m saying you didn’t have a choice. I did. The runner-up prize is plenty for me to pay off school and set my family up, Kip. And even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t matter. You did this for your dad, for his dying wish. If it were me in your shoes, I know you would have done the same.”
And just like that, every ounce of control over my body is gone. I feel my muscles tense and I’m shaking slightly, though I don’t think she can see it. No one else in this world would have done what she did tonight, and she just admitted that she didn’t do it because she couldn’t stand to be there with me, or because she felt sorry for me – she did it because I care about my dad, and she cares about me.
My brows pull together. “So what does this mean?”
Skyler shrugs. “I don’t know. It means you won and I lost, I guess.”
“I don’t know if I agree with that.”
She tilts her head slightly, questioning.
“I may have won the tournament,” I breathe, taking a small step toward her. “But did I lose you?”
For the first time tonight, she pulls her eyes away from me and to the ground. I freeze, my hands by my sides but desperately aching to reach out and touch her.
“I don’t know where we go from here, Kip. I don’t know if we can come back from this. We lied. Both of us. We played games and even though all the cards are on the table now, I don’t know if this is a game we can finish playing and still survive.”
My bottom lip shakes and I look toward the sky like someone can save me, willing myself to keep control. Slowly, I bring my eyes back to hers and let out a long breath. “I’m sorry, Skyler. For everything. And I know those two words won’t do anything to heal the fucking hole I’ve punched in you but I mean them. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know that nothing in this world is more important to me than you are. Nothing.” I pause, trying to find the right words to say. “You’ve changed everything about my life. Every dream I thought I had means nothing to me now if you’re not a part of them, too. I’ve never opened myself up to love, I’ve never let anything get in the way of my career. But you came in and turned all that into nothing. You obliterated everything I thought was important. All that matters to me, Skyler, is you.”
Skyler fidgets, her eyes on the ground. “How do I know what was real and what wasn’t? How do I know when you were getting to know me because you wanted to as opposed to when you were just playing a game?”
I move closer but she steps away, keeping the space between us. I wish she’d just let me pull her into me. If she could feel my heart, the way it beats only for her, she’d know the answer to her question.
“Everything was real, Skyler. It was real when we kissed the night we met and the electricity shocked us both. It was real when I asked you about your past. It was real when I helped you figure out who you really are and told you not to be ashamed of her. It was real when you ripped my fucking heart out at the Valentine’s Day dance.” I pause, my body trembling at that moment, knowing this night could very well end the same way. “When I touched you for the first time, when we fought because we cared too much about each other, when we made sacrifices and decisions we weren’t proud of – all of that was real. This,” I say, stepping toward her. This time she doesn’t move. “We, are real.”
She still won’t look at me, and the pain in my chest is almost too much to handle. I know it’s a poor bet, but I’m running out of options. I reach into my pocket and pull out the lone black die I bought after the tournament ended.
“Let’s let fate decide. Roll the die,” I say, holding out the shiny black plastic in my hand. “If it’s a four, we give this game another round. If it’s anything else, we walk away.”
She eyes me through her lashes. “You know those odds are really terrible, right?”
I shrug. “I’m confident in our number.”
Chewing her lip, she studies me for a moment longer before slowly taking the die from my hand. She shakes her head, but tosses the die in her hand a few times before letting it slide across the concrete.
My heart is thundering in my chest, stirring up a storm that racks my entire body as the small black die bounces. It knocks against a man’s shoe, bounces a few more times, and finally falls.
Six.
My heart stops beating and just sinks, down through my chest, my stomach, all the way to the cold hard ground. My shoulders fall with it, and the weight I thought was unbearable before completely gives way, making me crumble and break beneath it. I can’t even lift my eyes to find Skyler’s, I just stare at that fucking die, at that fucking number, and I know this is one of those images I’ll have seared in my memory forever.
The crowd is lively around us, but it’s as if Skyler and I are in our own bubble, the noise and excitement muted by our despair. Suddenly, Skyler bends down to retrieve the die. She goes to hand it back to me and I inwardly cringe, not wanting to touch the cursed plastic, but then, it goes sailing over my head.
Whipping around, I watch as it falls into the fountain with a splash. I turn to Skyler and she’s smiling, her sky blue eyes dancing in the soft light of the fountain. “I’m done leaving my life to chance. Black number four can suck it.”
She closes the space between us and before I have the chance to realize what’s happening, I wrap her in my arms and crush my mouth to hers. My hands find her hair and I pull her in deeper, my mouth still hard on hers as she fists my shirt in her hands. Music spills out from the fountain speakers and the show begins, but neither of us look up to see it. We lose ourselves in each other, touching and feeling and kissing as the water shoots up into the night sky until someone near us clears their throat, pulling us back to reality.
“I love you,” I breathe, pulling back and running the pad of my thumb across her lower lip. “I’m so fucking sorry, Skyler.”
“Stop.” She shakes her head. “We both played a stupid game.”
“I promise to never gamble with your heart again, Ella Mae.”
She smiles, pulling me in for another long kiss. “Deal.”
Grabbing her hand, I pull her away from the fountain and toward the strip. I want her alone tonight, even if the city is begging us to stay out. “I can’t believe you let me watch that die roll like that, when you knew it didn’t even matter.”
She giggles. “It was fun to watch you sweat.” She winks and I grip her hand a little tighter and nudge her playfully. “That was super cheesy, by the way,” she adds, glancing back at the fountains still going off.
“What? You’re not impressed with that impeccable timing?”
“How did you know I wouldn’t be dumping your ass when the fountains went off like that?”
I frown, pulling her into me and knuckling her head. She laughs and pushes me off, her radiant smile lighting up the strip more than the casino lights.
“I knew you couldn’t resist this.”
She rolls her eyes. “Please.”
I stop, pulling her into me and pressing my lips to hers. Running my fingertips down her arms, I grip her waist and pull her into me, biting her bottom lip between my teeth. She moans and I instantly harden, tugging her closer so she feels what she’s doing to me. “You couldn’t resist me if you tried.”